Diva Knows Best

Thank You

2007-11-21T14:22:00.000-05:00

With Thanksgiving approaching, it seems appropriate to use this as a time of refection and gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for. Life moves fast and often prevents me from showing the proper sense of amazement and splendor that surrounds me everyday.

With that said, here are the things for which I am grateful:

My budding Diva - I can’t wait to meet her and figure out what makes her tick. From her raucous kicking, I’m guessing it’s Led Zeppelin and spicy foods.

Mozzarella sticks- It must be my need for calcium because I’ve craved and consumed many pounds of these melty treats over the past months.

Miracles- I’m thankful that I’ve only gained 13 pounds in eight months. I thought I’d be tipping 200 pounds by now. Of course, I expect my ass and nose to spread considerably in the last month.

The Food Network- I’ve been watching cooking programs like I am studying to be a chef. I’m utterly entertained watching chefs prepare foods that don’t even look appetizing to me. Go figure!

The Gods of Fashion- Who have bestowed an uncanny talent upon me that’s allowed me to look more put together than I did before pregnancy. I’ve actually made the beer belly look work.

Tums, Prune juice, Water and Pillows- These four things have made the last months bearable.

Britney Spears- God bless her troubled soul. Watching her life spin out of control has made my life (and I’m sure yours) seem a whole lot more normal.

May you have a happy and healthy holiday with the people you love and make you laugh. Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble! Gobble!

2007-11-19T12:22:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what it is about this Thanksgiving that has me feeling nostalgic for a homespun Midwest experience. Maybe it’s the hormones or possibly the simplicity of those days. We weren’t exactly a Norman Rockwell painting or the Huxtables but Thanksgiving always promised a most excellent meal. While most Americans have mashed potatoes, turkey, pumpkin pie and some concoction of cranberries. Our soulful spin on the holiday included macaroni and cheese, collard greens, chitlins (Pig intestines. Big with my sister and mother), ham, sweet potato pie, potato salad, sage cornbread dressing (the best) and roast chicken.

That’s right! We have chicken instead of turkey. One thing to know about the Diva is my strong dislike of what must be the blandest meat in the world- turkey. My mother, catering to the baby of the family (that’s me), roasts a chicken. A very large unnatural looking beast but boy was it yummy. No one seems to mind the break in tradition. Or at least they’ve never said anything to me.

I try to make it home for Thanksgiving but with me eight months pregnant (That’s right. It’s the neverending pregnancy), I can’t get on an airplane. So, I’m having a South Florida Thanksgiving, which is sure to include rice and beans, yucca, plantains and possibly Puerto Rican tamales. Don’t get me wrong. I will certainly partake in the meal gleefully if not joyfully. I’m just a little homesick.

I spent the weekend glued to the Food Network watching the Thanksgiving programming. I watched annoying Bobby Flay flog a former Butterball Hotline operator/turkey expert during a turkey and dressing Throwdown. Too bad. I so enjoy it when he loses. I learned the difference between stuffing and dressing. Stuffing is cooked inside the bird while dressing is prepared outside the bird. Who would have known after all these years? I learned five different ways to cook turkey during the Turkey Challenge.

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe that Ohio Thanksgiving experience that I thought was so unremarkable was downright incredible. I’ll miss my dad angling for the chicken neck, my sister highlighting her latest Martha Stewart-esque yam casserole, my mom cooking the bird all night long and the random relative/family friend that showed up unexpected on that big day.

I’m not so much sad as extremely satisfied and grateful (with a hint of melancholy) for these vivid memories.

What are your favorite Thanksgiving memories?

Valley of the Fakes

2007-11-05T11:31:00.000-05:00

I survived another weekend and even have the strength to talk about it. All I can say is there was a car trip to the West coast with my in-laws (J had to work) and a baby shower (not mine). Anyone who knows me, knows that baby showers are one of my least favorite things in the world. It’s not that I don’t love babies or baby items. I even strongly believe in the ritual of making them women-only. It’s a right of passage like getting your period and your first broken heart- you muddle through it.

But for some reason you put all those factors together and I lose interest. I participate because I’m a wickedly traditional diva. I much rather go to a bridal shower. With that said, I actually had a good time considering the circumstances. It’s also prepping me for my Big Fat Black Puerto Rican Baby Shower that is coming up shortly.

I got into town early and was treated to a delightful treat. I’d never done this before but felt it was about time. Being the prickly movie and pop culture critic I can be, I was so surprised by my acceptance of this taboo practice. Enough of the foreplay. I’m coming clean. I saw my first bootleg movie this weekend. It was Why Did I Get Married? Besides a man coughing, baby crying, low audio and the occasional large bodied person that blocked the screen, it was an enjoyable experience. Would I do it again? I was poised to do it again with what I was assured was a stellar copy of American Gangster, alas I didn’t have the opportunity.

WDIGM was surprisingly funny and universal. I admire Tyler Perry but his movies tend to be very heavy handed in their message. Sometimes catering too much to his targeted market. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but he has the potential to be more that a great black writer and filmmaker. He can be a talented filmmaker. Period. Look at the growth in Spike Lee and Woody Allen when they stretched their talent.

WDIGM tells the story of four seemingly happy married couples. A yearly get together exposes the true state of their relationships. It’s not so much important to know the couples or their circumstances as much as the writing was witty and authentic. Singer Jill Scott was fantastic as the mistreated Sheila and Tasha Smith stole all her scenes as the ghetto fabulous businesswoman Angela. America’s Next Top Model fans know Smith as Tyra’s drama coach to the models. I wasn’t going to mention Janet Jackson’s participation but I will say this. She only sucked when it came to her dramatic scenes. That’s when the infamous Jackson whisper crept in. Other than that she was okay.

I kinda feel like a badass now. Watching my bootleg movies. I didn’t think much of my fake Dolce and Gabana purse and Chinatown Gucci watch but the movie sent me to another level.

What badass things did you do this weekend?

Sugar Glorious Sugar

2007-10-31T11:23:00.000-05:00

Candy corn. Sweet tarts. Dum Dum suckers and that syrupy sweet flourescent pink Dubble Bubble gum. The sweetness didn’t last long but it was heaven while it lasted. Stale popcorn balls. These are my fond childhood Halloween memories. Trick or treating until you can hardly carry the bag (or pillow case depending on how fancy you were.) Going home and inspecting my sweet bounty. That’s what I will always hold dear. Good times high on sugar until Thanksgiving.

Another great tradition was watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!, which aired last night. It didn’t disappoint. It still cracked me up after all these years. What’s better is as an adult you see more in the text. Maybe it’s reading too much into it but sometimes that’s half the fun. It’s only when you grow up that you realize how many adult traits the Peanuts gang actually had.

With great affection, here’s What I Learned from the Peanuts Gang:

Embrace Alternative Lifestyles

Without knowing it, creator Charles M. Schulz introduced me to my first bisexual -Peppermint Patty. Beyond the butch exterior that seemed to delight in torturing Marcie, there was also the aggressive She-Devil that wanted Charlie Brown something awful. Marcie was also into the S&M lifestyle as she was happy to be submissive to PP.

Random Minority Characters Have Always Been Around

Little black Franklin served no real purpose except to co-sign for one of his bigger named friends. It was obvious he was well spoken and smart but that was the extent of his contributions. Pigpen (with his pitiful cloud of dirt) served a similar purpose. He proved that CB was down with everyone.

Everyone Loves the Underdog

No matter how you look at it, Charlie Brown was a loser. Sure he was kind but boy was he gullible. He fell for that football trick every time. EVERY TIME! He rarely got the girl and was constantly immasculated by the uber-bitch Lucy. Lucy obviously had a thing for CB but couldn’t admit her crush.

You’re Never Too Young to Be Henpecked

Poor Linus was a slave to the girlish charms of blonde beauty Sally. She would talk him up one moment and make him blush them crush him with her emotional rants. No wonder he clung to that security blanket. He never saw it coming. His devotion for S kept it going. He was obviously being groomed to be an obedient husband one day.

What have you learned from Peanuts?

A Weekend of Revelations

2007-10-29T11:10:00.000-05:00

Once again, I’ve come to you for a confessional of sorts. This weekend turned into a pretty balanced time. Saturday was shopping and dinner with a cute boy (okay he’s only 2 but what a doll) and a good friend followed by a day of rest and homemade pizza (this could become my new favorite thing to do).

And here’s where the confessions begin:

Love That Piven

I’ve been behind on my movie watching. At this point it’s not about the new movies as much about just watching something new. I’m playing major catch up now. I caught the flick Smokin’ Aces. I remember seeing the preview and thinking it was a slick MTV style movie; heavy on flash but light on content. The plot is simple. Buddy Israel (Jeremy Piven) has turned informant to the mob thus putting a large bounty on his death and heart. Piven was spot on as the greedy Vegas performer who realizes his good days are coming to an end. His unraveling was emotional.

Besides an ending that takes itself a bit too seriously, the movie was good fun. The hit men that come out of the woodwork are a blast. That’s where the fun lies. Who will get to him first? Great fun. Not to mention it has one of those Cannonball Run casts that’s full of known actors with silly accents and disguises. I don’t know why but I enjoyed the free ness and macabe humor. There’s a ridiculously funny scene involving a Ritalin-addled boy who spent too much time watching BET and hip hop videos. Hilarious!

The Sun Will Come Out

Okay, here comes the bigger revelation. I spent a couple of hours watching the documentary Life After Tomorrow. What is that you say? It’s a film the chronicles the little girls who starred as Annie or orphans in the Broadway and National touring casts of Annie. Interesting you say? Probably not but I was enthralled with the doc. Here’s the kicker. I don’t know if that says more about me or the power and pull of Annie.

I’d like to think that Annie is such an American musical classic that everyone would listen to 30 and 40 something women talk about their careers as musical ingénues. You tell me. Most still remember the songs and choreography. All say it was one of the best times of their lives. There were lots of fun tidbits like overbearing stage moms, divorcing parents and the agony of developing breasts and being booted from the show. It was fun seeing the famous Annies like Sarah Jessica Parker and Allison Smith (Jennie from Kate & Allie) not to mention a host of others from 70s-80s TV and pop culture.

With that said, I’ve just ended my confessional.

What do you have to confess from this weekend?

Name That Tune

2007-10-19T09:07:00.000-05:00

I thought I’d take this glorious Friday and talk about music. Usually I ask what is your favorite. Today I’m turning the tables. At the suggestion of my buddy the real JR, I’m turning to Blender magazine’s list of the 50 Worst songs. I’m unsure of the criteria since there are some good songs on the list. Sure, they were played out on the radio. Sure, some have become elevator muzak but sometimes you have to take things within the context of the times.

Sure, my hair was sky high and teased in high school but that was very fashionable in the 80s. I was the Sarah Jessica Parker of my school. Sure, my childhood pictures show me wearing drab browns, mustards, olives and red shoes but that was all the rage at the time. You have to take things in context or at least that’s what I tell myself to justify the choices. The same applies to music. I Ran by Flock of Seagulls seems silly now but at the time that was the use of cutting edge synthesizers.

With that said the list contains some truly deserving candidates. There was no surprise to see Uncle Kracker, Gerardo (though, Rico Suave was the jam when I was a teen) or Aqua (could that Barbie song be any more ridiculous). But there were a few that surprised the hell out of me.

Here are a few that didn’t deserve to make the list:

#48 Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

Sure, this isn’t the best Beatles song ever and maybe the reggae/ska music should have been rethought but I absolutely love this song. It is one of my favorite Beatles songs. Even a bad Beatles song is better than most songs.

#42 Sounds of Silence

Yes, it’s a corny folk song but it is still an excellent example of great songwriting. It may sound like cerebral babble but for its time it was a pioneering way to express emotions. No one knocks Stevie Nicks for her lyrics.

#35 Shiny Happy People

Blasphemy!! How did an R.E.M. song get on this list? I’m appalled and outraged. How dare THEY! !@#$

#26 The End

Okay, I will be the first to admit that this song IS pretentious and slightly creepy. The whole part about killing his father is bizarre in a serial killer kind of way but it’s not on par with Color Me Badd’s I Wanna Sex You Up. Not even in the same league.

What do you think shouldn’t have made the list?

Not So Religious Experiences

2007-10-18T08:23:00.000-05:00

Ever take the time to slow down and really examine something. Whether it’s the size of the pores on your face or the way the dirt on your car artfully depicts the Virgin Mary. Life moves so fast that it becomes fascinating what you pick up when you really pay attention. No, I didn’t have a religious experience but I did lift my head out of the clouds long enough to look at the current celebrity headlines. So, I thought I’d write the random thoughts down and let you judge for yourself.

Don’t Cry For Me Iggy

Poor Ellen Degeneres has been a basket case lately. Her plea- Let Iggy go back to his new family. It seems after netting millions of dollars with her charm and business savvy, she forgot to read the fine print when she recently adopted a dog. When the puppy proved to be too much for her, she thoughtfully placed it in the safe home of her hairdresser’s family. The problem came when the adoption agency found out about the switcharoo and promptly removed the dog from the home.

All of this led to Ellen’s impassioned and somewhat blithering meltdown on her show begging for Iggy’s return. While slightly uncomfortable to watch, I believe it was heartfelt. Now the militant animal agency is taking the stance that they won’t be bullied by Ellen. Bullied? Investigate the family’s home and return the damn dog. Why the drama? I know they don’t want their dogs to be discarded or given to unsafe families but quit the drama and return the damn mutt.

Twelve Steps

I’m not an expert of recovery so maybe someone out there can clarify this. My only point of reference is an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie dated a recovering addict. I thought that part of the recovery process was not to enter into new romantic relationships. I probably have this wrong but it kinda makes sense. Enter Lindsey Lohan. Rumor has it the romantically discerning (snicker, snicker) starlet (more snickers) has a new beau and may be engaged. Does this go against the principals of recovery? And what’s up with all of these young girls needing to continuously date a string of men? I guess there is no such thing as getting to know yourself. They subscribe to the Elizabeth Taylor way of dating. But then again, at least she married her men and received extravagant jewelry for her companionship.

Salma Hayek Has My Baby

No, she wasn’t part of an international conspiracy plot to abduct my baby but she did steal my baby names. Granted J vetoed both but in my mind she still has my daughter. Loved Valentina. J turned it down. I thought it was strong yet feminine. Years ago, I introduced the idea of Paloma and was instantly shot down. I thought it was classic and sophisticated. J said anyone named Paloma should be rich and have a maid. And that folks, is how Salma Hayek has my baby.

What’s on your mind today?

No Shots for Me

2007-10-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

You know I’m all about reality programs but you also know I can be a little snobbish as well. I prefer reality shows that are competitive in nature with a clear prize or truly intriguing people with their own show. Somehow, I don’t think Tila Tequila qualifies as intriguing. Yet, MTV (not VH1) gave her a show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.

The premise of the show is as smutty and manipulative as Age of Love. The show follows TT as she, at least in the first episode, sucks face with every contestant vying for her love. By contestants I mean, the straight men and lesbians who are gathered but don’t know she has a secret.

What is that secret? She’s a man. She’s a virgin. Oh no, she’s bisexual. A secret she says her parents don’t even know but decided a TV dating show was the time and venue to come clean. Her parents must be so proud. Why didn’t they pick bisexual men and women? I’m sure she’s setting the bisexual movement back 50 years by making out with everyone on the show. Thus proving the stereotype that bisexuals are predatory and up for whatever. The show seems like an excuse to highlight hypersexed 20-somethings. Did the Real World run out of oversexed roommates? To make matters worse, one of the male contestants is a cast off from the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

I know I’m sounding like a suburban housewife clutching her pearls but I’m not clutching them because I’m shocked at the act. I don’t care about that. I’m disgusted to see the lengths that women will go to not only exploit themselves (that’s her choice) but to include others in the follies. It’s different if all parties knew what the situation was but they didn’t.

I’m not one of those women that think pornography is exploitive. I say if you’re in control and it’s what you truly want to do, than go for it. But if you’re doing it because you’re strung out on drugs, have daddy issues or abuse in your background there are other ways to work through that issue. I believe in female empowerment. However, ASAL is not female empowerment. It’s about extending your 15 minutes of fame.

When I first heard about the show, I thought it was a joke. Like a Saturday Night Live skit. I also wanted to know who was Tila Tequila. I went to my good friend Wikipedia. I learned she is a model/entertainer/singer and popular MySpace fixture. I was more impressed to see that she hosted Fuse’s Dance Off/Pants Off, which is a hilarious program that shows slightly unhinged people dancing and undressing to music videos. Don’t judge me. It’s hilarious and often unsettling.

I guess the real point of this blog is an impassioned plea for MTV to pull it’s programming out of the crapper and get back to the basics. Music videos. Please.

What do you think about ASAL?

The Freshman Class

2007-10-05T09:26:00.000-05:00

Boy, it’s been extremely difficult finding time to blog lately. Not only have I been more tired as my impending motherhood and expanding belly catch up with me, I’ve been in a TiVo frenzy trying to catch new shows while staying true to the oldies. This year’s freshman class is like most, some that are early standouts, some may emerge as dark horse favorites and some simply won’t graduate. You take your pick.

I’ve tried to give a quick run down on what my first impressions were. You can take it with a grain of salt considering I really talked up Studio 60 when it first came out. How was I to know that I’d instantly get bored and stop watching a couple of episodes later? With that said, I also called Heroes a winner and I stand by that.

Here’s a Diva’s look at the freshman class of 2007:

Chuck

Not bad. It’s an amusing premise of a regular geeky tech that unknowingly (at least at first) gets lured into the dangerous world of international espionage. I’m not sure this works in an hour setting; a half hour might have been more fitting. I still need to watch the second installment on TiVo. It has potential in its lead Chuck (Zachary Levi) and his weird buddy Morgan (Joshua Gomez).

The Big Bang theory

Nerds have the run of nighttime television these days. This particular group of intelligent nerds are great fun. Led by Leonard (Johnny Galeki) and Sheldon (Jim Parsons) the laughs are non-stop. The problem is the pretty girl across the hall, who is less pretty and not funny enough to compete. The laughs continue with Trekkie/Ringo look-a-like played by Simon Helberg and mute Kunal Nayyar.

Cane

Let me start by saying I love me some Jimmy Smitts. That’s a tall drink of something. I love that he’s back on TV and that the cast is minority. You don’t see that much. The first episode was interesting but may be a bit too soapy for me. It’s a combination of Que Pasa USA and Dallas. I’ll watch a couple more episodes. The story of sugar cane growing family is intriguing but Smitts brothers are pointless and far less interesting than he is. Time will tell if I continue to tune in.

Cavemen

Funny in a commercial. Ridiculously unfunny as a TV show. Appallingly not comic.

Carpoolers

The premise is funny and relatable but they need to tighten up the writing. There are too many gaps where the laughs stop. The standouts are lazy Marmaduke (T.J. Miller). It’s amusing that he walks around with without pants. His father Gracen (Fred Gross) is also funny. Reminds me of Steve Carell. The uptight Aubrey (Jerry Minor) has hilarious moments.

Dirty Sexy Money

I didn’t expect this to me so funny but it cracks me up. The first 15 minutes of the first episode were hilarious. Peter Krause as Nick is the perfect straight man and lawyer/babysitter/therapist to this family of misfits. Donald Sutherland (I’m loving him more and more) and Jill Clayburgh (great to see her onscreen again) are outstanding as the filthy rich leaders of the dysfunctional Darling family. Glenn Fitzgerald plays my new favorite character Father Brian. I hate you. Billy Baldwin came back to TV just in time to share screen time with Candis Cane. I love it! What daring casting. The Baldwin Brothers must be having a field day with this. I think this will continue to get better. I’ll stay tuned.

Big Shots

Or should I say Desperate Husbands. It’s not extremely compelling but I wonder whose idea it was to try to make a male and less racy version of Sex and the City. Will men really watch this show? It seems geared toward married women and gay men who would be better off watching the real thing. It was okay but not special.

Pushing Daisies

I’m fascinated. Will I continue to feel this way? We’ll see. I love the dark humor and Crayola colors of the show. And who is that narrator? Is he from The Grinch because he sounds familiar? I will say that it’s the most original of the new shows and therefore a winner already. How many shows can we watch about lusting doctors or rich affluent families? Adore it. Can’t wait to see more.

Kitchen Nightmares

Love the British version but wasn’t sure that Gordon Ramsay’s in-your-face tactics would work on Americans but the Scot must have been a soccer hooligan in a past life. He commands a certain respect but I think people are also intimidated by him, as well. I’ll tell you this, watching this show will turn you off dining out. The kitchens and often the food are disgusting. Yet, I can’t turn this off. Go figure.

What new shows are floating your boat?

What I Learned from Britney Spears

2007-10-02T10:29:00.000-05:00

I’ve spoken about it for months and yesterday it was confirmed. Britney Spears’ life has gone from mildly amusing to tragically pitiful. I can’t say there was much joy or even a snicker finding out that she lost custody of her children. Hell, it wasn’t fun watching her shave her weave or sleepwalk through the VMAs either. It was sad to watch her crumble under the stress of her failed marriage and sudden motherhood.

While it’s a pathetic situation, there is a lot to be learned. Here’s what I learned from Britney Spears:

Leggos are Fun

We see it time and time again. Children who attain a lot of responsibility and fame at a young age only to have their worlds crumble. How can you keep everything in perspective? Not everyone can be a Jodie Foster or Brooke Shields and continue their careers with little scandal. The Michael Jacksons and Lindsey Lohans of the world prevail. There is a reason for childhood. It’s a time to develop your cognitive, emotional and social skills at a natural pace. Trouble follows when you skip these phases. After such tremendous success, it probably made sense to Britney to get married and have children. What else was there to achieve? However, she was emotionally and mentally incapable of taken on such responsibility.

Beware of Men Who Talk Holes in Your Clothes

If this were a Lifetime movie, Tori Spelling or Kellie Martin would play Britney and John Stamos would portray Kevin Federline and it would be titled Mother May I Flirt with Danger or something like that. Before I went to college, my mother told me to beware of men who talk holes in your clothes and never leave your drink. Both sage words of advise.

KFed is one of those talkers. You can’t blame it all on him. Her low self-esteem and inner angst led to this but a well-timed warning from a mother could have helped. The world is filled with smooth talkers. They are slick, beautiful and charismatic but can lead to trouble and quite a few holes in your clothes. The best way to handle this man is see him for who he is and then have some slutty fun. She didn’t have to marry him or bear his children. But she did, and this will be their unfortunate connection for the rest of their lives.

Don’t Pay Mommy

Every celebrity needs close family with him or her who is not on the payroll. Buy mom a house but don’t let her become too dependent on you. The big question remains where is Britney’s close-knit hillbilly family. Where were they two years ago? My mother would have disowned me when I interviewed with Matt Lauer looking like a bloated streetwalker. My dad would have sat me down before I married KFed and my sister would have run out on the VMA stage after the first strands of music played. Celebrities need their family to keep them grounded. They need seasoned public relations professionals who are brutally honest and loyal. They need someone to say it’s time to go on medication, wear underwear, seek professional help, keep your ass at home and care for your kids.

What have you learned from Britney?

See You at the Movies

2007-09-26T14:40:00.000-05:00

Part of the full cinema experience, for me, is the previews. Before watching Across the Universe last weekend, I was treated to some pretty interesting previews for upcoming films including what will definitely be Oscar-buzz films. A film can be totally sold on a memorable trailer, which needs to tease but give you enough intrigue to want more.

The most promising of the bunch is Atonement based on the bestseller by Ian McEwan. It has all the elements that the Academy loves accents, period clothes, exotic locales, longing and love. Keira Knightly and James McAvoy (who was brilliant in The Last King of Scotland) head up the cast. The trailer looks like an outstanding story about love and the repercussions of a falsely accused crime. I will be in the theater for that.

We Own the Night looks like a 2007 version of The Departed. You’ve got father and son cops and another nightclub owner son who is walking that fine line between good and bad. The all-star cast Robert Duvall (Has he ever been bad in a movie?), Mark Wahlberg (Good God! Hell has frozen over. Marky Marky is a credible actor) and Joaquin Phoenix (I love him disheveled hair and sensitive portrayals) almost guarantees perfect.

I’m torn on August Rush. The first time I saw the preview for this tearjerker about a young boy trying to find his parents, I was in tears. The second time I felt a little manipulated. Freddie Highmore is a doll and it’s nice to see Felicity (Kerri Russell) again. The biggest selling point for me is Jonathan Rhys Meyers complete with sleepy eyes and pouty lips. Yummy! However, Robin Williams yucking it up in a cowboy hat and funky beard is troublesome.

The last was Things We Lost in the Fire. Call me a freak of nature but the first clip of the preview shows a close up of an eye. Somehow the Gods of movie magic the intuition to know it was Benicio Del Toro. Freaky. Halle Berry plays a widow who asks her husband’s troubled best friend (Del Toro) to move in and help her family cope with the loss. The jury is still out on this one.

What movies are you looking forward to seeing?

Love Love Love

2007-09-24T13:05:00.000-05:00

I finally got my hormone-ravaged body to a movie this weekend and boy was it worth it. I didn’t have that immediate feeling of, ‘I left the house for this crap.” Amazing. I had the privilege of seeing Across the Universe; the Julie Taymor directed film that managed to fit 30 or so Beatles songs into the context of a movie. It doesn’t seem that difficult when you look at the diversity and length of their catalog.

It reminded me of Mamma Mia, in that you knew the songs ahead of time and didn’t have to decipher lyrics or if you liked the song. Of course MM was made for me since I’m an ABBA nerd. I can’t wait for Meryl to bring it to life onscreen. As I get older, my appreciation of Beatles songs gets stronger. The strength of their songs lies in the simplicity and emotion of the lyrics. Period. It’s not about over-singing to cover up weak lyrics or belting them out. The melodies are often simple and always heartbreaking. They stand the test of time. Forty years later and Yesterday is still relatable and even more important relevant. I can’t say enough about their writing skills. Brilliant! I place them with Stevie Wonder, James Taylor, Elton John/Bernie Taupin and Cole Porter. Their songs live and breathe as if they were written yesterday. Not many of today’s pop songs will do the same.

The plot of Across the Universe isn’t as important as the meaning in the songs or the vision of their execution. The film follows ex-Liverpool resident Jude (Jim Sturgess), angelic Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood), conflicted Prudence (T.V. Carpio), saucy Sadie (Dana Fuchs), soulful JoJo (Martin Luther McCoy) and fun guy turned Vietnam soldier Max (Joe Anderson) during their turbulent lives in 1960s NYC.

The most moving moments belonged to Wood as she broke my heart singing If I Fell and McCoy’s smoky version of While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Joe Cocker gave one hell of a cameo. Let’s the just when put in a zoot suit, he looks like a Puerto Rican pimp. Enough said. There were images that will stay with me including bleeding strawberries and a Pink Floyd The Wall recruitment scene. All dreamy and memorable. The Mr. Kite scene was very Moulin Rouge.

The movie was a bit long but I appreciated the originality so much I forgave that. Sturgess was adorable and Jake Gyllenhaul-esque. By the time they got to Hey Jude, I was cheering. Wood was endearing, though I find it hard to erase her Lolita role with boyfriend Marilyn Manson. Yuck! I know I should be more adult but YUCK!!

This film made me think about my favorite Beatles song. Years ago the list wouldn’t have existed but today it’s plentiful.

In My Life

I’ve written before that this song makes me cry every time. It’s so tender and honest. I thought about using as my wedding song.

Revolution

I love this when it’s performed in a punchy almost punk style. I love the lyrics and the vibe of the song.

Yesterday

Who doesn’t love this song? It’s essential Beatles. Innocent and magical, before they started growing up and turned more worldly.

Obla-de obla-da

What can I say? I was fan of Life Goes On. I’m convinced if I ever had twins I’d call them Molly and Desmond.

Penny Lane

Can’t describe it. I think I simply dig the melody.

Have you seen Across the Universe? What’s your favorite Beatles song?

Not Quite Lord of the Flies

2007-09-20T09:15:00.000-05:00

Though I’m sure that’s what they want it to become. Of course, I’m referring to the desperate brainchild of CBS Kid Nation. The show takes 40 average kids from all walks of life and plops them in the middle of a ghost town aka Bonanza Town. Supposedly there was a group of adults who tried to settle the town but it didn’t work. The kids ranging in age from 8 to 15 are given a guide to settling the town.

You go into this expecting the kids to rip each other apart and there were whispers of things to come. Some of the drama was quelched by producers creating a council. Four children were selected to be the leaders. Interesting, because you wanted to see how they would pick a leader through a vote, hostile takeover or someone who demonstrated that quality. The council is a trip. They consist of a young beauty pageant veteran who doesn’t do dishes, a neurotic stressed out Woody Allen-type, a brainy Indian or Pakistani (don’t really know) who claims only three adults have made contributions to the world and a motherly redhead who lets us know she won’t compromise her values.

There are too may kids to distinguish at this point but the most interesting are a bitchy 14-year-old who danced on the street to raise money for a bike, a tiny 8-year-old who realized home wasn’t so bad, a black Chicago kid who is accident prone, a 14-year-old thuggy skateboarder who has already vandalized the town and picked a fight with the scrawny Woody Allen clone and the people’s leader whose speech led to a standing ovation. Did I mention they dangle a $20,000 prize to the lucky winners of the gold star for best settler of the week and a phone call home? See this isn’t as exploitive as it sounds (note the sarcasm).

I can safely say I won’t watch this show again. From a marketing stand point, this first night was a success and is no doubt water cooler chatter for the day. I found it slightly abusive to put the younger kids (8-11) on their own. There were way too many tears and sniffles for my comfort. The children were forced to confront fears for the sake of television. Not cool. It was encouraging to see them root for each other and question things but I don’t know that that makes riveting television unless one of the kids is yours. It was scary to see the characteristics of their parents in their actions and words. These children had a lot of anxiety, neurosis and stress. I also have a sneaking suspicion that half of the cast is kid actors waiting for their big Disney break. They were a bit too camera ready.

What did you think of Kid Nation?

Instant Karma

2007-09-19T14:10:00.000-05:00

I wasn’t going to talk about this because I find O.J. Simpson to be a slick and disgusting character but I can’t help but comment. I think it was a lot to stomach his smug attitude during the trial of his slain ex-wife. Not to mention the juicy but lurid details of their marriage and divorce. It was painful to watch her family agonize. So, with that years behind us and finally getting used to the fact that he still walks freely among us, he’s at it again. With brazen stupidity, he’s managed to find trouble with the law again over stolen memorabilia. I can’t help but feel this is some sort of cosmic payback – karma or is it just life.

There are many celebrities that seem to be going through a down swing. Not that I’m particularly happy to see anyone going through hardship. However, when it’s a celebrity there’s a little bit of relief. That even with the ritzy mansion, perfect smile and million-dollar payday, they still have troubles. Call me wicked but it makes them more human and therefore I feel less resentful for their embarrassment of riches (or what most of us perceive as riches).

So who else has come under the control of the karma police? Here’s a look at my nominations:

Britney Spears

Let me go on record and I’ve probably said this before, poor Brit Brit has gone from amusing to tragic in two marriages, two children, a divorce and one unfortunate performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. It’s time for an intervention. But was this latest turn due to bad decisions or the fact that she entered into a relationship with a man whose girlfriend was 8 months pregnant with their second child.

Paris Hilton

How much partying can you do before you’re in the slammer with a DUI? Good question. Ask PH. Honestly believing you are entitled to re-write the law can be disappointing when you find out that you can’t. You’re not above the law even if you’re name is on a chain of luxury hotels.

Lindsey Lohan

There seems to be a lot of forces going against this girl – abusive family life, drug addict father and a desperate stage mom. This seems to be a strong cocktail to drink. Once again, you can only party so much before reality sets in and you have to spend more that a couple of weeks in rehab while you film a movie. How the hell does that work?

Who do you think is another casualty of karma or simply life?

And the Emmy Goes To ...

2007-09-17T10:26:00.000-05:00

Dear hearts, I’m proud to say I didn’t break tradition in spite of lackluster years in watching the Emmys. Sure it was long. Like the Oscars without the occasional production numbers for Best Song but it held my attention for the three plus hours it aired. I wasn’t expecting much more from host Ryan Seacrest than he provided, his usual affable personality and vast knowledge of celebrities. He didn’t have to do much besides the opening monologue, which he seemed to share with Ray Romano. He came out and made a few clever quips and disappeared. I did find it amusing that he managed to out himself in that short amount of time. Remembering the star’s designers is one thing knowing the maker of a specific shoe is NOT something on which straight men capitalize. The Tudor outfit was just the icing on the cake especially when he joked about keeping it.

The awards ceremony in the round must have seemed like a groundbreaking concept in theory but just led to the running joke of the evening. No one really wants to see the back of someone’s head all night. Even if it was styled by Frederic Fekkai. Don’t get me wrong the stage was beautiful and I loved the round screen that lifted off the floor to reveal presenters. Another concept that was lost on the audience until Seacrest brought it up was the idea that the ceremony was green. News to us. We couldn’t tell the carpet was made of recycled bottles.

Overall the Emmys were ambition but way to long. It was chock full with teary acceptance speeches and genuine emotion. There were a lot of surprise winners and others that lacked drama. Face it, if you’re in a category with Robert Duvall, Judy Davis or Helen Mirren, you need to hang it up. I loved that America Ferrera won for Ugly Betty and 30 Rock for Best Comedy. Jeremy Piven of Entourage is always a favorite of mine. I was rooting for Hugh Laurie (House) and Masi Oka (Heroes).

Here’s a few of the night’s highlights:

Get the @#*& Out of Here

There was more cursing than a sanitation worker’s union meeting. You know things are crazy when Gidget gets bleeped. Katherine Heigl accepts here much-deserved win but not before she mouths an obscenity. And you thought MTV had cornered the market on vulgarity. The swearing actually kept me interested.

Best Acceptance Speech

Post partum Jaime Pressley gave an emotional speech that was short but simple and encompassed the struggle of her career. It was heartfelt when she thanked her management team who believed in the little engine that could.

Most Confusing Dress

Young Hayden Panettiere’s dress was a ball of confusion. The puffy bottom had way too much volume to be considered fashionable. While I applaud her adult choice, it didn’t work.

The Young and the Restless

I was trying to make sense out of Conan O’Brien’s wrinkly face. He looked like Father Time. On the other hand, Cicely Tyson looked a good 30 years younger than her real age. I guess it is true that black don’t crack.

Best Dressed

America Ferrera was a stand out in a blue number that hugged her curves dangerously close. Katherine Heigl channeled old Hollywood glamour complete with white Harlow-esque dress and red lips. Mariska Hartigay and Felicity Huffman were also dressed to impress.

Child Endangerment?

I know she hasn’t gone public with her pregnancy but I’m hoping that the ever-bronzed Christina Aguilera will take a break from her spray tanning while she’s pregnant. I’m sure the baby would appreciate it.

Best Put Down

I think we (Americans) were dissed by Dame Mirren but in true British fashion she managed to make it sound almost like a compliment. She had us laughing at her dig. That's the sign of a true stateswoman.

What were your favorite moments of the night?

What tops your list?

2007-09-14T10:34:00.000-05:00

I just read the funniest thing about Elizabeth Taylor. I don’t know why this struck me as funny but it did and also exposes my warped sense of humor. You be the judge. Read here. I don’t know if it’s more amusing that she’s makin’ with men or that the guy is black, something that would have killed her career at its height.

My good buddy JR passed me this interesting list of the Time magazine’s 100 best TV shows ever. We have this ritual of taking anything from Emmy nominations and Kennedy Center Honoree lists and picking them apart. We’re a better dressed Siskel & Ebert. I’d like to think that we hone our pop culture street cred with these practices but we might just a tad bit bitchy and opinionated. Whatever the reason, we adore the banter.

The list is peppered with the usual I Love Lucy, MASH and Roots. I love the off beat additions of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (watched it but was too young to get it), Arrested Development, SOAP and Pee Wee’s Playhouse (I spent many a Saturday waiting for the Secret Word).

HOWEVER, and you know where this is going, I noticed a few shows that could have been added to this list.

Good Times

This was America’s first real glimpse into black urban life. Though it was played for laughs, they still tackled current issues. It’s also important to note that it was mainstream network that took the chance on airing the program. It ranks up there with All in the Family, which was superior in showing a racist/conservative character that you ended up loving.

Laverne and Shirley

I just had to add this because it is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. It produced memorable characters that are still hilarious today.

The Grinch That Stole Christmas

You could argue this as the best Christmas cartoon ever especially since it’s still played every December. I music is iconic and the miserable Grinch is one of the best all time villains.

Hereos

I know it may be too early to add but I think there’s an argument for its addition. Not only from a storytelling point of view and creativity. It is also a marketing genius.

Who do you think is missing from the list?

Odds and Ends

2007-09-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

The news has been jam packed with little stories that have stayed on my mind. And I don’t mean the usual trivial Lindsey or Paris updates. Here’s a quick run down on what has been on my mind.

It’s Time to Have a Baby

Not me. I still have a ways to go. I’m referring to the random (yet wanted and happy) pregnancies of Salma Hayak and now Halle Berry. Not taking anything away from their joy but every woman is familiar with the clicking biological clock and the ever-present message that you’re getting older and therefore better have a baby before your eggs and ovaries dry up. It’s kinda like Eddie Murphy and Warren Beatty taking a break from whoring around and deciding it’s time to settle down. With both woman looking at the other side of 40, that clock ticks loudly for all to hear. I know being a first time mom at 36. This may not seem old but in mommy years, I’m playing catch up.

There Goes the Neighborhood

I don’t know if Barbara Walters thought closely about putting two black women on The View panel. Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd (who was brilliant on Everyone Loves Raymond and Less Than Perfect) were inspired choices. Combined that are clever, witty and ten time less annoying that Rosie. I may have to start putting the sistas on my TiVo season pass.

Sweet Nectar of the Gods

Oprah is back! Yippee. By now, you all know I don’t want to be Oprah but want to be more Oprah-esque. She kicked off the season with my favorite smart ass David Letterman. I’ve been a fan from when he was on the other network. I even got my mother watching him. I adore his dry since of humor and warped mind. I also relate to his private reclusive nature. The show was insightful with Oprah pulling gems from the gap toothed talk show host in between his jokes and half answers. The last segment was reserved for the lackluster yet underwhelming performance by Lisa Marie Presley with papa Elvis. They sang In the Ghetto, which is one of my mother’s favorite Elvis songs. I could have done without the pairing but applaud the effort.

What’s on your mind today?

VMAs Hit Sin City

2007-09-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

Yes, I watched the MTV Video Music Awards and YES, Britney Spears was the train wreck that everyone is saying she was. The tradition of watching the video awards goes back to when Madonna was young nubile and writhing around the stage in a wedding dress. I’ve seen the highs and the lows over the years. It’s always entertaining but it just dawned on me that I may be getting too old for the awards ceremony or MTV has run out of tricks. Or maybe a combination of the two. Just like they seem to have run out of music programming, which Justin Timberlake pointed out several times last night, they might have run out of clever interesting ways to present the Video Music Awards.

It was a stroke of marketing genius for The Palms to offer their hotel. You can’t buy that kind of exposure. Between MTV and E!’s The Girls Next Door, The Palms has established itself as the cool place to stay in Las Vegas. It was also smart to move the VMAs to Sin City, which has its own built in atmosphere and hype. However, the awards call for a bigger stage and better blocked performance.

This year, MTV tried to sell us on the idea of private VIP parties. Great. BUT, we only caught snippets of performances, bad audio and even worse camera work trying to catch all the action. It was like being inside a mosh pit. The best performances of the night were with the Foo Fighters unfortunately, we only caught a few minutes of performance. I really wanted to see their rendition of the Prince gem Darling Nikki with Cee-Lo.

Here’s a quick look at my picks for best and worse moments:

Not Ready for Primetime Player

Poor Brit Brit sleepwalked through her so-so performance. I’ve never seen her energy so low during a performance. I expected an over-the-top extravaganza with lots of dancers, animals and fireworks. She barely moved hips or her lips to the track. If this was her great comeback, it failed miserably.

I Still Don’t Get Here

I know Sara Silverman is extremely popular and seen as provocative but I don’t get her humor when it comes to individuals. She’s funny on topics but when she rips into a person, it’s uncomfortable and nasty. Beyond my usual snarky seal of approval. Her little bit went sour the minute she started calling Britney’s kids mistakes. Ouch!!

Best Non-Televised Event

I sure as hell have to find the Kid Rock/Tommy Lee brawl on the internet. I love it and I love the fact that it wasn’t two rappers. It’s no secret why they were fighting. I just want to see it personally. How rock n’ roll.

Guilty Pleasure

The Mark Ronson interludes were inspiring but my favorite was Adam Levine. The man whore continues to be my not so secret guilty pleasure. I love his voice, phrasing and vibe. Wipe off the slimey coat and I would have dated him in my 20s.

Best Dancer

Watch out Usher and JT. There’s a young buck nipping at your heels. Chris Brown gave the most explosive dance performance of the night. I was disappointed that he didn’t sing live, he always does but his footwork was impeccable. I actually expected (or hoped) that Michael Jackson would come out when the strands of Billie Jean started playing.

What did you love or hate at the VMAs?

Everyone Loves a Good Show

2007-09-06T10:32:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the long break in between entries but I just got finished watching the Justin Timberlake concert from Monday night. If you happened to miss the hoopla of the HBO concert event, it was like a retro MC Hammer concert with the cast of High School Musical. There were hip-hop dancers colliding with R & B crooners singing their heart out to the funk band in the center of the chaos. All of this was held together remarkably well by JT himself. Very edgy yet very controlled. Let’s put it this way. I was transfixed for 37 minutes before what I can only imagine was a migraine started to set in. I spent the next 1½ hours flipping back and forth hoping for glimpses of my favorite songs.

I enjoyed the ambition of the concert and the experience he was attempting to give the viewers. My only issue was with the music of the second album. It all sounds the same. At times I had trouble distinguishing one song from another. I enjoyed the more eclectic sounds of the debut Justified album. Anyway, I thought he worked the hell out of it for a reformed boy bander and showed that if he’s able to grow musically, he may be around for a while.

I like HBO’s idea of showing you a great concert in the comfort of your home. No screaming teens, overpriced tickets and jammed parking lot. But there is nothing like the real deal. I’ve forgone live concerts in the last years because as I age and become more crotchety, I like crowds less and less. I still have a few dream concerts including Sade, Prince (old school songs only), U2, No Doubt, Madonna, James Taylor, ABBA and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

With that said, I’ve also seen some amazing concerts. Here are a few that top my list:

Marc Anthony

Let me preface this by saying that I’ve been a fan of his for roughly12 years. Before JLo. I’ve seen him three times in concert. The best was a tiny nightclub in North Miami. He went on at 1 a.m. and didn’t leave for another 2 ½ hours. It was magical. He is my favorite male vocalist.

Luther Vandross

I may be the only teenager whose mother took them to see Luther. This was back in the 80s and he was medium Luther as opposed to thin Luther and fat Luther. He had that velvety smooth R & B voice that is missing from today’s radio. He sounded just like the record only better. Small concession: he used to turn the air off when he sang.

Menudo

I was already outgrowing the teen heartthrobs but when they came to Cleveland I made my mom take me. To this day I remember the Molly Ringwald-esque outfit I wore complete with white skirt, oversized pastel print, pink socks and mint green heals. I also remember that they sang Huey Lewis’ Hip to be Square and Madonna’s Isla Bonita.

What was the most memorable concert you’ve seen or are you still waiting for the dream concert?

Give Me a Break

2007-08-29T13:28:00.000-05:00

As much as I adore pop culture and its undeniable contributions to language, fashion and culture, I’m also aware of the down side. That dark side that sucks people of their originality and turns them into a poor man’s Paris Hilton or a weak Maroon 5 video. I champion pop culture on all levels but seem to understand what is personal taste and what is a flashy trend populated by celebrities and those who wish to be celebrities.

I’ve argued this point before. It’s okay for Mariah Carey to wear that micro mini and stilettos at the airport because she’s not going to have to trek through the airport on foot and lift her own luggage. I got the idea for this blog after viewing a young man walking down US1 wearing mirrored aviator glasses at 7 this morning.

Here are a few pop culture staples that have gone too far in everyday life:

The Kanye Effect

You know where he wears white leather jackets, heavy gold chains and blinder shades. Just a reminder that this looks ridiculous in him but we forgive him because we expect entertainers to be flamboyant and zany. It’s artistic. In reality you look like a fool wearing gold chains from the Mr. T Collection and a single white glove. Not cute in real life.

Jimmy Choos for Tinkerbell

In my mind it is animal cruelty to dress animals in dresses, shoes, sweaters or T-shirts. A well-placed bandana is always cute but full designer duds are a waste of money and demeaning to animals. It’s also a good idea to let your dog walk for its self. Stop carrying these damn teacup pooches everywhere. It strips the dog of its true nature.

Moon Over Miami

The micro mini is not for everyday people over 18 years old. Leave it for the youngsters and I encourage them to underwear AND leggings or tights. If not, don’t attempt to bend over. Let that pencil stay where it is. It’s bad luck to see the crack of someone’s ass.

Smooth as Silk

Message to young and some old men: Stop waxing your eyebrows within an inch of their lives. We appreciate the effort but when we say clean up the brows, we mean make sure there are two and they don’t meet your hairline. I’m also down with manscaping as long as it’s done to prevent you from looking like a grizzly bear or Robin Williams.

Willy’s Little Helpers

I’m appalled that people are still trying to tan. I don’t understand why there are still tanning salons when there are better over-the-counter options. Not to mention that horrible orange color that is spreading across the nation. Please stop.

What pop culture trends are driving you crazy in the real world?

Mommie Dearest

2007-08-27T12:59:00.000-05:00

As I continue this journey into the exclusive motherhood club, it has made become more introspective. What kind of mother will I become? I know this about myself: I don’t baby talk animals, my husband or my own kid; I’m fun and playful with children but a traditional disciplinarian; I’m a strong proponent of not only books but film as well and I won’t dress my daughter (Oh yea, I’m growing a budding PCD) in all pink, skirts or frilly Loretta Lynn inspired frocks.

My parents were pretty powerful influences in my life. My mother worked her way through college after she got married and took vacations alone with my sister and me. My father was adamant that both my sister and me went to college and have a career so we wouldn’t be dependant on a man. Both of my parents were strong advocates for traveling. They felt we should see how other people lived beyond our small town, which explains the exotic vacations to Haiti and Belgium as a kid. Pretty progressive stuff for Ohio.

But they weren’t the only influences on my child rearing skills. As a true pop culture child, these women also opened my mind to alternative mothering skills:

Clair Huxtable-The Cosby Show

She was smart, beautiful and had a deliciously strong hand with her husband. I do think she is the #1 TV mom.

June Cleaver-Leave it to Beaver

I’ve always been fascinated with this notion of the perfect mom. She doesn’t exist and if you think back, June wasn’t that perfect. She had many days when she didn’t know what to do with the Beav.

Florida Evans-Good Times

Damn! Damn! Damn! This lady was the perfect urban mom. Related to her children but was strict when it counted.

Lois-Malcolm in the Middle

She’s crazy, vindictive and intuitive. I adore her. Plus she’s on top of her kid’s crap.

What TV parent would you pattern your real-life parenting skills after?

Move Over Kelly Clarkson

2007-08-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

Since my commute to work can be tedious and boring, I find all kinds of ways to entertain myself. One of those is to watch my fellow commuters. Are they plucking their nose hairs? Reading the paper? Picking their nose? All of this entertains me but the most rewarding is the driver who seems to be performing in their own music video complete with closed eyes and waving hands and fingers. I love that.

Last week, a 40-something blonde with a Carol Brady shag was working it out. She was singing with such conviction, I had to know what she was listening to. So I started the radio scan and found her inspiration in Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Home girl WAS the American Idol that morning.

Naturally, I started thinking about my own car singing. I’ve been known to get down on some Stevie Wonder or the Dreamgirls soundtrack. I love the sense of abandonment that comes with singing in your car or shower. You don’t care who hears you because you are Mariah Carey in your mind. Singing live from Madison Square Garden. For just that moment you’re the celebrity minus the big paycheck and inappropriate lover. I put on my shades and slip into another persona.

It’s natural in this day of celebrity worship to have a keen fantasy life. How else do you explain all of the men in tight T-shirts and overly frosted locks? With that said, here are few of my car singing favorites:

Journey

I can sing almost any Journey song all the way through. I’m partial to Lights and that monumental 80s soft rock classic Open Arms.

Bonnie Raitt- Something to Talk About

I’m not sure I know all the words to this song but I love belting what I do know. The lyrics are flirty and fun.

Madonna-Into the Groove

This may be her most playful song and was long before she started talking with an affected British accent and adopting African boys. I sing this and I’m in junior high again with teased hair in a banana clip and way too many accessories.

Grease soundtrack

I can sing every song on this album (am I dating myself there?). And if you go to my parent’s basement in Ohio, you’ll find the original album along with Footloose and Xanadu soundtracks. Yikes!

What songs make you boogie in the car?

Missed Notes

2007-08-20T10:51:00.000-05:00

You know I fancy myself a musical junkie. I’ve written of my admiration and cult-like following of Rent and the Dreamgirls soundtrack but I seem to missing something when it comes to the pop culture phenomenon of High School Musical. I tried watching the first one but couldn’t relate. So naturally, I tried it again with HSM2 but nothing. I flipped after 2 minutes.

I like cheesy corny musicals and teenybopper movies but HSM is over my head. I just found out that it was a movie and not a TV series. I really had no clue. I recently celebrated my goddaughter’s 10th birthday with dozens of hysterical tweens, loads of sugary ice cream and an hour of HSM reenactments. The budding musical majors knew all the words and choreography. I felt like my mother at that Menudo concert back in ’86. Clueless.

To make me feel even more out of it, the parents and a few stray college students knew the lyrics. I was just getting used to the idea of Hannah Montana. Now I have to contend with Gabrielle and Sharpay. What the hell is a Sharpay? Plus resident hottie Zac Efron is a bit feminine for me but hey I thought Duran Duran was the height of manliness witht their glistening lip gloss.

Now that I’ve admitted my deep dark secret of not getting HSM, I’ll admit that the marketing is genius. They float the lyrics to the songs on the bottom of the screen making it mandatory to buy the soundtrack. The cast of 17-23 year olds caters to a wide cross section of viewers. It’s a diverse cast so every child sees themselves in one character. Brilliant! I just wish the songs weren’t so awful but who am I to talk I like Let’s Bowl Tonight from that monster stinker Grease 2. Don’t even get me started on Cool Rider.

Maybe I’m just too old or shall I say. The Real World now repulses me. I no longer think a Mardi Gras visit would be fun. Who knows? I don’t have to be in on every trend. I mean I let tube tops and Bermuda shorts pass me by but I’m usually hip to the musicals.

Have I missed the boat? What do you think of HSM?

The Rose Tattoo

2007-08-16T08:29:00.000-05:00

After weeks of watching the intriguing previews for LA Ink, I finally took the bait and watched the show. I wasn’t a fan of Miami Ink. I caught a marathon of what must have been the second season and was instantly bored to tears. The fascinating part of MI was Kat (resident babe), the zany tattoo hungry customers and the actual art of tattooing. The artists were pretty mundane in personality but their art was interesting. Face it. You can only take so much of people trying to explain the meaning behind their scull and cross bones tattoo.

So why did I attempt LAI? Kat Von D. Even her name is theatrical. Don’t get me wrong. She’s not the most exciting person but her persona is interesting. She’s a colorful blend of pin up girl, tattooed lady and rocker. She and her friends represent a new wave of beauty that’s edgy, feminine but tough. Full tattoo sleeves mixed with Veronica Lake hairdos.

Well, LAI isn’t very interesting. Much of the same from MI. But at least Kat and her friends made me think about the changing face of beauty. I love the vivid colors and imagery of her ink art but have to ask, “What happens if she decides this isn’t her look anymore?” It’s a look that can be carried into your 40s and 50s but as my mom reminded me when I got my tatoos, what looks cute at 20 may not look good at 60. But what does?

Oh yea, here’s another personal tidbit. I have two tattoos. A sun burst on my left breast and three tiny (and typical) butterflies with my signature on the side of my right thigh. I’d like to say that the butterflies represent freedom but I wasn’t that deep at 22. It was a small act of rebellion that can be covered up by even the shortest shorts. I don’t think I’d have the guts or the pain tolerance to get a full sleeve tattoo but that’s just me.

So, I’m thinking whose personal style do I admire but couldn’t and wouldn’t in a million years try to mimic.

Dita Von Teese

Kat must worship at the alter of this neo-burlesque queen. Even their names are similar. With alabaster skin and impeccable attention to detail. Dita brings a modern edge to 40s style pin up fashion.

Pink

I love her punky tomboy quality. It’s natural for her boyish physique and spiky crew cut. She mixes her androgyny with feminine make up and perfectly coiffed hair.

Kimora Lee

You have to admire her over-the-top drag queen style. She’s glitzy and shimmered to perfection and she’s 10 feet tall. Her diva attitude adds to her tranny chic.

What celebrity has killer style that you admire but couldn’t pull off?

Don't Mess with Hef!

2007-08-13T10:55:00.000-05:00

You know how I feel about Hugh Hefner. Don’t mess with my man. I’m constantly defending my admiration for the old coot. And yes, I still want to stay at the Mansion. I wonder if he provides day care. I was ticked to read Page Six this morning and see that Girls Gone Wild slime ball Joe Francis was pissed at Hef for not backing him up on his shameless exploitation of young drunk women at their most vulnerable moments. I won’t even get into the fact that he’s made loads of money and is so greedy and slick that he’s trying to get over on the government. There’s enough money for everyone. That’s another story.

It seems Francis is upset because Hef hasn’t come forward to defend him and even distanced himself from the young mogul on a recent Larry King Live. I don’t blame him. I would too. There is no comparison between nudie pictures with consenting adults and taping girls during Spring Break or Mardi Gras when they are drunk/high and out of their minds. It’s a clever idea but you can’t say it’s not exploiting young ladies. It ain’t exactly Masterpiece Theatre. Sure, there is a lesson for girls out there. Don’t get so wasted that you can’t control your actions and there are other ways to show you’re beautiful.

Francis wants to liken his operation to Hustler and Playboy, which is ridiculous. These magazines were battling pornography charges and pushing the boundaries of what is considered decent. No matter how you feel about these publications; it should be noted that the people participate on their own accord.It is interesting that Playboy faced a similar issue with underage girls at a wet T-shirt contest. The lesson there is carefully scrutinize I.D.s and beware of underage girls at special events.

Should Hef have his back?

2007-08-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

You know how you see a preview of a movie and remain unimpressed. Especially when other movies are released about a similar topic. If you’re a regular reader, you’ll remember that was my reaction to The Prestige and The Illusionist. While I still have to watch my TiVo’d Illusionist, I did see TP.

Must say it wasn’t that bad. The constant twists and turns become a bit annoying after the first hour but it keeps you interested and slightly intrigued. TP is about rival magicians Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden (Christian Bale). The film examines the lengths they will go to in order to perform the perfect unforgettable magic trick. The ending reminded me of the Twilight Zone. Michael Caine takes an interesting turn as their mentor Cutter. Scarlett Johansson was thrown in for her obligatory bombshell role. Nothing new there. Look for a major rock pioneer where you least expect him.

Halfway through the movie I couldn’t help but think Wolverine was battling Batman. Strange but that’s the way my brain meandered. I also started thinking about films with similar subject and how one usually outshines the other.

Here’s a look at my choices:

Apocalypse Now vs. Platoon

I saw both of these films years ago but the images and sounds of AN are haunting and have stayed with me. I can’t remember that much from the other film. AP is the quintessential Vietnam movie.

The Godfather vs. Goodfellas

I give my nod to the classic glimpse into old school organized crime organizations. I really like Goodfellas but keep coming back to the original Godfather Marlon Brando. It has created some of the best phrases in pop culture.

The Exorcist vs. The Omen

Both freaked me out but I think Damien wins. The menacing nature and pure creepiness of the mood of the film freaks me out.

The Serpent and the Rainbow vs. Angel Heart

I usually don’t watch movies about the devil or voodoo because they get under my skin and I believe in those entities. Not believe as in I worship Satan but more like I think that shit can happen. SATR was an even film with an interesting story. AH was a bit disjointed and gratuitous at time.

Reservoir Dogs and The Usual Suspects

I have to side with RD here. It was provocative and thrilling. TUS was great with a big bang ending but it took you a while to get there.

What other comparisons would you add to this list?

Shameless Plug

2007-08-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

I almost decided not to touch this topic but couldn’t resist. My mother called me the other day with a hint of glee in her voice. Like she was going to drop some bombshell news on me. She proceeded to tell me that Star Jones had come forward with the UN-shocking news that she indeed had gastric bypass surgery and not medical intervention as she had been spinning it for years.

I gave my mother the same tirade I’m about to lay on you. Jones is a transparent media whore. She had been denying surgery for years. Perhaps, after all those years of claiming to love her larger figure and being an inspiration to big girls everywhere, she felt like a fraud by having the procedure. Maybe she never cared about her size until she got a man (as closeted as he may be). Maybe she was intensely private. Maybe she was embarrassed. Maybe she had a health scare.

All of these may be factors but the truth is she’s only coming forward with this news because her career is in the crapper and she pimping her new CourtTV talk show. Why else would she choose this time to reveal this secret? Seems suspect to me. Not to mention the Glamour Magazine article. She chose this opportunity to reveal something personal in order to sell herself. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised by the women her sold sponsorships to her over-the-top wedding.

In reality, the best role models show their imperfections. They don’t lie about them. It would have been a classy move for her to come clean on why she had the surgery. Health issues? Personal reasons? Time for change? Want to wear a tube top? It would have been more honest and helpful to the women that looked up to her.

What were your thoughts on the grand revelation?

I'm Baack!!

2007-08-06T10:58:00.000-05:00

And with a confession. I know you’ve wondered why I’ve dropped out of the blog world for the last month. So, I’m breaking one of my personal blogging rules about revealing too much of my personal life, after all I blog pop culture. No one cares about my personal life. So here goes!

I’m PREGNANT. Eighteen weeks now. A few weeks ago my doctor told me to slow down and put me on bed rest. I’m happy to say I feel much better and baby is thriving. I don’t know the sex yet since the baby wouldn’t open its legs on the last ultra sound, which is perfect if it’s a girl.

With that said, it’s great comfort too get back in some sort of routine and get back to writing, which has always been therapeutic for me. The best thing about being forced to kick back and relax is all the self-introspection and guilt free hours of watching television.

Naturally, I have new loves in TV programming. Here’s a list of what struck my fancy:

Scott Baio is Single… and 45

Boy, who knew Chachi was such a prick? He’s a serial womanizer who sees marriage as death. Unlike ladies men like Hugh Hefner, Charles (in Charge) can’t seem to end a relationship on good terms with any woman. I adore and applaud his candor in speaking about his past. I also like that his work with the life coach forces him to rehash past relationships in personal. Very humbling. Brilliant!

Anthony Bourdain- No Reservations

I have been a cooking show junkie for the past months but this show is outrageous. Driven by the dry and often drunken wit of author/chef Bourdain, the program showcases his gastric escapades in exotic and not so exotic locales worldwide. He prides himself in eating like a local, which means spicy noodles in Korea, chewy rat in Ghana or fried pork in Puerto Rico. He’s down for what ever!

The Judge Shows

Daytime television has gotten away from talk and game shows and is heavy on legal programs. There are too many to mention, though Judge Mathis is a riot. I love the clueless nature of the plaintiff and defendants as well as the biting sarcasim of the judges.

Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares

British chef Gordon Ramsey is a straight up trip for me. They have to bleep him so much you can barely understand what he’s saying. HK is an exercise in patience and tolerance. The chef’s aren’t extremely creative or talented. All they have to do is survive dinner service and the chef. I’ve personally felt let down since Waffle House cook Julie was let go. KN is on my new favorite BBC America. Ramsey spreads his special charms to struggling restaurants that call in for his help in revamping their establishments.

Footballers Wives

This is Britain’s answer to Dynasty. Bitchy women, tons of heavy eye shadow and sparkly little dresses. I love it. Soccer wives are the equivalence to rock star wives. Flashy and trashy. Great TV!

What are you watching these days?

Finally, A Good Film

2007-07-06T09:09:00.000-05:00

I saw an excellent movie last night that captivated my imagination and actually made Jose hold his pee until he thought he’d burst. We finally saw Pan’s Labyrinth. Now I know what all the fuss was about. Not only was it imaginative, colorful and expressive; it also held many messages. I believe in the fantasy world of tiny Ofelia because quite frankly if I hadn’t; I’d be an emotional wreck today.

PL is the story of Ofelia (Ivana Baquero) and her mother Carmen (Ariadna Gil) surviving in fascist 1944 Spain. They just moved to live with Ofelia’s fascist stepfather Captain Vidal (Sergi Lopez) aka Crazy Malicious Psycho. The Captain has moved his expecting wife to the countryside to deliver their son as he battles rebels in the woods. Ofelia’s rich fantasy life allows her to escape the horrors of her daily life.

I won’t give away anymore but let me say it’s gritty violent real-life contrasts with the surreal fantasy life. I was enthralled through the entire film. Guillermo del Toro crafted a lovely film that keeps you wanting more and wondering what he will do next. I love the fact that he did it in Spanish proving that people love exquisite movies based on content not language. Young Baquero was a wonder as Ofelia, our hero. Lopez was despicable as the sadistic Captain. Extremely sinister. Go see this film!!

Here’s a quick look at the headlines that have me scratching my head:

Nicole Richie in the Family Way

I keep reading this, which has me believing it may be true. I’m amazed that her frail body can harbor a baby. I wish her nothing but health if she is pregnant. Another thing that had me perplexed was the father, her boyfriend of a few months. He earlier string of beaus have to be breathing a sigh of relief. If she had a kid with DJ A.M., I wouldn’t have been surprised but this one threw me for a loop.

Me Likey

The Sex and the City film is a go. I’m thrilled. I just ask one thing of the writers and directors. Don’t fuck it up. This is a beloved TV program that is part of the pop culture lexicon. Don’t fuck it up. Give us real plots with real motives. Not twisted plot devices to propel the film forward. Don’t fuck it up.

What are you thinking about today?

Oh Say Can You See!

2007-07-03T11:07:00.000-05:00

Yes, the birth of our nation. July 4th. For me, Independence Day is a colorful mix of mosquitoes, hot dogs, fireworks and parades. As a child, I was much more impressed with the flashy side of July 4th but as I get older, I appreciate the meaning behind the festivities.

I thought it only fitting to examine the top 8 reasons why I love America. Here it goes:

Fast Food
In particular Taco Bell and Arby’s. I appreciate the fact that as Americans we are so busy that we eat in our cars out of greasy paper bags. It’s not the healthiest way to eat but it sure is exciting and dangerous.

Pop Music
Sure the foundation of American music is jazz, bluegrass and blues but combine the influences together and you get redheaded step child pop music. The Brits give us a run for our money but Americans love and support their popular music. We’re known for it.

Pursuit of Happiness
My dad is a firm believer that anything is possible in this country. I love the fantasy (that becomes reality) of the American dream. It’s evident by all the newcomers to the country. Where else can you have a cell phone, apartment and car within months of your arrival? Only in America my friends!

Hip Hop Culture
I adore the fact that the world has embraced hip-hop culture. You can call it thug life, prison mentality or ghetto but nothing categorizes the movement. It’s different things for different people. Watching white suburban moms and kids as well as Japanese teens embrace hip-hop is amazing.

Shopping Malls
Who was the brilliant mind behind putting hundreds of shops and restaurants under one roof? I’d like to shake their hand. It’s a truly magnificent feat that allowed a small town Ohio girl like myself to enjoy what would have been a tired existence in the boonies.

Diversity of America
I love that every state has its’ own flavor. The inhabitants are from different countries and managed to integrate their history and culture in that place. Love it!

Celebrity Worship
I’m glad I’m not the only pop culture student in the country. I find solace in knowing that I’m not the only one who wants to see pictures of celebrities without makeup. We sometimes take it too far but it speaks to our idolization with Hollywood and the rich.

Freedom of Speech
All hail the country that allows me to put my opinions on the Internet and allows others to respond honestly. I revel in the ability to say that Jennifer Anniston is talentless and Tom Cruise is a maniac. I cherish that gift and am forever grateful.

Happy Birthday America!

What's in your top 3?

I Went Down to the Crossroads

2007-07-02T09:52:00.000-05:00

As evidenced by past blogs, I watch an abundance of television. It may not be all my favorites but I fancy myself diverse enough to enjoy all types of programming. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before a little gem on Country Music Television called Crossroads. That’s right CMT. I like watching the videos, though my country tastes are more classic (Loretta Lynn, Patsy Cline and Tammy Wynette) along with the Dixie Chicks.

Crossroads pairs rock/pop groups and vocalists with country superstars. This weekend saw Kelly Clarkson crooning with Reba McEntire. First, let me say this was a surprising pairing. Not because Kelly likes country music or idolizes Reba but that she was so young. It was pretty good. But Reba dancing her swinging 60s moves to Since You Been Gone was frightful. May she never do that again. Kelly was a natural at harmonizing on Reba’s songs. They were no James Taylor with the Dixie Chicks or Wynona with Heart but it was certainly entertaining.

So, my brain starts racing. Who would I put together for Crossroads? Here’s what I came up with.

Amy Winehouse and Tanya Tucker

The two broads could get together drink/smoke and sing their hits. AW could talk about not going to rehab and TT could lament about her rehab days. The concert could culminate with an intervention for AW. The country set may not know AW but her attitude and range would be great for TT.

Shania Twain and Celine Dion

Yes, it would be annoying but the Divas (in their own genre) could see who could out do the other. Hands down CD would run off with the show. She always does. What else does she have to do since she left Vegas? Shania’s been incognito in Switzerland. The wonder twins need to unite in the form of a power ballad singing team with a twang. CD could come up with some designer diamond-studded cowboy gear with matching boots.

Tim McGraw and Mariah Carey

Faith Hill’s not the only attractive singer. Mariah and Tim could come together and form a stunning dynamic duo. TM has a bunch of duets that would work and MC loves the company of hot men. It could work.

Who would you smash up on Crossroads?

Straight Up!

2007-06-29T10:16:00.000-05:00

I’ve never been so ready for a weekend; I hardly know what to do. The rain continues though I haven’t experienced any more mudslides and summer television has me bored senseless. At least there was something interesting on TV last night. By interesting, I mean the train wreck that is Paula Abdul.

You know it honies! I watched the first two episodes of the exploitive Hey Paula on Bravo. J and I decided that we are gluttons for punishment after subjecting ourselves to the second episode after vowing not to. We thought it was too embarrassing. Hey Paula is the next Being Bobby Brown or the Anna Nicole Show. Paula is a freak show and her show takes the circus on the road and the little screen.

What amazes me most about these types of shows is the subjects’ willing participation. They honestly think they are clearing up perceptions and telling their story. However, they must not view the show because what airs is a hot mess. I’m reminded of Britney and K.Fed’s attempt at reality television. Good God!

Paula comes off flightly and boozy from the first scene. Her coordination and body awareness is suspect. Her speech is slurred and often incoherent. Her judgment is definitely impaired. Who allows their army of tiny pooches to prance all over a bed covered in priceless jewelry? No wonder one of her dog nearly chocked on a diamond ring. She and her publicist attribute this to lack of sleep.

I can understand this irritating an existing problem but can’t be the cause of all of this. Sadly, watching her beg for money at Starbucks or open her suitcase at the entrance of the airport in search of comfortable jeans was unfortunate. Not only is she having some sort of behavioral problem, she is surrounded by incompetent assistants who seem incapable of packing the appropriate clothes or making sure that she has something to eat before a public appearance. She definitely doesn’t have the right people around her.

J stands by the statement that all celebrities fly the freak flag, which I agree with to some degree but there has to be more. We know they are indulged and therefore exist in this fantasyland that caters to their whims and peculiar tastes but in some cases I just feel great empathy for some. They’ve stopped being amusing and are now tragic.

With my public and media relations background, I can’t help but think who could benefit from my fantastic spin and strict words of wisdom. Here are a few celebrities that I’d love to turn around:

Tara Reid

Homegirl simply needs cut back on the booze, get an acting job and wear a bra. That’s the first thing I’d do. Her sloppy trailer park Barbie persona belies what is underneath. I’d find the talented actress in her and exploit the hell out of that.

Nicole Kidman

First order of business is to retrieve whatever is lodged up her ass. Then I’d put an end to whatever is freezing her damn face. She’s got the talent and looks. She just needs to loosen up and find her personality.

Isaiah Washington

I’d put a large piece of tape on his mouth and try to find him a job as soon as possible before he alienates an entire industry. I stood up for him in the past but know he needs to show some dignity and shut the hell up. You didn’t get fired because you’re black. You obviously didn’t get fired because of homophobic slurs. Looks like you got fired for your obnoxious personality.

What did you think of the show? What celebrity could benefit from your help?

Spice World Revisited

2007-06-28T10:10:00.000-05:00

Yeah, the Spice Girls are reuniting. I can now die in peace. Actually, I liked the SGs back in the day. Not in the way I worship Sade or James Taylor but they were cheeky and campy, which always counts for something. They were bubbling, colorful and had head-bobbing tunes. I thought Scary and Sporty had the most flava, Baby was boring, Posh was bitchy and Ginger was slutty. They had something for everyone.

While this reunion does nothing for me, it got me thinking. What band or group would I like to see together again? The Police and Genesis have already been taken off my list. Besides the obvious Beatles (or what remains) get together, the prospect of these reunions give me joy.

Journey

Steve Perry’s huge nose and grand voice made this band. Yes, they sang cheesy love songs. Yes, they burned out in the 80s but dammit I’d love to see them in concert. I just heard a rumor that the reason they broke up was because Perry nailed all his band mates’ wives and girlfriends. Interesting and slightly tragic if true but not a reason to not to get back together. One more time. Live. Please.

Wham!

This has the potential for big time comedy but I’d love to see George Michael and Andrew Ridgley get back together. I was a huge devotee of the band. Why else would I sport an oversized orange day-glo sweatshirt with huge writing and cropped jeans with matching orange socks? You could not tell me I wasn’t the bomb.

ABBA

Oh baby! I would travel the world for this reunion. They’re all alive and looking just as groovy as they did in 1974. They wouldn’t even need new songs. The old ones stand on their own.

New Kids on the Block

They still owe me from canceling an Ohio concert in 1987. I was heartbroken and never realized my dream of seeing my favorite boy band in concert. They owe me a reunion concert. Of course, we’d need to change the name a bit to reflect their aging.

Who would you like to see in a reunion concert?

I Loove That Song!

2007-06-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning to the sound of thunderous rain on my window. Miami tends to be a tumultuous destination in late June. Besides a muddy mishap on my way to the car, which left me knee deep in black soot with my skirt around my waist. It’s been a pretty good day. It improved greatly when I turned on the radio and was greeted with the melodious sounds of Broadway by George Benson.

I’ve written before about the time travel ability of music to transport you to another time. Certain songs will always remind me of 7th grade and take me back to a simpler time. Likewise, some songs take you to a dark movie theater where they were emblazoned on your brain. Every time I hear Broadway, I think of All That Jazz. You know the opening audition sequence stuffed with leotards, leg warmers and jazz hands.

With that said, here’s a look at other songs that deliver me to the theater:

Dream Weaver- Gary Wright

This song forever will remind me of Wayne’s World when Mike Myers first sees the gorgeous Tia Carrera. I’m sure this was used in a million movies but this is my strongest memory.

Tiny Dancer-Elton John

Along with being one of my favorite movies based on acting, directing and script, Almost Famous used amazing music. Cameron Crowe is a master of bringing scenes to life with music. Great music from the era brought this film to life.

Dueling Banjos-Eric Weissberg and Steve Mandel

Eerie, I know. Just saying it, creeps me out. From the movie Deliverance, this is one song that immediately takes to the middle of the wilderness and tells you to squeal like a pig. Oh my!

Smack My Bitch Up-The Prodigy

Every time I hear this song, I have visions of women kicking ass in high heels and slinging hair in the first installment of Charlie’s Angels. Lucy Liu, Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz make butt kicking look fun and slightly aerobic in nature.

What song transports you to the movies?

2007-06-26T09:05:00.000-05:00

I’m going to fess up to something that I’m not proud of. Over the past 10 months, I think we’ve grown closer. Therefore, I can make this confession without fear of judgment. I WATCHED AGE OF LOVE. There. I said it. Let the healing begin. It wasn’t my most profound 15-20 minutes but it was meaningful. Notice I didn’t make it through the entire show. I caught the replay of the first episode and thought in order to be an informed pop culture maven, I should watch a new show.

Big mistake. I had blogged earlier that this seemed like a dreadful idea and I was right. Age of Love made me uneasier than watching Being Bobby Brown and the Anna Nicole Show combined. My skin crawled, as he grew visibly unhinged that the women were all older than his 30 years. I will admit they selected an amazing group of older women. None of them had Jokeritis or bloated lips. They looked incredible and at first glance seemed to have their shit together. I was impressed, which made me more uncomfortable to see him squirm as they stated their age. Ouch!

Then I must have blacked out! The rest was a blur and I quickly switched the station. I’ve never considered myself a feminist (only a strong black woman) but this show sets women back. It’s feeding this new stereotype (okay not so new-The Graduate did it back in the 60s) of older women as predators. We now call them Cougars. Even that sounds dangerous.

What’s the use of women looking better and feeling better about themselves if they will eventually be labeled predatory? Out to rip young men apart with their ticking biological clocks, loose morals and extreme desperation. I may be overstating my case but the show was horrible and I haven’t even gotten to the unveiling of the 20-somethings. They were all tarted up and ready for some action. I’m sure their part will reveal them as equally desperate.

Networks seem incapable of depicting women on these dating shows in any real sense. The women selected are devious, trampy or emotionally unhinged. Granted I’ve run into some of these ladies but their must be one TV executive who is willing to cast real women on these dating shows.

What are your thoughts on Age of Love?

Summertime and the Living is Easy

2007-06-22T08:29:00.000-05:00

To commemorate the first day of summer which was yesterday. I’d like to give a loving tribute to the dog days of summer. As a wee child growing up in Ohio, my fondest memories are summertime. A colorful blend of lemonade, popsicles, fireflies and hide and seek. Over the years, other smells, sounds and tastes have entered my summer lexicon. Naturally, a lot of the memories are informed by pop culture but even more by personal tastes.

Here’s a sweet homage to music and movies that remind me of great summer memories:

Summertime - Will Smith

This is one of my favorite summer songs. I love the way he revels in a typical summer day that culminates in a cook out. That’s the way summer was for me. Going to the mall, buying an outfit and wearing it out that night. Plus he adds his goofy spin on the rap and the video. Classic Fresh Prince.

Cruel Summer-Bananarama

I’ve written about this before. How this song tapped into whatever little angst my mom would allow me to have. It’s a playful tune that still takes me back to junior high.

Blue Crush- 2002

I know it’s a fluffy chick flick but how much fun is it to watch. It makes you want to go to Hawaii and be a bad ass surfer. It also makes you want to be young, wild and free but that’s a story for another time.

Dirty Dancing- 1987

This movie makes me long for a summer in Catskills and a hunky slightly greasy man cake to teach me the mambo. This is a perfect summer movie.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off- 1986

I told myself that for Senior skip Day I was going to travel to Pittsburgh for a Ferris Bueller adventure. Flash forward three years. I was in school being the dutiful student but longing for the FB experience.

What are your favorite summertime memories?

Should I give a shit?

2007-06-20T09:26:00.000-05:00

After my somewhat perverse interest in the Academy, it may come as some surprise that today I’m talking about useless celebrity stories and that’s useless according to me. You know I’m the great purveyor of pop culture. I get that slight to extreme interest in celebrity. What they’re eating, wearing and sexing up? However, as someone who indulges in celebrity chatter, it’s disappointing to see some trivial stories hyped up on what must be a slow news day. I know the media tries to create stories along with villains and heroes. I’m not that naïve.

But what do I care about Katie’s new hairdo or if she’s pregnant again. I stopped caring about that 6 months before she married the train wreck that is Tom Cruise. Is it still news? Are they doing anything meaningful besides jet setting with their freaky new BFF-Victoria. Let it go. I don’t want to hear anything else on this lackluster duo until they divorce, write tell-all books or disclose the true paternity of tiny Suri. I don’t think I even want to see them on the big screen. Enough!$%&

Who gives a rat’s ass if Rosie is friends with Elisabeth? I find it more startling that Elisabeth is still talking about this and is surprised to find out that Rosie never considered her a friend. C’mon. Is it the pregnancy hormones? When did she ever feel like Rosie was her grand confidant? Even more disappointing is their inability to shut their mouths on the issue. Instead of giving the blanket “She’s a great gal and I wish her well. No hard feelings,” we continue to get in depth explanations of their relationship. Call Dr. Phil. Enough!!

Victoria Beckham. Besides a keen eye for fashion, why is the media following her boney ass around the world. I don’t understand why they are trying to make her a superstar. If she did something (sing, dance, make sex tapes), I could understand the interest. They need to be following her fine ass husband around. Now that’s a superstar (with a tight ass).

What celebrity stories have you screaming this week?

How does this work?

2007-06-19T08:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, I’ve never thought about this before. I’m so enthralled with films, actors, directors and the occasional writer. I live for awards season and take immeasurable pride in winning the office Oscar pool. It’s just the way I’m built. I’ve grown accustomed to it. But I’ve never thought about in the individuals that make up the Academy. I know there are representatives from all aspects of film not only actors.

The running gag is that they are a bunch of old fuddy duddies that vote for their aging peers and don’t appreciate groundbreaking filmmaking. Which brings me to my point today. I just saw a list of the newly inducted members. Check it here. I paid special attention to the actor inductees. Some were expected, some were welcoming and others were disappointing.

I like the fact that Adriana Barraza, Daniel Craig, Aaron Eckhart, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Ryan Gosling were selected. It was hard to imagine that Christopher Plummer was just inducted along with Eddie Murphy. Now if Eddie is just getting nominated after all these years and films, explain why Jennifer Aniston is being inducted. Besides my usual inexplicable dislike for her was her work in The Break Up that career defining. Granted she’s had excellent turns in Friends with Money and The Good Girl but so soon.

You know I loved Dreamgirls but Jennifer Hudson. It might be automatic that if you win, you get an invite. I’m not hating but I stand by my prediction that she will never to another movie or be doomed to play the big sassy girl who can sing. I hope this isn’t the case but I feel especially pissy today.

What are your thoughts on the inductees?

We are the World

2007-06-18T14:50:00.000-05:00

After a lackluster and positively soaking wet weekend in the Magic City, it was a pleasure to dip into my usual weekday reading. I was looking through USA Today this morning when I saw an article about the Top 25 Musical Milestones of the last 25 years. You know I live for this shit. My mind works brilliantly with top 10, 25 and 100s. It’s especially gratifying when someone else comes up with the list and I get to knit pick.

This top 25 includes everything from Napster to N’Sync. I have to admit they did a great job compiling the list. I was surprised Madonna wasn’t higher than #16. The #18 placement of George Harrison’s death was an embarrassment of marketing and public opinion. I probably wouldn’t have put it on the list. Woodstock 99’ was definitely tragic milestone fueled by greed and big company branding.

A lot of the individuals listed could probably be lumped with other artists. For sure N’Sync could have been couple with Britney Spears since both were record-breaking pop acts. Eminem should share billing with multiple rappers who took the charts by storm.

The biggest omission for me was “We are the World” which along with Live Aid heralded in a new wave of political and humanitarian activism in pop culture. Every thing changed with the release of that record. The clever marketing and branding brains learned that they could entertain people and raise money for the burgeoning field of charities.

After looking at the list, what do you think is missing?

As the World Churns

2007-06-15T08:50:00.000-05:00

Sorry to do this but I have to speak on fragile Paris Hilton and her jail stint. It was a shock felt around the world when the party girl was sentenced to jail time. Whether we see her relevance or not, Paris is a pop culture icon thus making this a big story. There’s no doubt that the legal system is sending a clear message to Hollywood celebrities and using Paris as a textbook example. And I don’t have a problem with it. I’m sure Nicole Richie and other legally challenged starlets and himbos are shaking in their designer shoes.

The legion of young clueless women who worship at the Paris alter are probably stunned. The hope would be an “a ha” moment will wakes them up and realize that there is more to life than trendy nightclubs, hot guys and Marchesa dresses. Marginal talent and youth can only take you so far. An education and common sense will never leave you.

This will definitely be a turning point for Ms. Hilton. It’s obvious that her health, most likely her mental health, has been effected by her incarceration. She’s obviously getting special treatment with her family allowed to cut the long lines and visit longer that usual. Will public resentment rupture her image? She told Barbra Walters that she won’t be playing dumb anymore but isn’t that part of her act. Will she be able to step aside from her vapid persona and present a mature woman who has done time in the pen? We’ll see.

In the wake of the Paris jail watch, there are some young Hollywood types that are great role models. They are proving that it’s hot to be talented, hard working and smart.

Mandy Moore

She was part of the blond teen queen invasion with fellow classmates Britney, Christina and Jessica. Her singing career may be on the back burner but she’s shown a sparkle on the big screen. She’s not afraid to have a little meat on her bones or play the girl next door. Her romances have been well documented but haven’t become her claim to fame. Young girls could learn a lot from her.

Natalie Portman

She’s as cute as a button, Ivy League educated and a budding style icon. Even when she’s playing a saucy stripper, she brings intelligence to the role. It takes guts to shave your head for a role.

Julia Stiles

Here’s another girl that has matured in front of our eyes. Her Kewpie doll good looks brought life to the off beat 10 Things I Hate About You. She’s grown as an actress but I’m still waiting for her big break through role. Meanwhile, she’s college educated and starting to direct.

Who else is should replace Paris Hilton as a role model?

I Forgive You

2007-06-12T10:36:00.001-05:00

I started to blog this Friday when it first came to my attention but my hectic schedule prevented me from writing. I’m referring to the startling announcement that Isaiah Washington was fired from Grey’s Anatomy. The producers have put a creative spin on it but it boils down to disaster for the highly rated drama.

Washington’s exit is troubling on two fronts. First, is the theme of redemption. We all know he was a dimwitted homophobe to call a co-worker the f-word but after you’ve asked for forgiveness and made amends including PSAs, how do you redeem yourself. It seems incredibly judgmental and self-indulgent to not move on. Who knows? There may be more to the story.

Pop culture dictates a special fickleness. We love your movies; therefore we will forgive the fact that you cheat on your wife. We adore your music; therefore we will forgive the fact that you perform sexual acts on underage girls. However, you’ve produced some of the best movies of all time but we can’t forgive your drinking and drug problem. We simply choose to forgive what we feel like forgiving. The idea of forgiveness is subjective.

On another level, his absence leaves a big hole in another character. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) will be hard pressed to find another man that will bring out her tender side and stand up to her tough exterior. The show spent a lot of time setting up Burke as her perfect partner. Who will be able to match her moxie? It’s enough to overcome the debacle that is Izzie sleeping with George. Now we are to belief that Burke was all-wrong for Yang. It was hard enough to belief that he would back her into that huge wedding.

The writers of Grey’s Anatomy are crafty. Let’s just hope they can write themselves out of this void.

What are your thoughts? Great move or bad major mistake?

Goodbye Boda Bing!

2007-06-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

Well, it’s already happened. I’ve had several debriefings on The Sopranos finale. It worked. The writers and producers managed to end the show in true Sopranos style with lots of questions and open ends. J was disappointed from the very beginning. Why was it only an hour long? Will Paulie turn on Tony? Are they going to waste the entire show with this? I’m sure he’s not alone in his criticism.

We’re used to the grand Godfather endings where multiple people meet their grisly demise at the same time while classical music plays over the actions. But The Sopranos stayed true to its macabre and cerebral leanings. The show has been known to spend a lot of time on what seems like trivial action. Remember the endless dream sequences while Tony was in the coma. I personally felt like the writers were putting a mind fuck on us. The last five minutes were painful. Is Meadow that useless that she can’t park?

I liked the ending. It did what it was supposed to do. We know Tony survived and Phil died in what was the best whacking in Sopranos history. Brilliant! You knew he was dead as soon as was playing with the grandkids. I threw my hands up in victory when the gun appeared near his head. Getting his head squashed and making the bystander throw up was the cherry on the top.

Tony coming to term with his crazy family was another piece of closure. His sister is a raging bitch. He did the right thing by seeing her but realized when it was time to walk away. His visit to Uncle Junior had me on edge. My paranoid thoughts made me think he would turn on Tony. Instead it was a sad ending to a tough little man. Tony even came to terms with the fact that AJ is to the Soprano family what Fredo was to the Corleones. The weak link.

The cat. What was the significance of the staring cat? I think it was Adrianna. I know that’s a bit mystical for the Diva but I think it was someone they knew. It could be Christopher. And the Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” at the end. I think it was very telling. They want to keep the mystique alive long enough for a movie.

With that said, I took a look at other finales that got it right.

The Wonder Years

After years of watching the adorable Kevin Arnold spin tales of his childhood, it was bittersweet to see it end. The writers cleverly wrapped up the show by telling the future of the character. It was sad to hear his father died and they he remained only friends with sweetheart Winnie.

Six Feet Under

I stopped watching this show in the second season but felt compelled to watch the finale. It took the same approach as the Wonder Years but took it a step forward. We saw their lives evolve and the moments of the deaths. For some reason I cried during the entire ending.

Sex and the City

I liked this one the best because it had the great declaration of love we had waited for. We found out Big’s name and each woman saw closure and growth in their character. My favorite was brassy Miranda who found compassion for family.

What was your favorite series finale?

Oh Look, There is ...

2007-06-07T13:18:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it’s not really my best story but I have to share with someone. I was doing my usual PR thing (talking a nervous guest off the ledge) at a local TV station yesterday morning. I was chatting away when I looked across the room and saw … Mo’Nique. To which I lost all cool points by pointing exclaiming her name and grinning. I wasn’t necessarily star struck as much as surprised. She is appearing at the Improv in Miami and was there to plug the performances.

Look, I had celebrity sightings before. I’ve seen Puerto Rican singer/actor Chayenne eating at a Brazilian steakhouse in town. There was that summer in NYC where I saw Gene Anthony Ray (Leroy) up close and personal while they were filming the Fame television series on the street. Am I dating myself or what? Then there was Billy Idol at the height of his hotness snarling his way through Greenwich Village in a leather vest. It didn’t help that my mother had no clue who he was.

As you may remember, I saw tiny Elijah Wood in NYC this past fall. Come to think of it, my best celebrity watching has been in NYC. But the best was in Miami a couple of years ago. While munching on brunch with J, I saw former Menudo Johnny. Yes, I stared. Not because he was still hot (everyone knows Robby Rosa was the greatest Menudo EVER), it was because I was 15 again (in my mind). I reframed from walking up to him because I’m chicken and what the hell would I say that wouldn’t make us both look old and foolish.

I will say that Mo’Nique was extremely polite saying hello and goodbye to all onlookers. She referred to all staffers by their name infused with lots of babies and darlings. She even took pictures with people afterward. There was no star behavior besides a small entourage that included a fabulous make up artist. She was funny and congenial on and off camera. I respected her down to earth demeanor. Hollywood seems to be filled with too many celebrities who take themselves way to seriously. When did Madonna become a Rhodes scholar?

So, tell me your celebrity encounters. Who was nice and who was a monster? Dish!

More Tuesday Musings

2007-06-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

Today has been a blur of images and thoughts. You know, my usual Tuesday. Here’s a look at what’s on my mind today.

Paris in the Slammer

Gotta give the girl credit; she went. I thought for sure she’d find a way to get out of it. In true Paris style, she checks into prison after attending the MTV Movie Awards. Talk about a really stupid reason for going to jail. Young Hollywood’s fascination with driving cars impaired often crashing them or being busted by cops is idiotic. If I had Paris Hilton’s money, I wouldn’t even think about driving especially after a rough night of partying. Someone would be driving Miss Diva. After seeing the paparazzi pounce at these nightclubs, it seems bubble headed to even want to run that gauntlet let alone while drunk.

Mother of the Year

E!, the bastion of quality programming, is signing Dina Lohan up for a reality show. No, it’s not on crappy parenting skills or cougars who like to party with their young daughters. It’s about her quest to turn her other children into stars. Because this has worked so great for rehabbing Lindsey (I’m dripping with sarcasm). Who the hell wants to watch this shit? I’ve read that delusional Dina calls herself the white Oprah. OKAY.

What’s on your mind today?

I Am woman Hear Me Roar

2007-06-04T09:41:00.000-05:00

The weekend was a delightful combination of relaxation and pampering. My good girlfriends took me out for some Sex and the City pedicures for my birthday complete with racy talk, sisterly pep talks and ice cream. Gloriously rich ice cream. I popped my cherry at Cold Stone. I had wanted to try it but never got the chance. Delicious. As far as my SATC fantasies, I fancy myself a quirky Carrie knowing that I’m way more Miranda with hints of Charlotte. Oh well. My other two companions are strictly Samantha and Miranda with a healthy dose of Samantha. They’ll have to sort out who’s who.

Pop culture likes to spark rivalry between women because, face it, it more salacious and interesting than women who genuinely care and root for each other. It’s more fun to think Paris hated Nicole or Denise is a raging bitch compared to innocent Heather. These images play out on a daily basis but the truth is that there is a sisterhood between women that goes far beyond lifestyle or breast envy. There is a shared experience that connects us all.

All of this female bonding and sisterly mentoring made me think of the great female bonding movies. Here are a few of my favorites:

Thelma and Louise (1991)

Yes, they kill themselves in the end but what a ride. Sisterhood, Brad Pitt, car chases, Brad’s butt, attitude and Brad’s abs. What a thrilling look at female relationships from two women that couldn’t be more different.

The Joy Luck Club (1993)

This is one of my favorite movies. The part with the morphine –filled stick buns gets me every time. This is an excellent movie for mothers, daughters and friends. Extremely underrated but worth adding to Netflix.

The Color Purple (1985)

I remember watching this at the theater and liking it but not really getting it. It’s only as I get older that the themes of empowerment and self-esteem bring new meaning. Oprah, at her big girl best, is a marvel as Sofia. The scene with Shug walking to the church dissolves me to tears.

Charlie’s Angels (2000)

This movie is sheer cotton candy confection. It’s light fun and fantastical. It taps into ever woman’s desire to look alluring and sexy while kicking some serious ass in high heel boots. Great fun! Even the sequel, which suck compared to the original, is fun.

What are your favorite movies about ladies that rock?

Chachi Loves Joanie and Sandy and Patty and Sara

2007-06-01T08:48:00.000-05:00

With the growing trend in celebrity or actually pseudo celebrity reality shows, it wasn’t surprising to see USA Today take a look at the upcoming onslaught of new shows. VH1 is banking on a Bret Michaels (yes, the former hunk of hair band Poison). I say former hunk because what was cute in 1988 is looking a little tired in 2007. From his insta-tan to his bleached stringy hair and trademark bandana; it’s a bit tragic. I can’t imagine he needs help getting chicks but obviously the idea of being in a mansion with 20 or so desperate ladies sounded appealing.

The best to come is Scott Baio is 45 … and Single on VH1. The title alone deserves an Emmy. The aging man whore is looking at his past to interpret why he has never married. They are going to interview ex-girlfriends. You know I’ll be all over that. Unfortunately, ABC in throwing their hat in the ring with Age of Love. You might have seen the previews for this in which 20-somethings and 40-somethings vie for the attention of a man. I can’t see this making it past a few episodes. It’s demeaning with shades of sadism. I’m not impressed. The Two Coreys on A & E will be worth a watch simply because I’m a child of the 80s. The Corey live together and learn together. How special.

In celebration of these spectacles in television viewing, I’ve compiled a list of the cream of the crop in celebrity television.

The Osbournes

Not only are they eccentric, liquor-soaked and vulgar, they also have snarky British accents. It was interesting following the logic and lives of this rock and roll brood. It also humanized Ozzy and showed as the shuffling and amusing old man that he is. With his hard living past, it a wonder can walk and feed himself. The Osbournes gave us hours and hours of TV gold.

Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica

I only watched the first season of this nightmare but it was apparent that Nick was way too down to earth for the indulged and sheltered Jessica. I could literally see him packing up his stuff when she didn’t understand that Chicken of the Sea is tuna. It was supposed to be a happy ending but turned into the beginning of the end of their marriage. Quite sad, really.

Being Bobby Brown/Breaking Bonaduce

These were the awkward shows where you knew you should turn it off but there’s something compelling about watching someone falling down especially a former child star with anger issues and a legendary singing diva with dependencies.

Flavor of Love

Would you kiss Flavor Flav for any amount of money? Hell no. Yet, the producers managed to find two seasons worth of skanks who were willing to put their lips on the line. Nasty. Though, it was great fun to mock the women.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-list

She may be a pain in the butt but I love her stories about run-ins with crazy celebrities. You can tell she’s as much a fan as we are. She knows how to spin a tale quite creatively. Love it!

What reality shows do you think are the best?

The Blah Factor

2007-05-31T09:00:00.000-05:00

I was perusing an article on Kevin Costner in USA Today this morning. I was about a paragraph into the article when it dawned on me, I don’t care what KC has to say. Not to take away from his contributions to cinema and pop culture. Bull Durham alone places him in some of the most memorable scenes in film history. Unfortunately, outside of his movie personas and even in some of his roles, he’s truly dull. Boring. Uninteresting. It’s not his fault.

Despite the obvious push and careful orchestrations by clever studio suits to build movie stars, the process can only go so far. And what do we care? To some degree we don’t care if KC doesn’t entertain us with his sharp wit or mesmerizing stories. We care that he brings energy to a movie. However, it becomes tough when certain celebs are shoved down our throat and touted by agents, directors, co-stars and others making money off them as unique individuals. Not everyone can have the charm of Clooney, earthy likeness of Julia or charity mindedness of Brangelina.

They may be brilliant in their profession but lack that certain something personally. Here are my picks for stars that personify the Blah Factor:

Katie Holmes

You would think her emergence into higher celebrity echelon would raise my curiosity level but she’s still as dull as when she was on Dawson’s Creek. At this point her experience and courtship with her couch-jumping hubby haven’t added any edge to bland little Katie. Though her style profile has gone through the roof. Work those shoes, honey.

Carrie Underwood

She’s a delicate songbird with the personality of wrapping paper. Even though she’s showing more gumption now than her tenure on American Idol, she still lacks that personal sparkle. She needs to sass it up a bit.

Tobey Maguire

He’s a great Spidey but even in his roles he has a Rain Man meets the Tin Man quality. He’s not the most fascinating person in young Hollywood. Unless you’re into robots.

Nicole Kidman

Good thing she’s an amazing actress because she seems to be very reserved in her private life. I thought it was the pressure of being Mrs. Cruise but it turns out she’s just extremely distant and remote in person. And I think she has the beginnings of Jokeritis. Her forehead refuses to move.

Who do you think as the Blah Factor?

I'm Still Standing

2007-05-30T14:16:00.000-05:00

Last night started my summer TV watching schedule, which besides the belated House season finale included Elton John’s birthday concert from Madison Square Garden taped earlier this spring. Yes, the bitch was back and performed in glamorous and decadent style for his 60th b-day. It was a celebrity-filled event with the likes of President Clinton, Robin Williams and Elizabeth Hurley. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Anne Hathaway rockin’ out with her girlfriends like it’s last call at the sorority house.

Elton sang all his favorites and was still dynamic without the glittery Donald Duck outfit and enormous eyeglasses. It was possibly more fun watching the drunken and rhythmically challenged concert-goers trying to get their groove on than the performance. The best part was the insightful and often amusing stories from close friends. Scissor Sisters members had a funny tale about the queen throwing a tantrum and them covering their faces in fear.

In honor of Elton’s birthday, I listed my favorite EJ songs. With so many selections, it was difficult to make a decision.

Philadelphia Freedom

As strange as this may sound, this is my favorite song. I adore the energy and vibrancy of the song. I can’t explain it!

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

How can you not love a duet with someone called Kiki Dee? One of my favorite duets ever. It’s right up there with Islands in the Stream and Endless Love.

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

It is the most beautifully poignant written songs of all time. Simplistic and stylish in the music. Brilliant!!

I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues

This make go back to the craptacular 80s video but I love this song. I dig the doo wop-esque vibe.

Your Song

Another powerful song lyrically. A favorite that crosses generations. A classic.

What’s your favorite EJ song?

Happy Birthday to Me!!

2007-05-29T08:47:00.000-05:00

Today is an important day in pop culture history. It marks the day in 1971 that the Pop Culture Diva was born. That’s right, my darlings, I’m 36 and proud of it. I figure if I own it, it becomes a celebration and cause to rejoice. I’m actually okay with being 36. I think people have problems with their age when they are not fulfilled personally. Since my life is a work in progress, I’m always looking a fulfilling my needs and finding joy. It’s working.

To commemorate this big day, I’ve decided to share my pearls of wisdom and nuggets of truth. Here’s what I know at 36:

Life is fleeting! Embrace it and don’t take it for granted. Buy that Gucci purse if you want it. (You know who you are.)

Brad Pitt is possibly the most beautiful man alive (outside of J, of course). Angelina better hold onto his ass and make more babies. Jennifer Anniston should kick herself everyday for letting him go.

Water, sleep, exercise and a good moisturizer are a girl’s best friend especially after age 30.

Reality television is a horrifically addictive trend that will eventually end just like all of those salacious talk shows that polluted daytime television in the 80s. Remember Richard Bey?

Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Richie are not role models. They are marginally talented and minimally interesting play things for the media.

The 80s has spawned some of the most prolific rock and pop music ever made. Not to mention the music videos.

It’s not the size of jeans that makes the woman, it’s her complex mind and wit.

What do you know at your age?

Throw Your Horns Up

2007-05-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

Well, summer repeats have already started and though I’m happy for the reprieve, I was dreading my television choices for last night. That was until I saw the VH1 Rock Honors. It’s always proved entertaining in the past much like the Hip Hop Honors. Rockers ZZ Top, Heart, Genesis and Ozzie Osbourne were honored with Super Bowl-like rings and tons of adulation. Celebrities were trotted out to introduce and hype up their musical idols.

The bands were stellar with Alice in Chains providing a thumping soundtrack to Gretchen Wilson as she eeked out ‘Barracuda’. Sweet! The ladies of Heart still rock. Ann Wilson has one of the best voices in rock and roll EVER. Genesis looked like three middle aged British men with melodic genius. Oh yea, that’s basically what they are. Ozzie must have switched to better meds because he was coherent and on task. ZZ Top harkened back to their Texas honky tonk days and supplied young nubile go go dancers in suspended cages.

Here’s the Diva’s look at the most memorable moments:

Crypt Keeper’s School

Ozzie’s band mates looked like the guards at the gates of hell in a Rob Zombie movie. Huge thick biker builds, long Ted Nugent hair and lots of thrashing and angst. They were actually a bit frightening.

Goldie Hawn Tribute

Cameron Diaz was brought in to introduce Heart. Unfortunately, her flighty giggling act is not as endearing as her obvious mentor Goldie. G patented the effect, Cameron is unfortunately annoying in her attempt.

Cousin It Wannabes

The fellas of ZZ Top always looked a bit hairy but now it’s hard to distinguish any skin. Only eyes are visible and maybe a little lip. Amusing in the 80s, scary in 2007.

Rock-Lite

Keene tried to rock it as hard as they could on Genesis’ ‘That’s All’. It was a different take on a classic but sounded like Peter, Paul and Mary trying to cover The Police but you have to love the effort. Cute!

Best Performance

The rockin’ Cabbage Patch Phil Collins was in fine voice last night and yes, he does look like Bob Hoskins. The time away from his band mates has improved his expression and showmanship. He was pretty damn awesome. I forgot how many cool songs Genesis had.

You’re Still Alive

I’m showing my age now but was shocked to see original MTV VJ Adam Curry hosting segments between the show. He looked exactly the same without his bushy 80s curls. He still sounded like the authority on music. Great to see him out. I recently saw Nina Blackwood and let’s just say there is A LOT of water under that bridge.

What did you think?

The Planets are in Alignment

2007-05-24T11:05:00.000-05:00

Talent reigns victorious. The big humongous American Idol final show was gaudy, commercial, long and jam-packed with artists stumping for their records. In other words, it was a glorious display of marketing, glamour and ego. I adored it! I wasn’t going to watch but decided that that one beat boxing moon walking troll wasn’t going to stop my inalieanable right to spend two hours watching crappy Up With People-styled production numbers.

AI producers spared us multiple attempts at the shiteous ballad ‘This is My Now’. We only had to suffer through it once at the emotional climax. We learned many things. Like the grasshopper has not surpassed the Master. Doug E. Fresh is still the beatboxing champion despite Blake’s white bread attempt at knocking off his crown. Jordin is not a small girl. Savor her curves now because in a few months she will be 30 pounds lighter and her hair will be miraculousy straighter. AI will make fun of the mentally challenged. The Best Buddy winners of the Golden Idol were heartbreaking.

Here’s the Diva’s take on the show:

Best Sammy Davis Jr. Moment

Blake was touted as the great performer but before him was Sammy Davis Jr. and Taylor Hicks. I forgot what a showman the dancing panda can be. He may have slimmed down, cultivated a sense of style and trimmed is silver hair but his charm and voice are untouched. I think he deserves that chance at stardom and hope he finds the right music to make that happen.

The Tammy Faye Award

Goes to Paula Abdul who predictably fell to pieces when the winner was announced. You can best believe that she would have had the exact same reaction had Blake won. She was a blubbering mess, just like we like her.

John Lennon Rolls Over in his Grave

The moment Kelly Clarkson started bouncing around barefoot in her Janis Joplin gear screeching Sgt. Pepper. It was awkward and clunky and I felt bad for Beatles fans worldwide. Yoko Ono is probably talking to lawyers right now.

Best F U

Went to Chris Daughtry who had performed the previous night but got a shout out from producing legend with the golden ear Clive Davis. I was expecting Clive to pronounce Daughtry bigger than Jesus at any moment. He may not have won but whose laughing now.

Best Performance of the Night

Carrie Underwood shed her bumpkin tunes for one night and performed a lovely rendition of The Pretender’s ‘I’ll Stand By You.’ Brilliant. She may have been dull as dishwater during her stint on AI but one thing was constant – her pure voice.

Best Showbiz Glitz

Melinda Doolittle was a hit with her former bosses Bebe and Cece Wiand. It was like watching the Bobby Jones Gospel Show on BET only with a white puzzled audience who didn’t know what to do with the lyrics or the performers. Splendid.

The ‘Let it Go Already’ Trophy

We’ve had enough fun exploiting Sanjaya. It’s time to put the toy back in the box. The intro was clever but his manic performance was just as startling as the first time especially with Joe Perry accompanying him. Perry was either high on mushrooms or coerced into doing the show by his teenage children. You pick.

What was your favorite part of the night?

Save the Cheerleader Save the World. Done.

2007-05-22T11:04:00.000-05:00

I almost laughed myself silly this morning over a hilarious Paula Abdul story. If you haven’t heard, I’ll explain a little later. The news is once again littered with fascinating and ridiculous headlines. Here’s a sampling of what has me mesmerized:

Tripping over Tulips

Our girl, the highly medicated therefore regretfully entertaining Paula Abdul, broke her nose trying to avoid stepping on her itty bitty Chihuahua Tulip. Are you freakin’ kidding me? This is another reason not to have one of those pint-sized mutts, especially if you have problems walking. I’ll admit, I’ve nearly bit the dust trying to avoid my fat cat S as she slid under my feet but this takes on a new dimension when Paula is involved. I can only imagine her drug-induced state tonight during the AI finals. I hope she has black raccoon eyes and a splint on her nose. Classic Paula. Have you seen the preview of her new Bravo show, where she’s walking down the street in a gown as motorists are calling her name and she trips on her hem? More classic Paula. I might have to TiVo that.

Who gives a shit?

I’m still salty that Melinda is missing from the AI finals. I don’t think I’ll even watch it tonight. Why bother? It will be crammed with slick advertisements and a tuneless original song. I welcome Jordin but the idea of another beat-boxing moon walking performance from Blake may push me over the edge. I can’t guarantee my full interest. I may watch Dancing with the Stars. At least Joey Fatone makes me laugh.

Heroes is the Bomb

No pun intended but I have to say that the season finale of Heroes was astounding. Not only did it wrap up some lose ends. It gave us a taste of next season. Brilliant! Hiro is my all-time favorite Hero. Truly bad ass.

Bitten by the Bug

Was watching my TiVo’d Oprah’s this weekend when I saw Sarah Jessica Parker and her fashion line Bitten. Everything is under $20 and cute as hell. It comes in sizes 2-22. Changing the face of fashion. Similar to Forever 21 and H & M but more fashion forward and reasonably priced and better made. Check it out here.

What’s on your mind today?

What's Eating the Pop Culture Diva?

2007-05-21T07:32:00.000-05:00

This weekend was blissful. As you know, a reoccurring theme of mine on Monday is the joy of a relaxing weekend filled with my favorite things- sleep, movies and good food. I had all of the above this past weekend. Tops of that list has to be my weekend film selection of Blood Diamond. It had been languishing on my Netflix list for a few weeks when it was finally liberated.

Blood Diamond is a complex film that takes a perplexing look at the conflict (blood) diamonds. No longer the topic of a Kanye West tune, BD examines the cause and effect of the brilliant marketing campaign that has made diamonds a luxury/must-have item across the world.

BD centers around the harrowing story of Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) whose world is torn apart when his village is taken over by rebel forces. Separated from his family, Solomon is forced to mine for diamonds only to come across a coveted pink diamond, which he promptly hides. In order for him to reunite his family, he will have to use the diamond for leverage. Especially his son who was kidnapped and brainwashed by the rebels.

Enter Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio); an opportunistic self-described soldier of fortune that sees Solomon has his big payday. Jennifer Connelly plays Maddy Bowen an optimistic reporter looking for the big story. All come together for a riveting if not exhausting movie that takes you around the world at break neck speed. Its violent scenes brings home the desperation and savagery of rebel soldiers propelled by greed and ignorance.

I found the movies to be a bit too long but worth watching. The topic alone is a conversation starter. DiCaprio is a wonder that just keeps getting better. His maturity as a man and actor bodes well for him. There is no way he could have attempted this role or The Departed 10 years ago. He simply looked too young. Hounsou is intense and expressive; best when he lets lose with what I call his roar, an emotional cry that originates from his belly. Connelly’s character is more of a plot device to move the story along but she shows a youth and freedom that I haven’t seen from her since her teenage days. When she wasn’t playing intense journalist in a serious situation, she was kinda sexy and engaging with DiCaprio.

BD made think of other hallmark Leonardo moments. Below are my favorite Leo roles:

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)

Leo was outstanding as Gilbert’s retarded brother Arnie. The movie is a gem waiting to be discovered and marked Leo’s first Oscar nomination. And did I mention that Gilbert is played by Johnny Depp? Nice eye candy.

The Departed (2006)

Lives up to its reputation. One of Martin Scorsese’s finest. Leo’s all gangsta hot in the film.

The Aviator (2004)

Made me look at him in a different light. Marvelous. The scene with the milk bottles is unforgettable.

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Didn’t care for the movie on a whole but appreciated the creativity on Shakespeare and energy by the young cast. I probably need to take another look.

What’s your favorite Leonardo role?

Man Whores Unite!

2007-05-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

I’ve never been so happy for a Friday in my life. TGIF. With my mind in its usual frenzied state, I started reflecting on Wednesday’s American Idol results show. Not the hideous fact that Melinda Doolittle was robbed of her rightful place in the finals, it’s more about the Maroon 5 performance. I’ve been into the fellas for a while and totally dig the lead singer Adam Levine’s vibe. But let’s keep it real, in his personal life he’s a man whore.

Let me define man whore for you. He’s that cute or sexy or hot guy that loves the ladies and enjoys tempting the boys. Hollywood is brimming with himbos. They bask in the metrosexual sun. They are intriguing in their pure joy in being man whores. It peaks my interest. While I’d never date one, I’m too much of a germ freak to be involved with a loose man and I’m married, I still salute their crafty/shifty/crazy ways.

Here’s a look at my top 5 man whores:

George Clooney

You can clean it up, dress it in an Armani suit and place it in an Italian villa but it’s still a man whore. He’s just more polished and honest in his approach. He loves the ladies, drives the men wild and will never marry. Classic man whore style. No judgement here.

Wilmer Valderamma

Wilmer is a hot mess and typical man whore especially with his delicious accent and tight T-shirts. His liaisons with boney starlets and proclivity for the nightlife qualify him as a man whore.

Colin Farrell

This is your dirty drinking man whore. Once again with the yummy accent. With a recent stint in rehab and a notable absence from the tabloids, it would seem he’s trying to clean up a bit. You can take away the booze and the thin layer of nasty but once a man whore always a man whore.

Lindsey Lohan

Is she really a girl? The voice and slight resemblance of an Adam’s apple may be misleading. She has the sexual appetite of a man or she could just be an old-fashioned tramp but I think there is an argument for man whore status. And her buddy Paris too.

Jude Law

Love the twinkle in his eye but have come to the conclusion that he’s a man whore. Once again with the brilliant accent. If you’ll screw the nanny, you’ll screw anyone. Too bad, I used to find him a lot more interesting when he was happily married father of 10 or however many kids he has.

Who makes your top five?

Let the Shit Storm Begin

2007-05-17T08:50:00.000-05:00

Call me the bitchy blogger today but what the hell happened on American Idol last night. It’s finally jumped the shark. This is the first time that someone has made it into the finals that doesn’t deserve to be there. Talented people have bit the dust too soon but the final always contained equal competitors. I’m a Melinda fan but even if I wasn’t, I’d agree that she deserves a spot in the finals for her consistency and never being in the bottom two.

It’s appalling to think that Blake Forrest Gumped his way into the finals. His status as the most talented male has served him well. Had the male field been stronger, he wouldn’t be there. He’s a great entertainer but not a vocalist. It’s a slap in the face for singers everywhere for his appearance in the finals.

Of course, it’s a hit for the show as well. If he wins, it sends the message that flashy packaging wins over substance. I have no doubt that Blake can mature and grow his skills but right now Melinda and Jordin are prepped for success. I always thought Jordin will reign victorious because she is more marketable but I thought Melinda would be nipping at her heels.

The up side of last night’s travesty is that Melinda isn’t bound by the ridiculous AI contract that makes you record that crappy inspiration song. She will get picked up by a record label that will allow her to do her thing. Look at Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson. I just get pissy because it sends a message to kids that you don’t have to have strong vocals in a singing competition. All you need is a gimmick. Hence, all the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton worship amongst young adults.

With that said, am I the only one outraged by last night’s results show?

Last Divas Standing

2007-05-16T09:18:00.000-05:00

I have to say there was a new excitement in watching American Idol last night and it wasn’t Blake’s predictable beat boxing/moon walking antics. It was the realization that after next week, I get my life back. Shows are on break for the summer and I get to have a life. My husband gets his wife back. The universe is once again balanced.

Last night’s AI illustrated some strong truths. Melinda is a consistent and versatile powerhouse performer. Jordin’s innocence and great personality can transcend any shitty song and Blake is in the wrong competition. While he is a performer, the ladies are vocalists and outmatch him at every turn. J put it nicely by saying, Blake’s a performer but not even that great of a performer.

Here’s the run down on last night’s craptacular show:

Jordin

Simon picked Wishng on a Star, which is a lovely song. My favorite rendition is by one of those 80s girls dance groups. Was it the Cover Girls or Seducation? You get where I’m coming from. It started off thin but she delivered in the end. The producer’s choice (What happened to Clive Davis this year?) of She Works Hard for the Money was fun in a disco meets the Love Boat kind of way. She is right for this kind of up tempo oldies song. She brought the heat in her final repeat of I Who Have Nothing. Loved it the first time. Adored it the second time.

Blake

Paula picked The Police anthem Roxanne and it almost worked but didn’t have enough energy to lift off but at least it forced him to sing like an adult. The producers hit the jackpot with Maroon 5’s This Love. This is his type of music though his voice is no match for man whore Adam Levine’s. He ended the show with a clever cover of Robin Thicke’s When I Get You Alone. I love this type of singing over a hip hop track however, Blake doesn’t possess enough soul to pull it off. It was a proficient showing that showcased him with the right songs but not enough for him to advance.

Melinda

Randy chose Whitney Houston’s I Believe in You and Me, the ultimate wedding song, for Melinda. And I’m pretty sure that she thanked Randy Johnson at the end of the clip. Perhaps that’s Randy’s evil twin. The producers picked Nutbush City Limits, which allowed her to perfect her swagger and growl. It was extremely brash and bold for the nice girl. She ended the night with Woman and the sass was back. She earned a spot in the finals.

Jordin and Melinda will be the last divas standing.

Who do you think will make it to next week’s finals?

For Your Consideration

2007-05-15T11:00:00.000-05:00

I saw a quirky movie Friday night. In between my bouts of end-of-the week exhaustion, For Your Consideration was amusing. From the twisted mind of Christopher Guest, FYC is a bizarre and often hilarious look into movie making, marketing and the entire nomination process. It has the usual Guest players Parker Posey, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Harry Shearer, Jennifer Coolidge and more. It wasn’t the funniest Guest film I’ve seen but he has a profound talent for silly yet thoughtful comedies/parodies.

This reminded me of other wacky/bizarre films I adore. Here are a sampling of the best quirky comedies:

Better Off Dead (1985)

“I want my $3.” It doesn’t get funnier than that. This is one of the great underrated 80s comedies that starred John Cusak before he was crowned the king of self-important romantic comedies. It’s pure 80s pop culture fluff.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

I guess this is considered a comedy. I remember thinking it was incredibly surreal and imaginative at the time. It’s been years since I’ve seen it but I know it still holds up. Clever. Well written. Great casting. John Cusak before he got paunchy. Cameron Diaz is unrecognizable.

Best in Show (2000)

I don’t believe in cat people and dog people but this movie makes a strong argument that these groups exist. Everyone has witnessed this perverted new trend in dog ownership. Tiny canine designer clothes, shoes and diamond studded colors. This film is gloriously over the top with its insightful look into dog shows. Waiting for Guffman is another gem by Guest.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

I knew I was watching something edgy and fresh when I saw this at the theater. I saw it three times, which is unheard of for me. Each time someone walked out of the theater early, not sure of what they were witnessing. I was enchanted and mesmerized. It’s so original in it’s humor and tone. It's obvious Quentin Tarantino has a love of film, actors and the audience.

What are your favorite quirky comedies?

When did I turn into my mother?

2007-05-10T13:54:00.000-05:00

I’m not sure when it happened but I woke up one day and I was a lot more like my mother than I was comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong! G is a fascinating woman. She has a love of shopping that could only be rivaled by Posh Spice. She is the only black woman without rhythmn. The Electric Slide is the ultimate challenge. She has visited every casino is North America, which has replaced her addiction to bingo. Her email onehotbingomomma speaks volumes. Her favorite song is Elvis’ “In the Ghetto.”

I grew up with many images of pop culture mothers. Some were familiar while others rang false. June Cleaver was a great mother but I couldn’t relate to a stay at home mom. My mother always worked. Claire Huxtable was a loving mother and while she was black and had G’s edge, she was still too easy going. It wasn’t until I saw Terms of Endearment that I recognized my mother. She’s a black version of Shirley MacLaine’s character Aurora Greenway. The pill scene could have been ripped from my life. She’s a demanding, loyal, fierce and protective momma bear.

In honor of Mother’s Day, here’s the top five ways I knew I was turning into my mother.

5. I started wearing her longtime scent Youth Dew by Estee Lauder a couple of years ago and get at least once compliment each time I wear it.

4. I started taking extremely hot showers and bathes while also refusing to wear gloves when I clean with strong detergents and scalding water.

3. I can turn a simple trip to the grocery store into a epic journey, which can easily send me to other stores and lunch.

2. I have the most expressive eyes. My face may not say your breath stinks but my eyes will send you the message

1. My blog is peppered with such G sayings as “Lord have mercy”, “… go sit down somewhere”, “Good God” and more. If it sounds folksy, it’s G.

Is your mother a character from a movie/TV show? If so, which once?

How Deep is Your Love

2007-05-09T08:14:00.000-05:00

Last night I was in 70s mellow Bee Gees heaven. The American Idol wannabes had the unfortunate task pf selecting from a list of over 600 songs penned by that cuddly/hairy Bee Gee Barry. These songs are so well known it’s hard not to sound like karaoke. During his mentoring sessions, I couldn’t help but imagine Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake as the brothers on SNL.

The budding singer’s song choices were baffling. Jordin sang two dreary overblown ballads and Blake used beat boxing to nauseating heights on two dance tracks. Where was the diversity? Not to mention the evil stylists were at it again. Jordin looked like she packed on 20 pounds on her behind. Her clothes are hugging her glorious curves at all the wrong angles. Melinda’s jeans were so damn tight I wouldn’t be surprised if she got a yeast infection and they were hanging low in the crotch despite hanging on for dear life to her thighs.

I thought I’d take another approach to blogging AI this week. I’m looking at what songs would be a great fit for the contestants.

Melinda

Homegirl is the resident professional. She’s consistent and thoughtful in her interpretations. I see her as a young Stephanie Mills or Natalie Cole. She needs to show more sassy contemporary personality. She could benefit from “This Will Be” by NCole and “Gravity” by John Mayer or tackling Mary J. Blige or Alicia Keys. Corinne Bailey Rae could fit as well.

Blake

We get it. You can beat box. The problem is figuring out what songs to beat box on and how often. Last night’s double dose seemed foolish and didn’t work like the previous week. He could benefit from a Maroon 5 song like “Harder to Breathe” or Jason Mraz.

LaKisha

She’s a great belter but needs a song that doesn’t call for shouting or over the top dramatics. I would take her to Motown or the great jazz stylings of Dinah Washington, Etta James or the new darling Amy Winehouse.

Jordin

She’s proven she’s up for anything but extremely fast tracks lose her. She’d be great at bringing a young spin to the great singer/songwriters of the 70s like Carly Simon, Carol King and my Idol James Taylor. These are pure well-written songs that would allow her to shine without taking her over.

What do you think?

Get Off the Damn Couch!

2007-05-08T09:39:00.000-05:00

I ran into this article in USA Today and was quite frankly elated. Top 25 public meltdowns. I live for this stuff. Not because someone is having a nervous break down or going through a traumatic situation but because it puts my la vida loca in perspective. I firmly believe that there is a lot to learn from celebrities and public figures. Not just how to date your nanny or abuse your children in a fit of rage. We can learn from their mistakes since they are so public and open to scrutiny.

Check out the 25 here. I like #6, #12, #14, #15 and #17. I’m not sure how #24 got there.

What are your favorites? What should be added to the list?

I'm Not Saying I'm Clairvoyant

2007-05-04T10:29:00.000-05:00

But I can predict the future. I’m referring to Oprah’s recent guest Dina Matos McGreevey, the long -suffering wife of former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey/the gay American. You may remember the buzz a few years back when after being blackmailed by a male lover, McGreevey was shoved out of the closet. Who was the glassy-eyed blond with the nervous smile by his side? It was his mortified and obviously stunned wife.

I remember watching the show and thinking his story was interesting but everyone would want to hear from his wife. I knew Oprah would get the interview. Dina was out promoting her new book Silent Partner. I have to say her appearance was a huge disappointment. If her book reads like her interview, it will suck.

It’s obvious that she’s passed her shocked stage and slid into the bitter angry stage. I’m not saying she doesn’t have a right to be there. I probably would have slashed his clothes or caught his clothes on fire ala Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. But she’s way too furious to tell her story objectively. She needs more time and prospective on the matter.

She portrayed herself as a victim and I don’t think she’s a victim. She’s a survivor. Her husband did a hurtful thing but she’s still taking the angle that she had no clue. She admits he was extremely secretive. Hushed conversations with his first wife? Throwing a secret party for Wife #1? Not meeting his child from the first marriage? Never visiting her in-laws house? Having his friend ask you if you’d accept a proposal from him if he asked?? This doesn’t make him gay but it does make him peculiar. She sounded like she was in the denial stage.

I’m not judging her but her story and memories didn’t seem 100%.

If you saw the Oprah or read the book, what are your thoughts?

Slippery When Wet

2007-05-02T07:40:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I have a moment of clarity at the most surprising times. I walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of something wild and untamed. Turns out it’s me. My hair has totally frizzed out from doing Tae Bo. I look like a young Tina Turner. I’m watching American Idol and the guest mentor is Jon Bon Jovi. I realize I’m older, once again I refuse to say old. I know all of the Bon Jovi songs. They were the biggest thing running my senior year, next to Def Leppard and George Michael. Yes, we all wanted his sex. Class of ’89 rocks.

I was shocked and relieved that Bon Jovi night didn’t turn out to be another Gloria Estefan debacle. All of the contestants channeled their inner rock star with some amazing results. The selections were typical but filled with power. The stylists went into heavy metal gear. There was more big hair, tight denim, leather boots and chunky jewelry than all of Ozzyfest. With two wannabes being eliminated, performances needed to be perfect.

Here’s the run down:

Phil-Blaze of Glory

He’s definitely found his niche in the country rock format but he was yelling again last night. It was a tad manic and scary but at least it was filled with energy and motion. You didn’t want to fall asleep like on his other endevours.

Jordin-Livin’ on a Prayer

I was surprised she had trouble on this but she worked it the best she could. Her powerhouse voice wouldn’t allow her to let go and live the song. It kind of spun out of control but she was rockin’ the latest in suburban rocker goth wear.

LaKisha-This Ain’t a Love Song

At least I think this was the name of the song. Whatever it was, she sang the hell out of it. I just hope it isn’t too late for her. She was able to direct her belting voice into a rock song. Brilliant! Oh, and did I mention the Kiki/Simon kiss. I always knew he liked the black girls.

Blake-You Give Love a Bad Name

I wanted to hate this from the beat box opening to the Michael Jackson ending but it was pretty good. I don’t know that beat boxing is so much an innovation to a song in 2007 but it was different. Simon had it right. Half of the audience will love it the other half will hate it. My mother won’t know what to make of that.

Chris-Dead or Alive

Poor kid was trying to make it work but barely held on to the groove. I thought he would play up the country boy within since the R & B crooner gets diluted more and more each week.

Melinda-Have a Nice Day

She might not know how to throw up the horns but she can kick it rock style. This was the performance she needed to show her sassy side on a contemporary song. Kudos.

The bottom three will be Chris, Kiki and Phil.

Who do you think is going home?

Casting Call

2007-05-01T13:21:00.000-05:00

With Rosie O’Donnell looking to spread her verbose opinions in another venue, it makes me wonder who should replace Rosie on The View. I don’t know if it’s intentional but the brainstorming titans that suggested annoying Rose for annoying Star missed the mark. I know it is a clever marketing ploy to hire Rosie but they need to take into account the existing personalities. Frigid uptight Elisabeth Hasselbeck fills their quota of annoying. They need to branch out in different directions. Explore more diverse backgrounds.

Here are the Diva’s choices for the new Rosie:

Queen Latifah

Seriously. She would be perfect for the show. She’s grounded, sarcastic and hilarious without being offensive for the sake of being offensive. She would add that bit of flava that’s missing from the panel. She’d set the girlfriends in check with style and panache.

Cristina Saralegui

For those of you who don’t know Cristina, she’s the Hispanic Oprah. A woman of a certain age that can tell you you’re dumb and ugly yet you wouldn’t get offended. She has that warm Tia/Abuela vibe.

Leah Remini

With the King of Queens coming to an end, this would be the perfect time for the acid tongued Brooklyn gal to try this format. My only concession to this entry is she can’t use this forum to taut the pseudo religion Scientology. There needs to be a clear division. Her wise cracking persona would complement the existing women.

Mo’nique

Yes, the spelling of her name is ridiculous and yes, her participation in Charm School is suspect but this plus sized beauty is a wonder. She’s warm real with a mad dash of ghetto thrown in. Plus they could afford her.

Who do you think should replace Rosie?

What would you do if your mother came back from the grave?

2007-04-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

I don’t always see the appeal of Penelope Cruz as an actress. I get her unconventional beauty, poise and feminine qualities but her acting has been questionable. The only time she seems to sparkle is in Spanish-language films. As was the case in Volver, which was my weekend movie. I wasn’t sure that I was up to reading subtitles. My Spanish is passable in small doses and simple conversations.

Volver follows the path of Raimunda (Cruz), her daughter Paula (Yohana Cobo) and Raimunda’s sister Sole (Lola Duenas) four years after the death of their mother. The death of their great aunt and return of their mother Irene (Carmen Maura) sets a series of acts in motion that are difficult to predict. Described as a comedy, I found it amusing but not really a comedy. The film was filled with revelations that were not only heartbreaking but also surprising. I don’t want to give away too much.

As always, director Pedro Almodovar allows us to reside in his colorful reality and his hometown region of La Mancha. The opening scenes of women cleaning their relative’s graves brought back memories. I spent many a Saturday, cleaning and planting flowers at relative’s graves. I know the passion and emotions that go into the process.

I’ve been an admirer of Almodovar since Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! It was my introduction to the quirky director and yummy Antonio Banderas. I didn’t think I could like once of his films more than the creepy yet engaging Bad Education but Volver was very good in a more conventional way.

Cruz possesses that Meg Ryan quality of tearing up without letting the tears drop. Her character was expressive and complex. At first glance you see one dimension but her many layers are unveiled as the movie progresses making her the most dynamic person next to her mother. I enjoyed the theme and pace of the film. Maura, a Almodovar alumn was endearing as a mother seeking forgiveness.

What did you see this weekend?

Random Thoughts on a Friday

2007-04-27T10:45:00.000-05:00

Another week, another dollar. Unfortunately my busy schedule has prevented me from contributing to my blog the way I would like to but don’t fret. I’m back for my random Friday thoughts. I’ve done a lot of random TV watching that has left me dazed and confused. You’ll have to let me know what you think.

Pampered and Pussy-whipped

Or as the E! Network likes to call them Katie and Peter (pronounced Peet-A). Why these two have a reality show in the US is beyond me. From what the show explains, Katie Price is a well-known media whore in England. She’s famous for her scantily clad model alter ego Jordan. That’s right she channels another character when she models. Jordan is the trashier Pamela Anderson of Great Britain. The wicked party girl has branched into clothing, books and other enterprises. Peter Andre is a former boy bander who has branched out as a pop idol. The ethnic Nick Lachey of Great Britain.

Legend has it the two participated in some Survival-type show for celebrities, fell in love and got married. The reality show follows them around. She appears to be vapid and spoiled. He appears to be man-flaky and hot for her body. The show is like watching animals in the zoo. You’ve heard about people like this but never seen them close up. It’s oddly absorbing but probably only intrigues me because of the celebrity/pop culture sparkle. Does America really care about these people? Is this what the Posh Spice/Becks circus is going to look like?

Room with a View, Please

Rosie finally talked herself off The View. I like Rosie but she must be a headache to work with or even manage. I never thought that someone could be too opinionated for that show. The interesting thing about being outspoken is that it only works if you have something provocative to share. Being a gay parent isn’t enough of a platform to speak from because that’s not all you are. Rosie was unable to show enough facets to continue. I’m sure the spin they are making in true- this is a contract issue but if you really want someone for the job, you oblige.

Charm School My Ass

VH1 has abandoned their role as the older stately sister to MTV. They are now the Jerry Springer Network. (No pun intended. They also have a show that enlightens us to the tactics and procedures in booking and shooting Jerry Springer’s colorful guests.) Flavor of Love Girls Charm School is brilliant on the surface. Bring back the eclectic group of girls who vied for the Crypt Keeper’s affections over the last two season and dangle money in front of their face. The only problem is that a third of the girls have anger issues, another third is seeking Z-list celebrity from the show and the last third is truly ignorant. This is not a great combination. I can’t watch the show because I really feel sorry for them. Usually, I can bask in the glow of dramatic girl-on-girl catfights but these girls are exploiting themselves.

What do you think?

Help Jerry's Kids

2007-04-25T10:19:00.000-05:00

Was it just me or was American Idol’s telecast last night a horrendous rendition of a Jerry Lewis telethon? Remember the ghastly yet entertaining marathons of zany comedians, boozy host, juggling acrobats and polyester clad singing groups. Update the clothes and add some John Mayer music and you have Idol Gives Back, awkward pandering segments that placed Simon and Ryan in Africa, Randy in Louisiana and Paula in Atlanta. The most sincere person was Simon. He was truly appalled by the living conditions in Africa and inspired by the LA food bank. I couldn’t help but wish he’d break a piece off his fat cat paycheck for these causes.

To add salt to the wound, the contestants were asked to sing inspirational songs. Puleeze! Not only was the hour-long show padded with tear-inducing images of poor hungry children, we had to hear Kiki shriek through her “inspirational” song.

Here’s the run down:

Chris- Change the World

Not quite sure how this is an inspirational song and not a love song but Justin Timberfake belted it like he was changing the world. He still didn’t connect with me but the judges praised his weak attempt.

Melinda-There Will Come a Day

Not familiar with the song but she sang the hell out of it. Gave it a gospel quality. It wasn’t my favorite performance of hers but still leagues above the rest.

Blake-Imagine

This was the most hollow, uninspired version of Imagine I’ve ever heard. He was concentrating so hard on hitting the notes that he didn’t beat box or moon walk.

LaKisha-I Believe

Honey, never take on a Fantasia song. She performs from the top of her head to the bottomof her toes. She’s a young Patti LaBelle. Kiki’s lack of range is weighing on all of us. She will be leaving us soon.

Phil-The Change

Another week and he hasn’t sucked that bad. Still not showing much emotion but his vocals have greatly improved. He may have bought himself another week.

Jordin-You’ll Never Walk Alone

It started off very hokey but she brought it home with great emotion and power. She brought herself to tears and had me a bit weepy. Best performance of the night.

The bottom three will be Kiki, Blake and Chris.

Who do you think will go home?

I Finally Did It!

2007-04-23T13:53:00.000-05:00

I finally did it, my darlings. After all this time, I finally saw The Departed and I was flabbergasted. It was everything that you have all been saying. I was riveted after the opening sequence. From the editing to the music, it all fit together perfectly. I’ve seen tons of mafia movies and after a while they all blend together. Violence, greed, betrayal and more violence by (insert ethnic group here). I’ve seen them all the Chinese, Japanese, African American, Italian, Jewish and Irish organized crime groups. And many of these movies were by Martin Scorsese himself.

I’ve heard it said that he makes the same movie over and over ( I guess they’ve never seen Age of Innocence, The Last Temptation of Christ or Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore) but he broke the mold on this one. Even though it’s a remake of a Japanese film, it was translated beautifully for an American audience. The Departed tells the story of undercover cop Billy (Leonardo DiCaprio) as he starts his relentless pursuit of Boston kingpin Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) who is aided by the sinister cop Colin (Matt Damon). The stellar cast is supported by Mark Wahlberg is a career defining performance. I thought Boogie Nights was his breakout role but I never saw this coming.

Wahlberg without a doubt steals every scene he’s in. He showed great comic timing and the perfect hothead to Martin Sheen’s sensible straight man. Nicholson as always brought the highest level of commitment to his character. Costello was a charismatic, eccentric and intriguing crime boss. The real star of the movie was Matt Damon. His sweet face belies the evil of his character. He stunned me in The Talented Mr. Ripley and left me once again without words. Not too many actors can convincingly plan heroes as well as villains. He greatly deserved an Academy nomination for this role. Wahlberg and Damon took advantage of their Boston roots to add authenticity to the production.

DiCaprio has given me another reason to rethink his box office mojo. He’s always been the pretty boy but his acting in The Aviator and now The Departed has caused me to pause. I suspect Blood Diamond will further cement his talent and appeal to me. I have to admit, little Leo was kinda hard and smokin’ as a street thug. Still a little too petite for my liking but he’s transcended his little boy looks and stretched his acting muscles. My only confusion came with the sole female character Madolyn (Vera Farmiga). She wasn’t as dimensional as her male counterparts. She was written like a plot device to humanize Billy and to some degree Colin.

Over all, the movie was a triumph. It works on all levels. Intelligent script. Diverse range of talented actors. Visually and musically captivating. I was tense and clutching my pearls through much of the movie, a testament to the engaging energy of the picture. I threw my hands up in victory during the last scene. Scorsese created another masterpiece. Add this to Goodfellas, Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.

I could kick myself for not watching this earlier.

What did you see this weekend?

What the %^&*?

2007-04-20T09:51:00.000-05:00

OMG. Ever have one of those weeks where you are enraged by most of what you see and here. I’m having one of those weeks, children. I’m trying to get over it but I’m still salty. Here’s why:

Mean Daddy

I started off this morning by listening to the raging Alec Baldwin tape. You know the one where he cussing out is adolescent daughter in quite colorful language. I thought it was a joke. Listen here. Isn’t he divorced yet? His dramatic divorce and custody proceedings have been going on for years. It’s unfortunate that he and Kim Basinger couldn’t get their shit together for the sake of their daughter. Instead we are subjected to the public release of an obviously outraged man blasting his daughter.

I just feel bad that his bad behavior was made public for the obvious personal gain of Basinger. If he’s an ass, take it to the judge not the tabloids. Let the tape speak for itself in that arena. Making it public is an obvious attempt to discredit him and ruin his public image, which is funny because we don’t see him as the warm cozy man who reads to the blind. He seems like a volatile emotionally moody whiskey-soaked man with hints of extreme arrogance. His behavior is appalling and inappropriate but her motives are suspect.

Rehab IS the New Spa Getaway

Party girl Lindsey Lohan has once again proven that they are not fit role models for anyone. Lohan blabs to Allure magazine that while she enjoyed her stint in rehab, attended AA meetings for a year and was recommended by her therapist to seek help, she doesn’t consider herself and addict. Read here. She may not be an addict but she’s an utter idiot. Her detached attitude regarding rehab takes away from the release mission of intervention. What did she learn from this experience?

Izzie and George. Seriously?

You know how I feel about Grey’s Anatomy as a pioneering female-identified program but the latest developments have taken it into daytime soap territory. It’s hard for me to believe that Izzie thinks of George in any sexual way. There a big difference between a true platonic relationship and wanting to rub naked against that person despite how much alcohol flies down your throat. There isn’t that much drunk in the world. This plot line seems to be written as a road block instead of honest motivation from a character.

McDreamy can kiss my McAss. There is no way he should even contemplate ending it with Meredith to fulfill his ill-conceived notion of being Chief. I can take a little resentment but a break up is unforgivable. How many times are we supposed to go through this before we give up or stop caring? Also, you’re going to tell me that Cristina’s former lover is going to pop into her life after three years and assert that she’s lost herself. First, she wouldn’t care what he thinks and secondly, people change. It’s called growth. I can understand if it makes her re-evaluate herself. Didn’t she learn anything from Meredith’s mother?

Do you feel my disgruntled nature today? What do you think?

Another Sign I'm Getting Older

2007-04-19T13:10:00.000-05:00

Picture this. It’s the mid-80s. A golden-skinned 13-year-old is lacing up her pure white skates with the matching emerald green pom poms and wheels. It’s her Saturday ritual – hanging out with her friends at the local roller skating rink. Clad in snug Jordache jeans, thin silver belt and red and white striped T-shirt, she takes tentative steps onto the skating rink floor as Hall & Oates bellow ‘Your Kiss is on My List.” Classic 80s childhood memory.

If you hadn’t guessed, that skating teen diva was me. I lived for the skating rink and H&O were one of my favorite groups. Based largely on Daryl Hall’s blue-eyed soul and their progressive music videos. So imagine my delight when I flicked on VH1 Classic and saw them in concert shelling their 2004 album Our Kind of Soul. D was in great voice though a bit bloated and J shed his monster 80s mustache. I bee bopped around my house doing laundry then it sank in. I’m getting older (and I’m okay with that). Notice I didn’t say old. I was filled with nostalgia and amazing memories of my days at the rink. Yummy pizza and suicide pop (a sugary mix of every soda in the fountain and yes, up north soda is called pop).

Indulge me today as I look back to the days when I was young, wild and free. I fit in a size 7 jeans and loved my MTV (some things never change). Here are the Diva’s picks for killer roller skating anthems:

Open Arms-Journey

This was also a favorite at school dances and house parties. Sentimental and sappy. It was the perfect couples skate. Separate Ways was a close second.

Nasty Girl-Vanity 6

In light of Imus’ recent comment, it never occurred to me to be offended by the song. That was the staple all-girl skate that made teenage boys quite happy. I think I paid more attention to the gritty funkiness of the song rather than the lyrical content.

Anything by Hall & Oates

Private Eyes and Maneater were my favorites but they had the perfect medium tempo music for skating. Plus the music was decidedly 80 with heavy sythnsized drums and keyboards.

Anything by Huey Lewis and the News

Are you kidding? This and was a staple at the rink. I Need A New Drug, Power of Love, Hip to Be Square and Stuck With You are all fantastic tunes.

Ahh, I can feel the sweet wind blowing through my sideways ponytail.

Were you a roller skating devotee? What are your favorite songs?

Idol Goes Country

2007-04-18T07:50:00.000-05:00

Yee haw yawl! I’m just feeling a little country fried after watching the American Idol wannabes attack country music last night. I had a revelation. Country night on AI doesn’t have to be appallingly bad. I was entertained. The budding Idols must have made peace with the stylists and hairdressers. They looked incredible. Once again, the celebrity mentor lectured the virtues of connecting to the audience and telling a story through song.

Martina McBride had the honor of coaching the potential Idols on this challenging week. I’ve noticed that this year’s celebrity coaches seem to be fans of the show. While extremely polite and encouraging, they have a lot of knowledge of the contestants and past shows.

Here’s a recap:

Phil-Where the Black Top Ends

Who would have known that inside that grisly exterior laid a personality? Not the most captivating personality but a personality none the less. This was the best he has sounded but that number one position and past performances make him vulnerable.

Jordin-A Broken Wing

Teeny bopper Jordin pulled out another fantastic performance. Despite a few ill-timed smiles, she performed with great emotion and energy. She’s definitely in the running for the title.

Sanjaya-Something to Talk About

This is a great AI song that up until last night, I thought was impossible to destroy. That was until pretty boy Sanjaya donned a bandana and made uncomfortable banter with a clearly amused background singer. He looked like he was playing Bernardo in a grade school production of West Side Story. Horrific!

LaKisha-Jesus Take the Wheel

Kiki’s performance spiraled out of control as she over sang the song. The lyrics were enough but her inner gospel diva took control and drowned out the emotion and sentiment of the song.

Chris-Mayberry

The title says it all. It’s hard for me to imagine that this is the best Rascal Flatts song he could find. Not good at all and sounded even worse during the recap at the end. Time to say adios.

Melinda-Trouble is a Woman

Don’t know where the hell she pulled this song but she vamped it up the way she should have last week. She would have been great on anything but sparkled on this old time honky tonk song. Her hair and outfit were beautiful. Like Jordin, what she wears is almost as important as what she sings.

Blake-When the Stars Go Blue

Sounded like a beautiful song but it had me wondering how the original sounded. I don’t get Blake’s appeal. He’s not hot, cute or even adorable to me and his singing is less than spectacular.

The bottom three should be Phil, Chris and golden boy Sanjaya.

What did you think?

Leg Watch: Week 5

2007-04-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

I was going through my regular reading this morning when I came across two interesting articles in USA Today. The first was close to my heart because it talked about Dancing with the Stars maven Heather Mills or as I like to call her the dancing troll. (Side Note: Her leg didn’t pop off but she did fall over. Am I horrible to root for her leg to come off?) Forgive me. While I applaud her courageous task, I can’t get over her goulish looks and garish clothes.

The article brings up a valid point about using DWTS as a public relations/marketing tool. Read here. It might work for Ian Ziering but there is too much water under the bridge to save Mills’ tattered image in her native England. She means nothing to me and I’d like to think I’m indifferent but I do cast a suspicious eye on her relationship and divorce from Paul McCartney. Even my 70-year-old mother had harsh words for her and she probably didn’t know who she was before DWTS started.

This just illustrates the importance of great personal public relations and image building. She was never able to establish herself as genuinely in love with the Beatle before she was thrust in the hot spotlight and branded a gold digger.

The second article was about my other guilty pleasure – American Idol. Read here. It brings up the valid point that it is easier for Idol alumni to succeed in country music. Every season, except the current, has a resident country gal/guy - a Martina McBride/ Faith Hill warbler. Last year we were graced with two. Lucky us.

I’ve always thought this was a great disservice because no one can sing a Martina song better than she can and AI is supposed to be a pop music competition. Simon Cowell was famous for stressing that AI was looking for a pop idol. Remember poor Josh Gracin and the lashings he received for his country leanings. That went out the window the minute he saw Carrie Underwood and the cash register started to ka-ching in his ears.

I know what you’re thinking. What about the rockers and R & B talents? Very true that they aren’t considered pop but they still get plenty of play on pop radio. Pop radio pulls from hip-hop, rock, alternative and R & B not country. Country music crosses over to adult radio but not Top 40. The only crooner with a twang to do that recently was Shania Twain. Even Martina, Faith and Carrie are relegated to country radio or easy listening stations.

It’s easy to explain why country Idols do so well - the fan base. Country music has the most devoted fans next to soap opera fanatics and trekkies. Country doesn’t have to compete with other genres or jockey for position in the record stores. Did I just date myself? There’s no such thing as records anymore unless you’re spinning at a club but CD store sounds just as bizarre. Okay, music store. Either way, thanks to the AI publicity machine country contestant do well.

What are your thoughts?

Fugidabboubit!

2007-04-16T13:52:00.000-05:00

The blood has finally been shed and by blood shed I’m referring to The Sopranos. You’ve read my declaration for all things mafia. Well, TV shows and movies are no different. I’m a relative newbie in the world of TS. I just started watching it about four years ago but was instantly enthralled.

Like most classic TV shows, TS lures you into the hypnotic, flashy, energetic world of modern day mob families. It harkens to the Godfather flicks with a hint of Archie Bunker. The show is well written and humorous with well-defined characters that go beyond stereotypes. It follows the conflict between occupational obligations and moral dilemmas. It also broadens the circle to include therapists, girlfriends, mistresses and innocent laborers drawn into the organized crimes of TS.

The talk among TS devotees is how it will end. Will Tony live or will he die? Who will take over? Of course, this sets my mind in motion and I have a clear vision of how the award-winning show should go out- in a blaze of glory ala The Godfather.

Here’s the show-ending episodes as seen by the Diva:

Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini)

After many health woes and anxiety attacks, Tony will die of natural causes most likely while having sex with his wife or some random stripper/Jersey Girl.

Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco)

She will be heart broken but ultimately released from her services as a mob wife. She will find her soul mate Furio Giunta and split her time between Italy and New Jersey. She’ll also act as consultant to the new boss.

Christopher Moltisanti (Michael Imperioli)

Paranoia concerning Tony and heartbreak over having Adriana killed will drive him to drugs once again. However, several lapses of judgement and disrespect will cause Tony to whack him personally.

Meadow Soprano (Jamie-Lynn Sigler)

Despite a power struggle with her bitter Aunt Janice, innocent Meadow will summon her book smarts and indirect knowledge of the family to take over for Tony. She will show a natural aptitude for organized crime. Mother Carmela will help fill in the blanks since she’s spent decades watching the business.

A.J. Soprano (Robert Iler)

A.J. will continue to be a bumbling idiot unable to get his life on track regardless of many golden opportunities. He will become the Fredo of the Soprano family.

How do you see it ending?

Random Thoughts

2007-04-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting week in the news and pop culture. I thought today would be the perfect time to explore the random thoughts rattling around in my perverse head.

Nappy Headed Hos

I know. I wasn’t going to talk about this because it doesn’t deserve more press but after hearing so much on the media regarding Imus’s unfortunate use of words to describe a group of elite female athletes, I felt compelled to speak. I don’t understand why this has been turned into a racial issue. Every woman should be outraged that he called a group of top athletes from a top university a bunch of whores. His adding nappy was obviously geared at the black team members but just added a racist flavor to his sexist soup.

IT’S NOT OKAY TO CALL WOMEN HOS OR BITCHES. I’ve been known to color my writing and language with the occasional bitch reference and it’s usually in a derogatory manner. So there is no way Imus didn’t mean to demean those ladies. He never would have called a group of Harvard law students a bunch of blond sluts without some backlash. It’s become imbedded in our pop culture.

I hold the rappers and other musicians responsible for the acceptance of this word. Yes, everyone has freedom of speech but with that freedom comes responsibility for what comes out of your mouth and how it makes someone feel. It’s unacceptable for rappers to call all women hos and bitches. I agree there is a certain type of woman that lives up to this name but I’m not her. I’ve heard a lot of male deejays saying that this had been blown out of proportion but they would be pissed off if someone called their mother, wife or daughter a nappy headed ho. It’s just not cool.

With this being such a common phrase, I find myself not always reacting to the term. First, because I’m not a ho and secondly because I’ve gotten used to it. This is a problem as well. Women need to step up and say something. I know I’m going to be more conscious of the usage. It’s different to be joking with friends and another to verbally assault a group of complete strangers.

A New Definition of Beauty

I was elated to see that Drew Barrymore would be the new Cover Girl. Queen Latifah sent me over the edge and Drew sent me over the moon. Finally! Cover Girls that I can relate to. Different sizes and shapes. Drew isn’t a classic beauty, which makes this even more special. I love that the definition of beauty is expanding and becoming more inclusive. I’ve always thought that that there is someone out there for everyone. Someone is going to love your plentiful stretch marks, enormous size 10 feet, fluffy love handles or Chubacca-like hairy arms.

Who’s Your Baby Daddy?

No big surprise here. Larry Birkhead is the father of little Dannielynn making Howard K. Stern look a bit delusional and pathetic. I do feel some sympathy for him. However, this was something that couldn’t be faked. Science will get you every time. It will be interesting what the next step will be in the Anna Nicole saga. Stay tuned.

What are you thinking about today?

The Bee in My Bonnet

2007-04-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

Like I need another one. I feel like such an Ohio school marm but their is troubling trend in reality shows where contestants are up for life altering career changes and their children are at home. In other words, there's an 18-year-old with a 0ne-year-old baby vying to become the Next Doll. There are three budding models on America's Next Top Model who have toddlers at home. Being away from their babies often sends them to the brink. I understand the need to make a better life for yourself and your family but it's only worth it if you win. I'm just not sure it's a good idea to accept contestants who have children under five-years-old. Call me old fashioned.

Also, there are two 18-year-olds in the Pussycat Doll race. That seems so young to be part of the competition let alone out on the road. One girl is starting to wonder what her parents and others will think about her. Call me traditional but their time would probably be spent better in college. I think it's different if you're a member of a band or singer/songwriter. But a member of a racy burlesque group disguised as a pop group? I don't know.

I just think some of these reality shows need to look at their guidelines since entering into one can change your life and not always for the better.

I kept it short and sweet today. What do you think?

Sanjaya Sucked Last Night-NOT!

2007-04-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

Last night’s American Idol was a painful reminder that it ain’t easy singing Latin-flavored songs. You may remember the Gloria Estefan debacle a few years ago where we had to suffer through karaoke versions of Conga. Not much changed last night. Unlike Motown or Broadway themes, Latin night proves to be a tougher challenge. No one was able to release their inner Charo or Ricky Martin, which was disappointing but predictable. The surprises of the night were Sanjaya’s passable vocals on the Spanish gem Besame Mucho.

Jennifer Lopez proved to be a surprisingly insightful coach. Her advice to tap into the lyrics and connect with the audience was valid and repetitive. Every week a celebrity mentor tells the thick-headed warblers the same thing. Only Melinda, LaKisha and Jordin seem to get the message. It was amusing to see JLo try to channel the wannabes spicy side. Face it, no one can shake a bon bon like Jenny from the Block. I’ll give her credit for trying to advise the contestants about stage presence. What she lacks in voice talent, she more than makes up for in personality and showmanship.

Here’s the Diva’s take on the night:

Melinda-Sway

As usual, this was a stellar performance. She just needed to vamp it up more. In order for it to transcend the cabaret label, it needed to be more playful and sexy. Melinda needs to depart from her safety zone and show us some edge. More weeks of this will lead to boredom and bordeom leads to an exit.

LaKisha-Conga

I’m convinced there is no way to sing this song without sounding like a singer on a cruise ship. Despite JLo’s best efforts to teach Kiki some moves, it proved to difficult. She lost some of her energy trying to move around. They need to have Paula come in to show the kids how to move.

Chris-Smooth

One thing this boy isn’t is smooth. He disregarded JLo’s advice and started the song too low. It was tense and without expression. A lot of energy was spent trying to fit the words and his runs together.

Haley-Turn the Beat Around

The return of the hot pants and see through shirt may garner her more votes but the vocals were tragic. The constant movement and traveling through the audience took its toll of her voice. The song was manic and without soul.

Phil-Maria Maria

Thank God he covered his head unfortunately the full outfit made him look like one of Fat Albert’s gang. His energy and personality are too low key. It drives you boredom. His style lends itself to more quiet singer/songwriter. Unfortunately, his low energy sucks the energy out of the room. He never fully engages the audience, which makes him dispensable.

Jordin- Rhythmn is Gonna Get You

This girl is the energizer bunny. Sanjaya can learn from her. She commits 100% to every theme. Even when it doesn’t work, you still applaud the effort. The song was muddled but she worked it out the best she could.

Blake-I Need To Know

You know I love me some Marc Anthony so I don’t like people messing over his songs. This was a much better vocal from him and devoid of beat boxing but it lacked the sexy vibe that launched the song. It was slightly asexual. He works on a comical level but doesn’t exude passion.

Sanjaya-Besame Mucho

Well, donkeys must have flown because he sang like he deserved to be there. He must have tired of being the punchline of America’s jokes. I have to admit I’m driven to distraction by his gaunt figure, baffling hairstyles and now the indescribable tuff of hair pinned to his chin. J thought it might have been penciled in. I give him credit for singing in another language.

The bottom two will be Phil and Haley.

What do you think?

The Planets Have Aligned

2007-04-09T12:48:00.000-05:00

I saw it. Finally!! I sat down with J and we finally watched Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhistan. It was hilarious. Not as side splitting as I expected it to be but definietly original and fresh. I went into it knowing that the hype surrounding the film may sway my opinion. It’s always hard to watch a movie that everyone raves about because you are expecting this monumental film. It’s hard to live up to that, which is another reason why I like to watch movies at the theater. I get to watch them with no expectations.

The film follows the cross-country journey of Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) from his native Kazakhistan to study American culture with his burly friend Azamet (Ken Davitan). Mayhem ensues when Borat watches an episode of Baywatch. The scenes in his local village are too funny for words. The cast of characters are rich with details.

Cohen is a comedic genius. Simply brilliant. Not only is his wicked twisted mind capable of creating such a weird character; he also has the wit and articulation to put it on paper. Borat works on one level as a frat movie. Some of the jokes are obvious and just plain funny to view. However, his commentary also works on a more observatory/social level. Davitan is incredible as his hairy sidekick. I must say the scene of their naked tussle looked like two bears wrestling in the woods. The length of the scene was unnecessary yet it was one of the funnier spots in the movie.

Cohen knows that it’s funny to joke with the homies on Martin Luther King Blvd. but not to say the N-word. But it is comical to walk into a posh hotel emulating the hip hop culture and calling himself the N-word. It’s acceptable to wreck the man’s antiques because the collection was Confederate memorabilia. Therefore, you don’t feel so bad for him. Walking that fine line between totally inappropriate and social humor is tough. The jokes become malicious and too close to home or too cerebral and over everyone’s head.

A lot was made of the lawsuits against Cohen. J and I literally kept count of the people that were likely to sue over their appearance. But can you really sue someone because you’re an asshole and it was captured on film. It should have served as a wake up call. Cohen is also a genius of marrying scripted bits with impromptu gems.

Overall I wasn’t disappointed. I enjoyed the revelry and twisted wit of Cohen.

What did you see this weekend?

Climb Every Mountain

2007-04-06T08:38:00.000-05:00

With Easter coming this Sunday, I’ve become a bit nostalgic. Easter conjures up clear visions and smells with a healthy dose of pop culture. America is such a marketing savvy nation that most Baby Boomers and beyond have specific pop culture ties to holidays and therefore their memories. What would Christmas be without the Grinch and Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree? You can’t celebrate the 4th of July without fireworks, picnic or a parade.

With that said, allow me to indulge myself with an ode to Easter.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

I will be honest. I didn’t see the Sound of Music in its entirety until my senior year in high school. I knew the music and that it was played on TV every Easter. It wasn’t until I landed the role of Mother Abbess in my high school’s production that a light went on. That’s right I pioneered non-traditional casting in my small Ohio town. Fox Family is running the musical today, tomorrow and Sunday.

It’s Okay to Come Out

This will prove my traditional upbringing. Easter Sunday is the first day to wear white, as in pants and shoes. Even though I live in Miami. I bring out my whites on Easter and retire them on Labor Day. My mom would be so proud.

Eggs, Eggs and more Eggs

This was huge in my house growing up. We would color about three dozen eggs. It was like performing a mini science experience when you mixed the tiny color tab, vinegar and hot water. A miracle. My sister and I played Picasso while making a mess all over our mother’s kitchen table. We didn’t eat the eggs but loved to decorate them. Good times. Good times.

The Pig

My family is not that big on pig besides bacon and sausage and the occasional pork chop but we had to have ham for Easter. Forget the pretty Honey-baked ham. My mom does the old school ham with pineapples, cherries and cloves on the sides. Delicious.

A Dentist’s Nightmare

Between those scary cheap chocolate bunnies with the bulging candy eyes and the sugary marshmallow confection known as Peeps, I was on a 48 hour sugar high. It’s amazing I remember anything about Easter. My taste has refined a bit. Now I can’t live without the bunny shaped sweet tarts and pastel M & Ms.

What are your Easter traditions?

Why?

2007-04-05T09:45:00.000-05:00

Call me naïve or dense but sometimes I honestly feel like a 5-year-old. I’m constantly asking myself why. On this good Thursday as my mind is firmly planted on the weekend and my bed, I thought maybe you the all wise reader might have some answers for me.

Why is there another season of The Simple Life?

It’s not that I think I’m too good for the show. Honey, I watch I Love New York, The Search For the Next Doll, American Idol and a variety of other pleasing guilty pleasure television but the Simple Life is downright obnoxious and mean-spirited. Paris and Nicole are often vapid, clueless and malicious in their interactions with other people. They say they are playing a character but it is a reality show and I think they are just showing us their ugly dark side and what passes as humor in their inner circle.

Why is Britney Spears wearing a bad Frederick’s of Hollywood wig?

Poor Brit can’t seem to hold her head high and sport her bald head. How bold and provocative would it be for her go out bald? And that’s fine but why the cheap synthetic wig with bad hat combo. She has enough money to get a small Swedish fishing village to shave their heads and personally weave a wig for her. I don’t understand who is advising her.

Why is Amy Winehouse glorified as the new Sid Vicious?

We all know how that turned out. Here’s a brilliant young singer with great promise poised to bring classic blue-eyed soul and R & B back to pop radio. She’s also a raging alcoholic or at least that’s what her handlers want you to believe. Though, that seems to be on target. Are her handlers prepared to reign in the behavior or are we going to watch this talent implode? She reminds me a lot of Pete Doherty. It’s not the 80s. Cokeheads and drunks are only amusing for one album.

What questions are you pondering?

I Left My Heart in San Francisco

2007-04-04T13:36:00.000-05:00

Last night the planets aligned on American Idol. All of the budding Idols didn’t suck on standard night. Even Sanjaya flattened down his mop and tried to honestly sing. It still came off as a bad high school production of Guys and Dolls but at least he made some effort. Tony Bennett was the mentor/coach and was extremely kind to the wannabes.

At this point in the competition, two things are starting to piss me off. First, the contestants don’t seem capable of listening to the celebrity coach. Despite stellar advice from the old timers (Lulu, Bennett, Diana Ross) and the current rage (Gwen Stefani), the Idols refuse to stop adding needless riffs and melodies and interpret the proper meaning to a song. That’s the problem with having such young and inexperienced people in the competition. It would be something if they were adding a new element that worked but several have tried and failed.

My other issue is with the styling. Now is not the time to fall apart in the fashion/hair category. There seems to be malicious intent from stylists or maybe Paula is adding her special touch to the finalists. Jordin has looked 10 pounds heavier two weeks in a row due to bulky unflattering outfits. Haley’s hairpieces must be from the Dolly Parton collection. They are puffy and pageant quality. Richard and Blake are stuck in the man/boy stage where wearing suits and sneakers are adorable as well as caps tilted to the side.

Here’s the low down on last night’s performances:

Blake-Mack the Knife

Finally another performance without beat boxing. He wasn’t that bad. His vocals were a bit thin but he delivered.

Phil-Night and Day

This is the best he has sounded in some time. The only problem is his inability to connect with the audience. Technically it was great but it didn’t seem romantic. The glare off his head was also distracting.

Melinda-I’ve Got Rhythm

She needed this up-tempo tune. She was everything she needed to be and more. However, her next selection must be fast and show more range musically. She’s already proven that she can tackle any genre with her seasoned voice but needs to show more youth. Rock out.

Chris-Don’t Get Around Much Anymore

Didn’t appreciate the Michael Jackson moves. He wasn’t able to put his R&B flavor in this song but made a valiant effort. The judges raved but it seemed weak to me.

Jordin-On a Clear Day

I wasn’t crazy about this song. For some reason it seemed a bit too obscure and unfamiliar. I didn’t think she sold the story of the song. Technically it worked but there was no connection or traces of her usual bubbly personality.

Gina-Smile

The rocker had trouble with this gentle tender song. It was boring. Usually the lyrics of such a simple song carries it through but she didn’t radiant enough energy to make it soar. Consistency is going to cause her exit.

Sanjaya-Cheek to Cheek

He sang.

Haley-Ain’t Misbehavin’

This song was out of her league. She didn’t have enough sass to pull it off. Instead she looked like a Miss America talent reject. Her little kicks and coos were comical.

Lakisha- Stormy Weather

Kiki and the girls had a great time. Her vocals were flawless. However, she totally wiped her ass with Bennett’s recommendation that she skip the last ad lib and end on the big note. She should have listened.

The bottom three will be Phil, Chris and Haley.

What do you think?

The Law of Attraction

2007-04-03T08:34:00.000-05:00

Have you ever caught yourself inexplicably attracted to a person, show or topic? I catch myself doing this all the time. I’m constantly fascinated with things that shock and amaze me. I like to think I’m a discerning educated and worldly women with great taste but I also reason that I’m a Gemini, woman and fancy myself complex. People know I’m a lady entranced by cults, crystal meth, eating disorders and the mafia. With that said I just had to articulate my deep fascination with the following things.

I Love New York

I’m not so much proud to say I watch this program on lazy days as much as I’m astonished by my level of interest. New York and her tranny mother are crazy ass bitches who put black folks back about 20 years. It’s a modern day minstrel show. The men are emotional and conniving. What type of man signs up for a show with a woman like this? But then again what type of person watches this show? Guilty.

The Hills

I watch this show and I’m in high school again pissed off at my best friend who keeps going back to her jerk boyfriend. I literally yell at Heidi through the screen. Don’t’ move in with that pancake head freak!! But she doesn’t hear me. I identify with these young girls trying to discover themselves.

Country Music Television

I’m not much on country music. My dad is an old school devotee. I grew up watching way too much Hee Haw for my liking. Besides the Dixie Chicks and old school tunes, I wouldn’t buy any country but I adore this channel. They have a program called Crossroads that pairs country crooners with rock artists. Brilliant. Heart with Wynona. James Taylor with the Dixie Chicks. I also get a kick out of country lyrics and videos. Country Badonkadonk. Hilarious.

Snoop Dog

His marijuana-infused persona is hypnotic to me. Not in a sexy way but in a way that I’m sure I could be good friends with him. He’s down with everyone. From the beaches of Brazil with Pharrel to the ghettos of Puerto Rico with Daddy Yankee.

The Girls Next Door

Love. Love. Love. These women. Okay, I really adore Hugh Hefner and his pioneering mind. The girls are just part of the package. I love being a voyeur in the Playboy Mansion. I will visit one day.

Scientology

Is it a religion? Self help? I know it’s a marketing bonanza. Their own language of scientific terms. I love that a premium is set on celebrities. What basis is that for success of a religion? Why do you have to pay to advance?

What fascinates you?

There she is ...

2007-04-02T08:45:00.000-05:00

Miss America. I was saddened to read that the Miss America pageant has been dropped by CMT leaving it without a home. Read here. It seems that our pop culture has made an interesting turn where young ladies instead of wanting to be the big-haired smiling 1950s personification of wholesome beauty (Miss America) would rather be the vampy high-paying but minimally talented new millennium’s personification of beauty (The Search for the Next Doll).

It’s the battle as old as time beauty queens vs. pop tarts. I remember as a young girl watching beauty pageants with my mother. We marveled in evening gowns, bathing suits, lacquered hair and baton twirling. We looked forward to the festivities. It bonded us. Tradition. Don’t get me wrong. I never wanted to be Miss America but I sure loved the ceremony. It was probably the closest a girl could get to being a princess without marrying some homely European royal. Every little girl’s dream. The pomp and circumstance. I reveled in the hokey middle America charm. Tradition.

Even back then there was controversy around the usefulness of the bathing suit competition. The judging of beauty. I’m sure that seems silly today when you compare it to such competitions as the Search for the Next Doll. Where are the activist protesting the new genre of beauty competitions and reality shows? It’s hard for me to imagine a mother and daughter bonding over these programs. Little girls want to be Paris Hilton not Miss America. Even the Miss USA/Miss Universe has tarted up their imagine. I mean, a former Miss USA went to rehab and was able to retain her crown and title.

I just felt a little melancholy and nostalgic when I read this article. Our society has changed so much and little girls everywhere are getting the shaft. I feel loss. Tradition.

What are your thoughts?

Open Letter to American Idol Voters

2007-03-29T09:04:00.000-05:00

After last night’s American Idol injustice, I’ve drafted an open letter to all of those haters who are keeping the dream (Sanjaya) alive. It reads:

Dear American Idols Voters,

I GET IT!!! While supposedly a singing/talent contest, American Idol is really a popularity contest. I GET IT !!! It reminds you of that bubbly cheerleader/cute honor student/mean girl who made fun of your unfashionable glasses/big googly eyes/name. The girl/bitch or guy/dickhead who made your life impossible or made your self-esteem plummet so far you didn’t attend homecoming/prom/class reunion. I GET IT!!! Pop singers are highly overpaid marginal singers/slinky dancers/pimped out MTV products. I GET IT!!! You’re disgruntled/underpaid/underappreciated and want to make a statement/stick it to the man/prove that you are right. MESSAGE RECEIVED!

However, it’s ONLY a talent contest. GET OVER IT. Through all of this incessant bullshit and media hype surrounding the movement to vote for the worst, was there ever a thought for the ramifications for 17-year-old Sanjaya. This poor fragile awkward kid has to come back week after week and warble to snickers. While it shows a lot of courage in his perseverance, it seems to be taking its toll on him personally. Every week he seems to be sinking further and further. Not to mention the scathing reviews and criticism flying his way.

So congratulations. In your perverse quest to rig a talent competition, you are making a mockery of an innocent teenage boy. Way to go. You must be so proud. But here’s the kicker. American Idol producers will NEVER allow Sanjaya to win because that would be the end of the show. Gone. No more sexual ambiguity with Ryan Seacrest. No more tight knit sweaters for Simon Cowell. Paula Abdul would have to pick up her pom poms and become a Laker Girl while Randy Jackson would have to call one of those names he keeps dropping. Keeping Sanjaya on the show is a ratings ploy that keeps the calls coming in and message boards buzzing. I wouldn’t be surprised if Vote For the Worst was the idea of the crafty AI producers and creators. I’m just throwing it out there. Not to mention there was genuine talent to come off the show. It may not be your cup of tea but millions of Americans are buying CDs and going along for the ride.

So, to you voters. Get over yourself. Turn the channel. Get a hobby and let Sanjaya go home.

Sincerely,

Pop Culture Diva

Can I get an amen?

American Idol Power Outage

2007-03-28T13:51:00.000-05:00

The energy was extremely low on American Idol last night but the tunes were hot. Guest mentor Gwen Stefani brought the heat with her unique musical selections. The theme was No Doubt, Stefani’s solo music and her other inspirations, which included The Cure, The Police and Donna Summers. The songs were a vibrant selection from a modern songbook. Unfortunately, the young performers didn’t bring much energy or youth to the songs. The Idols need to start listening to the mentors as they talk about oversinging and the economy of runs and excessive beat boxing.

The AI stylists must enjoy playing little tricks on the contestants because they looked like ahot mess. Sanjaya caught the brunt of the most vicious joke with his ridiculous faux-hawk. Boots were made for walking as most of the girls sported a pair. Poor Jordin wore a circle skirt that made her look 10 pounds heavier through the hips and Melinda looked like a cast member of The Brady Bunch: A Musical.

Here’s a low down on the night’s performances:

LaKisha-Last Dance

The girl has a voice but was lackluster with the Donna Summers disco ditty. She didn’t bring anything new to the vocals but her strong voice and consistent performances should keep her in the running another week.

Chris S.-Every Little Thing She Does is Magic

Not my favorite Police song but still a classic. He was proficient but where is the spunky alternative popster with quirky song choices. I think the stress is working him over. He may actually be the first AI finalist to gain weight. Homey was ahead of the music. Is he the rare singer without rythmn?

Gina-I’ll stand By You

I thought she gave the vocal of the night. If she could bring that emotion and intensity every week, she’d be a strong contender. I love the fragility of her voice. Exceptional. She needed this performance.

Sanjaya-Bath Water

Between the ridiculous hair, weak vocals and blank stare, I was underwhelmed. He’s just given up and stopped trying. I know I gave up three weeks ago.

Haley-True Colors

Poor girl. After baring her body last week, she did a 180 and went back to her pageant form. Her vocals were uninspired and her hairpiece looked like it belonged to a Connecticut soccer mom.

Phil-Every Breath You Take

Why did the creepiest guy in the competition perform the creepiest stalker song? I’m just glad he covered his shiny head. The performance was softer than usual therefore making it pleasant and less forced.

Melinda-Heaven Knows

This is one of my favorite Donna Summers tunes. I wish she had picked a No Doubt song to flex her rock muscle but she played it save. What is there to say about this girl? Even on a ho hum song, she’s articulate, emotional and fun to watch.

Blake-Love Song

I adore this Cure song. I appreciated Gwen’s honesty in stating that he needs to be careful with the beat boxing. He took it out and it was much better but highlights the fact that his vocals are weak. He needs to prove that he can really sing. He just feels like a random person trying to get into showbiz and not a dedicated singer. I think he’d much rather be an actor. I don’t feel his passion for music.

Jordin-Hey Baby

This was a tough song but she tried to work it out. She didn’t quite nail it but at least the words were coherent, which is tough on a song like this. Her spunk and gumption will keep her in there another week. She should have picked I’m Just a Girl. I’m surprised none of the girls selected it.

Chris R-Don’t Speak

I liked his R&B tinged version. He just looks so unsure and awkward. If he had a boost of confidence, he would miss the bottom three. Unfortunately, he may not get the opportunity to achieve that growth.

I think the bottom three will be Sanjaya, Chris R. and Haley.

What do you think?

Tuesday Musings

2007-03-27T08:57:00.000-05:00

With so much swirling around in the news, I thought it would be the perfect day for random thoughts. From the headlines, through my brain and on this page. Here are my Tuesday Musings:

Just Say No

I know people do drugs but how did Anna Nicole Smith manage to hold her head up with the boatload of drugs coursing through here veins. Nine drugs. Read about it here. Sweet Jesus!! No wonder she looked like Weekend at Bernie’s with Howard K. Stern playing the Andrew McCarthy role. I’m appalled that she was surrounded by people that allowed this to happen. No one looked out for her. And Howard can play the innocent role but he facilitated the entire event. Instead of insisting that she seek genuine medical intervention, he took her to the Seminole Hard Rock in Florida.

This is the man who said he loved her and fathered her baby. Why didn’t he try harder? You can’t tell me that Howard wasn’t the one injecting her in the butt. If he wasn’t, he still knew it was going on. Shame on him. It’s understandable that she was in tremendous emotional distress but nine drugs in your system. Now this was a women who could have benefited from the new rehab trend. Now Howard has custody of a baby. Diabolical. He was also present when Anna’s son Daniel died in the same tragic manner. Pathetic. Sad. Unfortunate. Tragic.

The media whore that he is, I’d like to see him explain his way out of this on Oprah.

Leg Watch: Week Two

Dammit! It won’t pop off. I’m starting to feel duped. Heather Mills was actually good last night on Dancing With the Stars. She still looked like an evil troll and the outfit was a ball if spandex confusion. I’m not a big fan of Paul McCartney but I have to admit there is something preventing me from connecting with his soon to be ex. Despite her off stage drama, I can’t say it enough but it takes a whole lot of balls to appear on the show during this turbulent episode in her life and tote around her designer prosthetic. Her mambo was leagues above the tight-assed versions by perky Leeza Gibbons and still gorgeous Paula Porizkova but not as smoldering as Laila Ali.

Go Sit Down Somewhere

Brit Brit made it out of rehab in one piece but couldn’t resist the temptation to hit the stores for some retail therapy and dinner. Not for nothing but what’s the point of having these huge fancy sprawling fortress homes if you can’t enjoy them. I don’t understand why she can’t chill out for a week or two and have the party come to her. She has enough money that she can have any food or service delivered to her house. She can also shop online or have a stylist bring pieces to her house. She needs to stay underground for a decent amount of time. Go sit down somewhere.

What are you thinking about today?

Red Heads, Rabbit Feet and other Annoyances

2007-03-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting weekend of movies. One with a phenomenal performance and another that deprived me of 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back. I was able to finally see Half Nelson. It was on my Netflix list when it was in theaters. I’ve been a fan of Ryan Gosling since The Believer (Great film. See it) but I wanted to see what gave this budding thespian his first Oscar nod.

Half Nelson tells the story of young educator Dan Dunne (Gosling) as he navigates his drug addiction while motivating inner city kids through his history classes. He forges a friendship with one of his students Drey (Shareeka Epps) after she finds him hittin’ the pipe. Drey is coming to terms with losing her brother to the prison system while his drug dealing friend Frank (Anthony Mackie) tries taking over a brother-like role.

The film is masterful in setting tone and showing the daily lives of these characters. In true independent style, this movie moves at a meandering pace. Kinda like a French movie. You just sit and wait to see where the film takes you. Half Nelson lacks that artificial feeling where the plot drives the character’s actions without cause. The film is soley about Gosling’s performance, charisma and chemistry with his young actors.

He is such an expressive emotional actor. His character was bombed throughout the movie yet he pulled it together for his class. It makes you wonder how many addicts exist on this level. He managed to express this teacher’s joy, inspiration and anguish through a drug-induced haze. Brilliant! There were several scenes that broke my heart with their fragility. Two involved Drey finding Dan high while the other was a torturous trip to Dan’s parent’s wine soaked house.

Epps was outstanding as a junior high student trying to overcome her surroundings. Here foray into the drug culture was tense. She has a real freshness that comes with an acting debut. I enjoyed their interactions. I truly believed this is what a friendship would be like between a young teacher and student. Overall the movie was an in depth look at unlikely friendships and drug addiction. It seemed to be about 10 minutes too long but kept me involved.

I wish the same could be said for the 2006 Lindsey Lohan vehicle Just My Luck. Yes, I watched this 80s-style rip off on Cinemax. Don’t judge me. I like to think I’m diverse in my film selections. All I can say is that this movie was ridiculous from the first scene of Ashley Albright (Lohan) having such great luck that she doesn’t require an umbrella. As her public relations agency boss was stuck in an elevator, lucky Ashley successfully pitched the high-powered record exec. Yeah right. To make things sillier, she is given an office and company credit card. Meanwhile, we meet unlucky Jake Hardin (Chris Pine). This poor guy is so unfortunate that when he finds a five dollar bill it’s smeared with dog poop. Yuck! A chance meeting and kiss reverses their luck.

I’m usually down with the teeny bopper fantasy flicks but this movie didn’t work on several levels. For someone who doesn’t believe in luck, she spends a big chunk of the movies trying to get her mojo back. I also love that making the hunky guy wear big glasses and a huge backpack makes him Urkel. I could see his hotness through the dated frames.

It’s hard to imagine this is the same girl that was in Mean Girls. It’s an uninspired movie and acting. I know you’re supposed to suspend your belief in movies like this but it was close to impossible.

What did you see this weekend?

What is this man doing?

2007-03-22T10:18:00.000-05:00

Click on the link above. He’s playing an air guitar. In fact, he is an air guitar Hall of Famer. I had read for years that there is a National Air Guitar Championship but until you see the pictures, it doesn’t seem real. Real peculiar. I’m not hear to knock their hustle or “sport” but this is so bizarre, I had to look up their website. They even have their own gear.

If there is an Air Guitar Championship, there must be a competition for everything. Where are the competitions for my talents? The International Taco Bell Munching Championship or the National Eye Rolling and Sassy Hand on the Hip Competition. I could be a Hall of Famer in the Sarcasm Olympics. I know this is great fun and I’ve been known to play a mean air keyboard but would I dress up with a Hello Kitty breastplate and bare my soul. Not really. But you have to admire the abandon and passion of these competitors. Check them out here.

What championship would be home to your special talents?

Sell it! Dammit!!

2007-03-21T09:29:00.000-05:00

Another night of American Idol, another night of lackluster performances. Don’t get me wrong there was more fire last night but unfortunately it was a slow burning ember. Some contestants still haven’t been able to shake their nerves and perform up to their potential. Unfortunately, for those singers they are being out sung by those who are thriving. The real test of the next weeks is who can mix up their act and who we will grow tired of after several weeks.

The budding Idols tackled the British Invasion, which I thought was genius. This was a genre never approached before. The songs are timeless and simple. You can try your runs and vocal gymnastics on them but it is pointless. Peter Noone and Lulu were comforting and helpful in their coaching. The singers would be smart to listen to their advice. Every week they are told to interpret the song. Know what it means and convince the audience that they believe it. Sell it.

Here’s a recap:

Haley Scarnato-Tell Him

Haley totally sold the song with a little pep in her step, hot pants, high heels and a backless top. She found her confidence and personality. She finally sang like she deserved to be in the competition. It was just unfortunate that she had to sing first but her leggy action will keep the young boys voting.

Chris Richardson-Don’t Let the Sun Get You Crying

He tries and he tries but I don’t think he has the chops to continue for much longer. This song was great at showcasing his voice. He cut down on the runs and just sang. However, the night showcased him as one of the weaker vocalists. At the end he went for a sexy look but instead looked like he had just eaten some rancid Taco Bell. His charm will keep him around but he’ll have to distinguish himself from the other Justin Timberlake wannabe.

Stephanie Edwards-You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me

This is a haunting song that at least one Idol in training attempts each season. Stephanie was stripped of her energy and phoned in this breathy and weak vocal. Her Beyonce spin didn’t work this time. She needs to return to her soulful vibe.

Blake Lewis-Time of the Season

His whole Rerun from What’s Happening meets Jamiraqui is irritating and starting to seem less original every week. Yes he successfully updated the tune. Impressive. But the constant moonwalking and beat boxing is trying. Strip all the dancing and sound effects and you have a thin voice that lacks tone. Would you buy an album entirely engulfed in beat boxing? Not if it isn’t 1985 and Dougie Fresh isn’t on the mic.

LaKisha Jones-Diamonds Are Forever

I thought this was an interesting choice for her that showcased her range and flexibility. The dress was figure flattering and vibrant. I loved the campy drag queen quality. I thought it was refreshing. The over the top hand waving at the end was fantastic.

Phil Stacey-Tobacco Road

Poor fella looks too much like a vampire or some other mythical creature. His manic performance was unsettling. The song’s energy met his but I felt his voice was unsuited for the challenge. He reminded me of the guy who played Jennifer Anniston’s brother in The Break Up. I keep waiting for him to break into Owner of the Lonely Heart.

Jordin Sparks-I Who Have Nothing

She gave the performance of the night. It was moody and torch-like. I loved her hair and dress. Here’s a perfect example of someone who inhabited the song. The words were simple, the voice was clear. Perfection.

Sanjaya Malakar-You Really Got Me

Finally the timid mouse woke from his slumber. He was still soft spoken and pitchy but at least we knew he had a pulse. This is what we were waiting for. He’s still way too green for the show but at least he didn’t get laughed off the stage.

Sidebar: Unhinged crying girl’s parents need to get her help. She was too unstable and overstimulated for it to be cute.

Gina Glocksen-Paint It Black

She tried hard but she is too unpredictable to make it in the long run. It was better than last week but she still seemed to be holding back. It’s the freaking Rolling Stones. It’s all about attitude and swagger. Both were in short demand. At one point she broke into the 80s dance and looked like one of the Go Gos. J brought up a hilarious point that as she’s yelling Black! Black! They are showing the African-American drummer wailing away.

Chris Sligh-She’s Not There

I like this guy but I think nerves are picking him apart. He’s moving away from his alternative pop persona and heading towards boring drone. He spent too much time navigating the audience without interaction and less time on conveying the message of the song.

Melinda Doolittle-As Long As He Needs Me

Now this girl can sell a song. I loved her conviction and interpretation of the song. I appreciate that you can always understand the lyrics. Bravo.

Sanjaya, Phil and Chris Richarson will be the bottom three.

What did you think?

The Matter of the Pesky Leg

2007-03-20T09:44:00.000-05:00

Ah! Will the leg fly off? That was the big question last night on the season opener of Dancing with the Stars. First the use of “stars” is suspect considering no one knows Heather Mills outside of the UK besides Beatles groupies and tabloid junkies like myself but that didn’t stop us from camping out in front of the TV on leg watch Week 1. The producers were brilliant to keep her next to last because I wasn’t movin’ until she danced.

DWTS is that surprise hit. Who knew ballroom dancing with a bunch of Z-list actors, singers, assorted pop culture misfits and retired athletes would be a ratings goldmine? I adore watching people learn a new art form especially celebrities. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself in ruffled shirts, spandex pants and dresses with slits up to your tonsils.

Here’s a rundown on the stars and their happy feet:

The Front Runners

Every season has its share of likable dancers. Laila Ali seems to truly float like a butterfly and keep her arrogant partner in check. She’s gorgeous, sexy and a real sized woman. Joey Fatone has the most personality and you know that will get you votes. All the years as a boybander has left him with great rhythm and amazing showmanship. The soul patch and bandana of Apolo Anton Ohno survived another Olympic season. Pairing him with an 18-year-old Christina Aguilera look-a-like could be challenging- for them to keep their hands off each other. Plus he’s still training for upcoming speed skating competitions.

The Leg

I’m not trying to be mean but Heather Mills looked like a creature out of the Harry Potter book and her outfit was hideous in color and design. And they need to stop calling her a charity campaigner. What the hell is that? Call her an activist or fundraiser. With that said, I give her immense respect for attempting this especially with her in the middle of an ugly divorce. Oh, and having the fake leg.

The Aged

Entertainment reporter Leeza Gibbons is charming in her bubbly beauty pageant ways. She can smile through anything but I thought she was going to well up when they blasted her dance steps. Actor John Ratzenberger filled in at the last minute and pulled off a pretty good cha cha for only having two weeks training. He looked like a dancing panda at a wedding.

The Challenged

Former Miss USA Shandi Finnessey is cute but hardly striking or even mildly interesting and she’s saddled with the youngest male dancer who seems to be hopped up on pixie sticks and Mountain Dew. Country crooner Billy Ray Cyrus nearly scalped his partner while stripping her of her wig. The good news is he looks great devoid of his mullet and is acting and recording music. The bad news is we have to watch him drag his heavy legs across the dance floor. It’s painful but he has an affable sense of humor.

The Others

Supermodel and rocker wife Paulina Porizkova looks stunning. She has absolutely no accent now and is trying like hell to distinguish herself in this competition. Ian Ziering still has too much 90210 Steve in him to be compelling for me. He gave a valiant first time effort and I imagine he will get better with time but will his cocky TV character come back to haunt him.

The Smiling Underdog

Clyde “The Glide “Drexler is this year’s underdog. He will be the one to root for and athletes always do well on this show. He has a sweet nature and takes his training seriously but his gangly frame may be too much to compensate.

Who are you rooting for?

Samuel and His Amazing Technicolor Wigs

2007-03-19T14:27:00.000-05:00

The Departed and Borat are still collecting dust at my house. You can now add Half Nelson to that list but I suspect I’ll have watched that by the end of the week. I went to the movies for the second week in a row. Watch out now! Back in my heyday, I went to the movie theatre two times every weekend. Due to time constraints, I’m a lot more select about what I see.

Black Snake Moan was my choice yesterday. Brought to us by the writer/director of Hustle & Flow Craig Brewer, BSM tells the story of Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson), a reclusive farmer and retired bluesman who is reeling from his wife leaving him. A parallel story is told of the emotionally fragile Rae (Christina Ricci) whose boyfriend Ronnie (Justin Timberlake) has just left for the National Guard. Ronnie’s departure leads Rae back into her old role as the town slut, a role that leaves her beaten up and half naked near Lazarus’ remote home. There is no great surprise that Lazarus chains Rae to his radiator to cure her evil sinful ways but what follows is great storytelling and human nature.

The profound thing about this film is Jackson and Ricci who both disappear into their characters. This wouldn’t have worked with Will Smith or Scarlett Johansson. They simply don’t inhabit their roles completely enough to make this believable. Watching Jackson is like viewing a master class on acting. It’s fun to see what wigs he will wear and how they connect to the character. This time around he went for Grady-chic just like Fred Sanford’s crusty sidekick. Ricci breathes life and humanity into the girl from the wrong side of the tracks that faces her abusive past through sexual encounters.

The other great thing about the film is the sultry hot southern location. The south lends itself to colorful characters with eccentric habits. It’s a nice escape from the usual slick polished characters and plots of most blockbuster films. The plot exists on a realistic plane with the support of the always-stellar S. Epatha Merkerson as the sweet pharmacist with a liking for Lazarus. I enjoyed John Cothran Jr. as the town minister and Lazaro’s childhood buddy Reverend R.L. I liked his practical religious take on Rae’s situation. He acts as confidant and counselor to several characters in the film. Hell, Timberlake held his own in this movie. Granted much of the role called for him to be in some state of anxiety but he did it convincingly. I didn’t snicker once while he was on screen.

The soundtrack was absolutely haunting. The old school blues set the tone and understanding the characters. Lovely. the ending was a little too packaged for me but at least the characters weren't completely changed. I appreciate that the movie didn’t take the convenient route of making them lovers. It reminded me of other excellent films that brought lonely people together under extraordinary circumstances like Monster’s Ball and Lost in Translation. Loneliness has a way of bonding unlikely people.

What did you see this weekend?

Who made your Top 3?

2007-03-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

Lately, I’ve been on a classic rock jag. I listen a radio station that fills my need for earthy 70s rock and other staples. I’ve really been feeling Bad Company and Foreigner. With that said, a local deejay is compiling a list of the most over-hyped rock bands/singers or the most underrated. I immediately thought of Pink Floyd and Judas Priest as overrated and Journey and Heart as underrated. I was intrigued by the idea.

Then it came to me. Why not apply this to actors? You already know my theory about movie stars vs. actors and the invention of the funky hybrid. This is an important question. The Hollywood star-making machine is a strong adversary. It can make movie stars out of anyone. People are stripped of their real names, dyed to perfection, molded into a matinee idol and plucked into an important film with major film stars.

Here are my picks for overrated actors:

Jennifer Anniston

No surprises here. I just don’t get he appeal. She’s not especially gifted as an actor or transcendent in her beauty. I don’t understand why she continues to get film work. She was bearable on the little screen but is dwarfed in motion pictures.

Tom Cruise

You know he is the bee in my bonnet. He plays the same character in every movie. The cocky guy who goes through something traumatic and is humbled and changed by the experience. With the exception of Magnolia, he is hyped beyond belief.

Lindsey Lohan

Does this girl even act anymore? I liked Mean Girls and thought her performance showed great promise but her private life has overshadowed her acting career, which is a waste. Young girls need someone to look up to. Who in the young guard is going to inspire teenage girls?

These actors are totally underrated:

Hugh Laurie

He is so unbelievably good in House. He’s crafted a complex character that could have easily been unlikable but you love him. He’s the Archie Bunker for the new millennium. While considered a drama, House plays like a comedy. He flirts with comedy and drama while outlining an original character.

Rachel McAdams

This starlet is definitely on the rise. She has that likable quality that makes her feel like your best friend. Kinda like a young Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts. The chemistry with her male co-stars in undeniable. Her beau Ryan Gosling is another underrated soul though his Oscar nom gives him more cred.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

She’s a cult favorite but has yet to really make it into mainstream movies and maybe that’s a blessing. Rumor has it she’ll fill the Katie Holmes void in the next Batman movie. She brings a grit and intelligence to her roles. I admire that indie streak that keeps her interesting. I also dig her partner Peter Sarsgaard.

Who do you think are the top 3 overrated and underrated actors?

Meow

2007-03-15T10:18:00.000-05:00

Boy, I really must have too much time on my hands because I’ve watched the Search the Next Doll. I literally Forrest Gumped my way into watching it twice. The first time was Sunday evening. I flipped the channel, ran into it and just continued to watch. All the bright colors, big air and thumpin’ music kept me transfixed. I’d like to say it’s a lot like America’s Next Top Model but it’s a watered down version at best.

First, who are the Pussycat Dolls? Tarted up Spice Girls without distinct personalities. There is no Baby or Scary. They are a vamped up version of a standard girl group if Hugh Hefner were to put them together. Don’t get me wrong. Their songs are catchy and I liked a few Spice Girl ditties. Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me is brilliant and I’ve been known to do a mean car dance to Buttons but they are not exactly Simon & Garfunkel taking music into new territory.

To hear the PCD creator pontificate you’d think they have revolutionized pop music. I’m not knocking their hustle but let’s put this in perspective before they get all Madonna on us. They are sexy girls with limited talent that warble funked up pop songs. I’m slightly scared of the contestant’s admiration for the group, which borders on fanaticism. An 18-year-old is too green for these grinding divas yet there are a few young ones up to the task. Their parents must be so proud since college doesn’t seem to be an option.

The opening show highlighted the wannabes struggle to make the final 9. Unfortunately, a stomach virus ripped through the kitten’s lair forcing half of the girls to be in various states of vomiting. When did it become acceptable or desirable to see people puke on television? It’s nasty. Isn’t that why you usually turn away or close your eyes when a friend throws up after a long night of partying? Really!! Apparently, a PCD has to do a show regardless of uncontrollable stomach spasms, vomiting and dehydration. Girls were bumping and grinding in between turns at the IV.

The Search for the Next PCD works a lot like ANTM in that pretty girls realize that being pretty isn’t enough. Gotta love that. The best part is when the girls perform at the end of the episode. Then you find out who’s full of shit and who rocks. Imagine the feeling after being told that you’re not classy enough for the PCD. These are women that perform in lingerie. Ouch!

I can pretty much take this or leave it. It’s obviously a shameless marketing tool but if by chance it’s on my screen I’ll end up watching it again. I’m so weak.

Have you been watching? Fess us and tell me what you think?

The Dirty Dozen

2007-03-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

Last night was a hot mess on American Idol. I will say that the final 12 are a unique blend of talent and no talent. However, at this point there is no excuse for forgetting the words to your songs. The finalists had the challenge of a lifetime in bringing Diana Ross songs to life. I especially give credit to the men for finding anything in her music book. She was extremely pleasant and mother hen-like to the singers but I did notice that they all called her Ms. Ross. Some did look her in the eye. Diana, I mean Ms. Ross must have mellowed over the years.

The judges have been amazingly honest and on point this season- even Paula. Despite her teary tirade following Melinda Doolittle’s performance, she has been much more in tune to technique. Simon as always has been honest. Randy has chilled out and now leans more toward Simon in thought.

Here’s my take on last night’s performances:

Brandon Rogers

This guy is so unremarkable I’m appalled. I think there is more talent in him but he fades in the crowd. Who forgets the word to You Can’t Hurry Love? He also has an annoying habit of smiling during every song. Happy or sad he’s smiling. He doesn’t connect with the words therefore he doesn’t connect with the audience.

Melinda Doolittle

Clearly the most expressive and diverse vocalist in this competition. I’m always surprised that more people don’t perform Home. When it’s done right, you get chills at the end. I got chills. I just hope voters remember this is a singing contest. I’m afraid she’ll be cast aside because she’s not a conventional beauty and looks old for her age. If you took her voice, Haley Scarnato’s body and Jordin Sparks energy, you’d have the dream contestant.

Chris Sligh

The Jack Osbourne clone made the mistake of re-working Endless Love into a Coldplay-esque tune. I appreciate the effort but he took the tenderness and meaning out of the song. If a song is truly great, you don’t have to rearrange the melody. It stands up on its’ own and your personal vocals help brand it not the music. He horribly missed the mark.

Gina Glocksen

I like the rocker chick. I hope she sticks around. She was one of the better singers of the evening but she missed the meaning in the song Love Child. She should have turned into the girl from the wrong side of the tracks and made the song grittier. Dirty.

Sanjaya Malakaar

Every year some unfortunate teenager is kept on longer than his talent and our ears can endure. This year, it’s Sanjaya. I can’t seem to get beyond his tiny frame and ever-changing locks. His voice is so frail you can barely hear it. His performance lacks energy and sucks the air out of the room. His rendition of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough made him look like reject from Sister Act II.

Haley Scarnato

Homegirl tried her best but managed to bungle the words to Missing You. On the parts she remembered, she had nice tone. She took her lumps like a pro. Simon was incredibly gentle with her by saying she wasn’t that bad and showed promise. It was painful watching her try to hold back tears.

Phil Stacey

This boy needs to grow hair. Whoever told him he rocks the Spock look, lied to him. His shiny forehead is distracting. His performance of I’m Gonna Make You Love Me was standard but he yells in order to get certain notes out. He’ll stick around another week.

LaKisha Jones

Kiki took the high road this week and delivered an awesome nuanced performance of God Bless the Child. I think she should have used the mic stand but that’s just me. She toned down her hair, clothes and big voice. She realized that the biggest voice doesn’t always win. Look at JHud. It’s nice to hear her voice show great range and inflection. Though, I have to say her weave looks like it’s made of plastic. Three things to spend the money on – ketchup, plastic surgery and a weave. Amen.

Blake Lewis

We get it. You Beat Box and Pop and Lock. Give us a freakin’ break. His manic stage presence doesn’t even create the needed energy to sell his songs. His rearranged Set Me Free was unnecessary. I once again appreciate the effort but adding extra beats doesn’t really make it a re-arrangement.

Stephanie Edwards

She attempted a tepid version of Love Hangover. She needs to stop the Beyonce runs and develop her own style. She missed the essence of the song, which is breathy and sexy. Plus all the fun is in the disco break where she could have danced and did some fun runs and ad-libs. She oversang the song.

Chris Richardson

You know I love me some Justin Timberlake but he has created a legion of funky white boys that want to bring SexyBack. The Boss could have been a spunky vibrant anthem but instead was riddled with half-completed runs and notes.

Jordin Sparks

Watch out for this teen. She can sing circle around all of the guys and a couple of the girls. She decided to slow it down with a horrendous ballad. I don’t know the name but she’s lucky that she has a great voice and bubbly personality because I thought it was boring.

The bottom three will be Sanjaya, Haley and Brandon. All three will have to eventually go but my hope is young Sanjaya will go softly into the night.

Who do you think will go?

What ever happened to Harry and Sally?

2007-03-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I hailed the romantic comedy as my favorite escapist pastime. A good well-paced romantic comedy can raise your spirits and lift your mood. Romantic comedies must have that winning combination of charming characters that are worth caring about, a smarter than usual plot for the genre and a fun location that absorbs you and your imagination. The planets must align.

Granted I’ve just described the Krispy Kreme of romantic comedies but they do exist. I list When Harry Met Sally, Bridget Jones Dairy, Pretty Woman, Pretty in Pink, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Return to Me among the better quality films. Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts were the reigning queens of romantic comedies but have passed the baton to Drew Barrymore and Kate Hudson. Cary Grant has let way to Hugh Grant and Matthew McConaughey.

I thought of taking a fresh approach to this subject. Instead of examining the romantic comedies I adored, I’m taking a look at the movies that didn’t work. Face it, the Hollywood marketing engine tries to force many things down our throat but not all of them work.

Here are my picks for romantic comedies that don’t adhere to the tenets of pure escapism:

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Reese Witherspoon was her usual spunky intelligent self but I really wanted her to marry McDreamy. I mean the guy closed down Tiffany’s and told her to pick any ring. It doesn’t get better than that. Josh Lucas was way too surly and somewhat nasty to be her true love. The movie didn’t work because I clearly wanted her to be with someone else.

Two Weeks Notice (2002)

The chemistry between Grant and Sandra Bullock was amazing but it didn’t entirely feel romantic to me. While I like Bullock, there’s something extremely boyish about her that kills romance movies. You have to really soften her edges to make it work. The set up was clever but the plot just dragged along. By the time they got to the end, I didn’t care. Her character was a little too opinionated and bordered on obnoxious.

Notting Hill (1999)

Hugh Grant’s charisma and talents were negated by Julia Robert’s bitch of a character. She turned him down too many times for it to be compelling. Who would have turned down the nicest single man in trendy Notting Hill? Robert’s characters are usually more interesting but her self-indulgent actress was too much for me.

You’ve Got Mail (1998)

Call me naïve. I got the fact that big business puts mom and pop shops out of business all the time. It killed the hardware stores as well but why was Tom Hank’s character branded the enemy because he offered discounted books. The entire ending of the movie felt contrived. The last half hour seemed thrown together. I was extremely disappointed in this film. I also thought Meg Ryan was annoying. Her character was so bland I couldn’t understand someone wanting to date her.

America's Sweethearts (2001)

Awful on every level. Devoid of characters to root for. The cast was wasted on what should have been a clever insider look at on-set romances but was an exercise in futility. Making Julia Roberts the former overweight sister/assistant was insulting. So the only way John Cusak would really notice her was when she lost weight. Great message. Serendipity (2001) falls into this wretched category as well. It was so contrived and filled with lifeless character that I didn’t care you found the freaking book at the end.

What romantic comedies didn’t work for you? Why?

Music to My Ears

2007-03-12T13:23:00.000-05:00

God, weekends are never long enough, are they? I didn’t get to see The Departed or Borat this weekend but did manage to get to the movies to see Music & Lyrics. I wanted to see something light and frothy. I wanted to see someone fall in love in a movie. Pure fantasy.

M&L tells the story of former 80s boy bander Alex Fisher (Hugh Grant). In dire need rejuvenate his career, he’s offered the chance to write a song for teen queen Cora. In comes his plant girl Sophie Fisher (Drew Barrymore) with a knack for lyrics. It all pretty much writes itself but what can’t be manufactured is the chemistry between Grant and Drew. They are both such charming and adorable creatures that it’s hard not to root for them. Grant has a special ingredient that mixes well with his leading ladies. He added a much needed sense of despair and complexity to his character especially for a romantic comedy.

The comic relief comes in the powerhouse form of Kristen Johnston as Sophie’s sister Rhonda. She’s hysterical as the recovering 80s boy band groupie. The opening music video sequence of Alex’s former group Pop is spot on, down to the men with too much lip gloss. It’s kind of embarrassing to say I adored Duran Duran back in the day. They had way too much lip sheen to be taken seriously. Even the idea that the band’s name was Pop was brilliant.

Drew has once again proven herself as the new princess of romantic comedies with a twist. She’s the twist. She’s able to take a conventional romantic comedy and infuse her hippy dippy nature even in a movie like Fever Pitch where she played the corporate girl. She also has that unique quality of producing tears that well up in the eyes but never drop. She joins the ranks of Meg Ryan and Meryl Streep with her crying feats. I can’t name a movie she’s been in where she doesn’t produce this cry.

Overall, it was what I needed, a sugar fix.

What did you see this weekend?

Every Teenage Boy's Wet Dream

2007-03-09T17:57:00.000-05:00

I knew that would get your attention. I saw the most outrageous music video yesterday. I decided to TiVo one of the late night video shows since that seems to be one of the few ways to see a video all the way through. MTV and VH1 seem to have given up on the full video format.

That's when I saw the new Beyonce/Shakira collaboration Beautiful Liar. It's the most shameless and gratuituos sexy video I've seen since the old Motley Crew videos. These two are stunning. It's so ridiculously over the top that at points they are simply singing each other's names. At the end, they just give up and grind against the wall. Too much. Check it out here.

What do you think?

Everybody Has One

2007-03-08T10:26:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what has happened to me but I have been downright opinionated this past week. Not in an obnoxious ‘my opinion is the only opinion’ way but more in a ‘I have a clear idea of how I feel about everything.’ It’s actually liberating. Part of my nature is to listen to people’s opinions without making a face that says I think you’re full of shit. I try to enter conversations by accepting that not everyone feels or thinks the way I do, which essentially makes them inferior. Just kidding. I’d like to think I’m evolved enough to accept different thoughts.

With that said, I have to say there are certain stories in the media that have lost their interest for me. I love a secret affair, illegitimate child and inner demons as much as the next person but our obsession with pop culture and all things celebrity has forced the media to milk stories. At some point the novelty wears off and we’re stuck with either an extremely mundane situation or pathetic/tragic downfall.

I count the following stories among those that have lost their luster for me. It’s not fun watching the freak show anymore.

TomKat

The suspect courtship and ritual-like marriage of TomKat has jumped the shark. It actually jumped the shark about two minutes after he vandalized Oprah’s couch with his shoes. I don’t know why the smiling couple’s relationship has been met with such animosity and contempt. But sometimes you just get a feeling that something ain’t right and I think the public let Top Gun & Joey (sounds like a 70s cop show) know that they weren’t fooled by their shameless attempt to turn their personal life into a photo opportunity.

Britney Spears

Poor Spock-like Brit has gone through puberty in front of the public and now we get to see her have a nervous breakdown. The minute she crawled out of that car without panties, the film should have stopped because everything since there is like watching someone pick their nose. You’re disgusted by watching it but you want to know where they’re going to put the booger. Enough with Brit. Let her recover. We don’t need Britney watch Day 2 1/2.

Brangelina

It started off as an unbelievable mixing of two of the hottest people the planet and a big FU to poor Jennifer Anniston but has turned into domestic bliss. We no longer contemplate how long they will last because they are totally immersed in their rainbow tribe of children and saving the word. Who can argue with that?

Anna Nicole Smith

She’s dead. No one knows who the father is. Call in Maury Povich.

Paris Hilton/Lindsey Lohan/Nicole Richie

They are affluent party girls who are trying to use up their 15 minutes of fame before we forget their names or they become instant pop culture footnotes. Live it up girls because I’m already over you. Though, it would be nice if you contributed something meaningful before you’re done. I don’t think The Simple Life qualifies.

What other stories aren’t fun anymore?

You Should Have Made Me Listen

2007-03-06T11:22:00.000-05:00

I’ve been warned about it and you’d think with my raging addiction and obviously susceptible personality, I would reframe from partaking but I told myself just one time. One minute. That turned into an hour. So in the name of recovery and nipping this thing in the bud, I have to admit something. Dammit! I started watching YouTube this weekend.

My blogging mentor Tere warned me of the dangers but I’m week. It started Friday night with boredom. Damn J and his having to work late. He left me alone with the computer and way too much time on my hands. It started with a Lily Allen video them went to the boozy Amy Winehouse. Then AW in live TV performances. I heard about these girls on other blogs. Loved Lily the minute I saw her video for Smile.

Then a funny thing happened. After watching the John Legend video for Save Room, I noticed that people post their covers of songs. I must have watched five versions of Save Room without blinking. I was riveted. Truly. Then I went on to original songs. I saw a young woman with a pure voice singing her original tune, which I promptly closed. I’m not much on original songs by amateurs; they always sound like melodramatic high school break up songs. I went to her version of Missing You. Amazing. Why hasn’t this girl been signed?

Then I saw her sing Nelly Furtado’s Say It Right complete with affected head movements and half-eye closed concentration in what looked like a hotel room. Slightly strange. By the time I clicked on Shania Twain’s You’re Still the One, I was howling out loud. She was seriously putting on a concert in her bedroom with full conviction. Not for nothing but I thought that was hilariously bizarre. This peculiar trend won’t prevent me from viewing the website but it has turned me off the musicians.

It wasn’t until last night that my NYC correspondent O explained people have been using YouTube as a scouting tool. Clever. I imagine there’s an urban legend brewing that the next great talent will be discovered on the website. After all, Rosie O’Donnell just brought someone on the view for this exact reason. He’s a curiosity but hardly a true artist. The caliber of talent will soon diminish as all of the American Idol rejects begin posting their own videos.

While it might not be the most direct way to start a career, YouTube is a great invention that allows everyday people to showcase their unique talent and other odd quirks. Outstanding.

What are your YouTube favorites?

Life is a Highway

2007-03-05T12:40:00.000-05:00

I’m ashamed to say I still haven’t watched The Departed but suspect this is the week it will happen. Instead I treated myself to Poseidon. Oh, did I say treated? It was more by default. It was coming on HBO and we were going to watch Miguel Coto fight afterward. Interesting tidbit about the Diva, I adore professional boxing. It’s the one sport J and I will watch together. Actually, my entire family is into boxing. I used to watch it all the time with my father.

I’ve never seen the original but according to my husband, it’s a classic. Poseidon tells the story of a cruise gone to hell. A rogue wave turns the ship and the passenger’s lives upside down. In true disaster film tradition, the cast is loaded with names. Richard Dreyfuss, Kurt Russell, Josh Lucas, Kevin Dillon, Andre Braugher and even Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas shook her lady lumps on the boat.

It was a special effects-laden movie. While it wasn’t nearly as artful as Titanic, it wasn’t clunky like Clash of the Titans either. Mercifully, it was only an hour and a half. Another 20 minutes and there would have been problems. The success of disaster films depends largely on the smarts of the people trying to overcome the situation. Dense people don’t last long in the movies while the smart folks and those who can take instruction usually make it to the end. The movie didn’t change my life but at least I wasn’t pissed to have spent 90 minutes watching the movie.

Va-Room. The weekend included another movie Cars. I’m a huge fan of the new children’s movies. They offer just as much for the adults as they do the children. Madagascar is a favorite of mine. If you don’t fall down on the floor in giggles once you meet the head of the lemurs, I’m not sure that you’re human.

Cars is a typical message movie involving a cocky racecar Lightening McQueen (voiced by Owen Wilson) who learns the lesson that you can’t do anything alone and you must slow down to enjoy life. After being stranded in a small town on his way to the “big” race, he learns the importance and comfort of community with the help of Sally (Bonnie Hunt), Doc (Paul Newman) and Mater (Larry the Cable Guy).

I found the message to community and isolation to be a bit heavy for a kid’s film. Too many messages for kids to grasp. The Academy Award nominated song Our Town was especially emotional with its accompanying visuals. Overall, I though the soundtrack was the highlight. Tunes by Rascall Flatts, Sheryl Crow, John Mayer and James Taylor made the movie pop. The comedy relief in the movie was the hysterical Luigi (Tony Shalhoub) and his side kick Guido (Guido Quaroni).

What movies did you see this weekend?

Random Mumbles

2007-03-02T12:01:00.000-05:00

Friday has become my day of random thoughts and riddle solving. Like am I shocked that Charlotte Church is pregnant by her rugby player boyfriend? Not really. Though I still hold the image of her angelic voice and cherub face. It’s kinda like Dakota Fanning getting pregnant at 21 out of wedlock (I know this is the Ohio traditional side coming out of me). I would still see her as that little blonde girl. Jenna Elfman is pregnant. Will she have a silent birth? Probably. Did Kelly Pickler get her boobs done? I don’t remember them being that big. These are some of the random thought and riddles that keep my brain sharp and my instincts cat-like.

The Ultimate SPIN

There are not enough words to say how much I love this story. Isaiah Washington has hired a gay publicist. LOVE IT. Talk about spinning the negative into a positive. It’s like Elton John performing with Eminem on the Grammy’s – a clever publicity stunt. You can say ‘I really want to change people’s perceptions of gays’ or ‘gays are cool with me I just made homophobic remarks by accident’ but at the end of the day, it’s all good publicity. Washington’s new firm put an intellectual spin on it by saying an important issue is being addressed through their union. LOVE IT.

Posh and Becks on Film

Like we haven’t seen enough of these attention-craving Brits in the last few years. Is America really interested in the aging athlete (said with love and affection) and his wicked 40-pound wife (said with controlled rage)? They haven’t made celebrity status in this country yet why would that change? Because he’s joining an American soccer team? Americans barely support the sport. Once again, the media is trying to make superstars out of people that shouldn’t receive much notice. Of course, I’m referring to Vicky. Much love and respect to her sexy hubby who has transformed the sport of soccer.

This could be a good thing. Maybe instead of photographs of the seemingly vapid Mrs. Beckham, we’ll get hard video proof that she’s as tasteless and plastic as she seems. The source of my negative energy may require extensive therapy. I just can’t shake the idea that Posh is the type of women that sets woman back 30 years.

Pink Pink and More Pink

It seems Anna Nicole Smith will finally be put to rest. I’m appalled that they even entertained her mother’s appeal. Why would she be buried with her son? There are many secrets surround the blonde. Who fathered her baby? Did Howard K. Stern stalk her? Is TrimSpa really crack? The one thing we knew for sure was her love for son. There shouldn’t have been any doubt where she’d be laid to rest.

What’s on your mind today?

America's Next Top Model-Neo Feminism or Devil's Tool

2007-03-01T11:56:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had a moment of clarity at the most unexpected time? I had one of those A-Ha moments in front of my TV last night. It was 7:55 and I was trying to figure out how to watch three shows. TiVo is my best friend but if you record two shows at once, you have to watch one of the shows. Yes, this was my dilemma last night. I ended up taping America’s Next Top Model while I watched American Idol and George Lopez/Knights of Prosperity/According to Jim.

Then it came to me. Even though I’m not emotionally attached to too many shows, I watch a lot of freakin’ television. It’s that pop culture monkey on my back. Anyway, the point of my blog isn’t my addiction; it was the new cycle of ANTM. I just felt it was important to share my revelation. It aids in the recovery process.

My NYC correspondent O introduced ANTM to me. After watching the first season, he demanded that I give this show a try. So actually, you could call him my pusher. I was immediately drawn into this surreal show of long legs, boney clavicles and erratic behavior. I appreciate the fact that these budding models learn that being pretty isn’t enough. Amen. You can tell they’ve all been told that they should be a model and in some of their small ponds, they are considered supermodels. However, all that changes when they meet Tyra Banks and her band of merry dream squashers.

ANTM works on two levels. It’s an intriguing look into fashion. You truly have no idea what it takes to get a good picture from these chicks. I love watching the girls navigate photo shoots that include posing in a wind tunnel, with male models and bulls to name a few. It also works on another level. It’s slightly fun to watch these women who are considered the ideal of beauty struggle with low self-esteem, performance anxiety and rejection. True satisfaction is watching Tyra reveal her quirky nerdy side at least once an episode. I also love it when she sports her tranny-chic diva look.

This season Tyra selected two plus size models. Let’s hear for the big girls, even though a plus size model wears a 12 or 14 and as you know I’m a 12. At 5’2’’, a size 12 doesn’t look like a supermodel. I’m more your brick house variety.

ANTM is always a great source of entertainment because you always have the reality show prototypes: the bitch (this year in the form of a slutty Russian mail order bride), the black sassy girl, the know-it all, the unstable bi-racial girl , the fiery Latina and the thrift store beauty.

I don’t know who the winner will be yet. I need to see their reaction to their makeovers. This tells a lot about the girls. I must say hubby J has picked the last five winners. He’s also the stylist and photographer of my picture on this blog. He channeled the energy of Tyra’s fierce Mr. J.

What’s your thoughts on ANTM?