Fashion Rocks kicks VMA ass

I was treated to a great surprise last night -Fashion Rocks. That's right I was home watching TV on a Friday night and did I mention I was drinking wine coolers. It was all very 80s-chic. Turns out no one sells wine coolers anymore. I had to go to three places to find them. They were Bartles & James. Very retro!

Fashion Rocks was edgier and smarter than the MTV Video Music Awards. The musical guests were a diverse collection of artists. It was basically the VMAs 10 years ago. Even my husband commented on how the caliber of the show was higher. With that said, here are some highlights:

Best Bette Midler Tribute
Christina Aguilera put her dirty stamp on a Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy-inspired musical production, which included hunky sailors. I think she should perform in a wheelchair and dress like a mermaid for her next appearance. LOL if you got that reference.

Hottest Collabo
Nelly Furtado and Timbalind were smokin' on "Promiscuous". Even though I'm over the song, I still can't help bobbin' my head. There's something about Nelly that's contagious. Though someone needs to tell Timbalind he's a super producer but not a singer.

Best Use of a Fruit
Beyonce worked a banana skirt in her Josephine Baker outfit. Homegirl knows how to use a fan. She had her Mahoganey moment as her hair and scarf blew in the wind. Lovely. Her samba was a bit too slow but as usual she gave a solid performance. She has an uncanny ability to look hot without looking trashy.

Best Old Man Dance
Elton John busted the old man dance as he tried to keep pace with the Black Eyed Peas. First of all I was shocked when he stood up from the piano. He has legs. I forgot because he's always tickling the ivories. However, once he started to dance, I realized the problem.

Most Cavity Inducing Couple
Faith Hill and Tim McGraw brought a touch of country to the city. They sounded amazing on their duet. While I basked in their collective beauty, I was surprised to hear them singing about needing each other like a needle needs a vein. Graphic yet sweet.

Most Well Preserved Designer
Donna Karan looked refreshed and tan in a black tulle frock. The only thing that needed tightening on her outfit were her breast. The twins needed to be lifted.

Best Performance
As always the eclectic Black Eyed Peas, gave a memorable performance. I love that they're a crazy mix of rap, hip hop, rock and R & B. Their CD Monkey Business is a required listening. The Scissor Sisters were a close second with their campy upbeat song.