Where the hell was the PR person?

Bear with me. From time to time, I’ll be writing these entries. As a PR practitioner, I’m appalled at the lack of ethics or insight in client relations. It isn’t brain surgery. Common sense and a conscious will take you and your client a long way.

It’s happening more and more. Celebrities are constantly putting themselves in embarrassing and ridiculous situations. Look. Shit happens but you still need someone to spin it. It seems to me, if you’ll pay someone to extract the refuge from your colon or pluck the hair from your brows with thread, you can hire a professional public relations person.

There is an entire industry of image shapers out there. This is remedial Hollywood knowledge. If they can turn Nicole Richie into a household name, they can help anyone. However, some of Tinseltown’s finest are flunking this basic lesson. In a bid to save money for more doggie clothing, some of these celebs have passed on PR representation or have drawn the short end of the stick.

Jessica Simpson Doin’ the Do with Bam Margera

Ever the classy gentleman, extreme athlete and MTV ham Bam Margera recently hit the Howard Stern Show and spilled the beans that he had a margarita-fueled tryst with the bosomy singer while she was still married to Nick Lachey. Ouch! That had to hurt.

Even if it’s true, what a way for this info to come out. Unfortunately, Jessica has already taken a beating in her divorce. The perception is that she let a good guy go because she’s flighty and wanted to party. This comes on the heels of John Mayer denying he had a relationship with her and making her look like a stalker. Papa Joe needs to put on his manager cap and start the spin.

Anna Nicole Smith Sells Pictures

Sure this worked for Brad and Angie but there is a big difference. They were announcing the birth of their daughter while possibly sidestepping a potentially dangerous situation with the paparazzi. The best part was that the proceeds went to charity. Brilliantly played.

Anna and her absent PR person on the other hand have opened themselves to much speculation. Did she need the money or is she trying to set the record straight? Why just days after the death? We have no idea since there was no statement. This was the perfect time to wait a couple of weeks to release the pictures with a statement that the money is going to set up a foundation in her son’s honor. Missed opportunities.

Clay Aiken’s Makeover

What cunning stylist thought the Cousin It hairdo was a good idea? Did they actually look at him when this was done? It’s freakishly unsettling. This boy is in desperate need of an emergency session with the Queer Eye fellas. I’m a Clay fan. I thought it was an amazing marketing feat to have his videos on MTV. Why would they turn around and do this? It’s one huge step backwards. Who the hell cares if he's gay? I want to know who gave him that Cure haircut.

Paris Hilton Plays Dumb

I know she’s a twit but girlfriend isn’t stupid. Dateline NBC is slated to air a police interview Saturday in which the socialite uses her usual baby talk to admit she isn’t smart. Just think, thousands of young girls want to be just like her. Scary. The interview and Dateline piece is about the 2004 home robbery of “Girls Gone Wild” perverted founder Joe Francis. Check it out here.