I Love Bitchy Men

He’s at it again. The infamous Mr. Blackwell has put out his worst dressed list for 2006. I’ve never understood why we care about his selections. Even when I worked at the tabloid, I had no idea who he was and why he deemed himself or we crowned him the fashion queen I mean king. In order to finally satisfy my curiosity, I decided to Wiki him. Wikipedia is my best friend. I turn to him for brief but comprehensive info on any person, topic or event. It’s through Wikipedia that I found out about bell jars, Bob Fosse, Rent, Scientology and Hell’s Kitchen making me the well rounded all knowing Diva I am today.

According to Wikipedia, Mr. Richard Blackwell is a fashion critic. After an unsuccessful career as an actor, Mr. Blackwell designed dresses for actresses including Jane Russell and Jayne Mansfield. He wrote his autobiography From Rags to Riches in 1995. OH! That’s it. I thought he was something fabulous before my time. I can’t knock his hustle too hard because he is deliciously bitchy when it comes to fashion. Take a look at his lists for the past 46 years.

Here’s his 2006 Worst Dressed list:

1. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears
2. Camilla Parker-Bowles
3. Lindsay Lohan
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Mariah Carey
6. Paula Abdul
7. Sharon Stone
8. Tori Spelling
9. Sandra Oh
10. Meryl Streep

I understand Britney as number one. Any tacky bitch that wears cut-off shorts with the pockets hanging through the bottom and bare feet while she has more than $100 in her bank account is ridiculous. I also agree with Camilla, Mariah, Paula and Sharon. But I think Christina isn’t nearly as diiirty as she used to be. Her Betty Boop phase is working out for her. Meryl is hit or miss but how can you find fault with the greatest actress of her generation. She may dress very Diva at the opera and matronly but she’s not tacky or inappropriate. Sandra is just too fashion forward for the masses. The press blasts her repeatedly but at least she’s not exposing her pantyless crotch. Paris and Lindsey made the list because they are annoying on so many other levels. Technically, they are okay but their private persona trumps any fashion savvy they may have. And Tori, is she even a celebrity?

Mr. Blackwell is missing a few people from his list:

The Olsen Twins

I guess they count as one since they seem to be this two-headed fashion victim. Their gaunt frames and Kewpie doll heads are swallowed up by overwhelming dresses, chunky platforms and ripped tights. Ugh!!

Janet Jackson

She had a great transformation in her body but her over-the-top body hugging outfits were horrible. Not to mention her drag queen looks. Sometimes less really is more. I feel bad saying this because I was a soldier in the Rhythm Nation but she missed the mark.

Pamela Anderson

Bombshell Pam is crossing over into Dolly Parton territory. The glorious thing about Dolly is that she realizes she’s tacky and cartoon-like. Pam hasn’t gotten the memo yet.

Who would make your Worst Dressed list?