No more Aretha. Please.

So, I finally sat down and watched American Idol last night. I had missed the guys the night before. I don’t like to watch the auditions show, which are essentially clever marketing and ratings bait. I like when they finally eliminate the riff raff and get down to business. After watching the girls perform, I was left wondering why some of them were even there. It’s not until you put all of the singers together that you notice the disparities.

There were at least six that can go immediately. Just the idea of them hanging around another week is worrisome. I haven’t even committed their names to memory because it seems like a waste of time. It’s pretty sad when you know if the first three notes that something is wonky. And there was a lot of wonky performances last night. Judging from the footage from the previous night, the fellas had difficulty carrying a notes and selecting songs as well. I guess I’ve become spoiled by RockStar, which features seasoned performers who put on (what feels like) a concert every week. They have to pick from a small list of songs and are encouraged to rearrange music and play instruments.

There was the big haired toothpick girl who murdered “Brass in Pocket”. She didn’t have enough spark or edge to pull it off. Palazzo pant girls wailed through the Meat Loaf epic “It’s All Coming Back to Me.” It should have come back to her to never try a powerful ballad if you can’t pull it off. Did the Nelly Furtado look-a-like really sing “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing?” When they said Aerosmith, I was hoping for “Dream On.” She managed to pick the most uncool Aerosmith song EVER. It’s beautiful but overdone and cheesy.

Dog walker girl needed to sit down somewhere. She was awkward and looked a bit too Stepford for my liking. Side swept bang girl was all mood and no substance as she emoted through “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Bonnie Raitt has so many wonderful songs. Why would dark-haired girl decide to do the Celine Dion version of “All By Myself?” Rule of thumb. No Celine, Whitney or Mariah. The Holy Trinity. Add Aretha, Mary and Alicia to this growing list.

Randy Jackson put it best when he said success is be based on how well the singer knows themselves and their voice. Amen. Meanwhile, there were a few girls that distinguished themselves. LaKisha Jones was great on “And I Am Telling You” but didn’t make it sour like the two Jennifers. She could easily advance with a less challenging song that wouldn’t lead to comparisons. Melinda Doolittle was fantastic on the last of the Aretha songs but she may look too old to connect with viewers. Jordan Sparks is the baby of the group. I give her credit for picking a Tracy Chapman song that we don’t hear everyday.

Sabrina Sloan is good but she seems to be channeling the Pussycat Dolls too much. She’ll need to switch it up or the sex kitten thing will get old. I also like that she said she didn’t pick a slow song because she’s watched the show in the past and seen what advances. Finally, someone with recall. Stephanie Edwards was dynamic on “Why Don’t You Call Me Anymore?” Last but not least, I give Nicole Tranquillo credit for attempting a Chaka Kahn song. It showed great musicality and vocal range but also highlighted a poor song choice for her voice. She wasn’t quite soulful enough to pull if off. She was trying for a Joss Stone vibe but missed.

I most likely won’t blog AI again until the final 12 but had to express my disappointment.

What did you think?