Nicole and the Angry 20 pounds

It’s big news today, or at least the media is making it the lead story. Eternal party girl Nicole Richie was arrested for DUI over the weekend. For some reason this is interesting. As J said, “Who cares?” I have to admit for one minute I was thinking really but for the most part I don’t care. I feel it’s a shame that someone with so many opportunities seems to burn them but it just brings the point home that celebrities are people like us. It just seems that with more opportunities and money comes more temptation and wasted chances. It’s a balancing act.

One thing I’m sure won’t be addressed in this “news” story is how dangerous her behavior is to others. All we care about is that she was high on Vicadin and pot. What a combination? When these situations arise, there are always lurid details of the bust and the embarrassing mug shot. I’m trying to empathize with her dilemma or drum up some emotion close to caring but it’s difficult. I will say that this illustrates why Skinny Minnie needs more weight on her. Not only would she be healthier but she’d be able to handle her drugs and alcohol like an adult. It wouldn’t help her with making bad decisions like getting behind the wheel, which is probably the bigger problem.

Here are a few more common celebrity stories that aren’t really news:

Canoodling sessions
This used to be informative and insightful but it’s finally become apparent that Hollywood is horny. Making out with someone doesn’t constitute a relationship. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/employees rants
While these inside stories are usually titillating, they are also usually based on sour grapes. It’s hard to take someone’s word when talking about an ex. It all comes across as someone with an axe to grind. Jennifer Lopez's ex only became public and threatened a tell-all book when he lost his job at her restaurant.

The Will
This is a popular story on Entertainment Tonight. No one really cares what is in a will unless the person is a hot name or leaves it all to their dog. Exceptions to these have been poor Tori Spelling, no pun intended, and Anna Nicole Smith.

I Love the Nightlife
Covering Paris and her partying crew has become a whole industry in itself like whale watching. Will she come out? Will she hit a car? Will she call someone firecrotch? Watching starlets cruise the clubs isn’t that interesting. Show me the footage of Lindsey Lohan reading a book at home on a Friday night. Now that’s news.

Imaginary jealousy
I know there is backstabbing in the entertainment world. I saw Showgirls but the media would have you believe that no one gets along on a movie or TV set. The truth of the matter is no one cares unless it brakes out into a brawl like the “professionals” on the Grey’s Anatomy set.

What are some more "celebrity stories"?