Thank You

With Thanksgiving approaching, it seems appropriate to use this as a time of refection and gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for. Life moves fast and often prevents me from showing the proper sense of amazement and splendor that surrounds me everyday.

With that said, here are the things for which I am grateful:

My budding Diva - I can’t wait to meet her and figure out what makes her tick. From her raucous kicking, I’m guessing it’s Led Zeppelin and spicy foods.

Mozzarella sticks- It must be my need for calcium because I’ve craved and consumed many pounds of these melty treats over the past months.

Miracles- I’m thankful that I’ve only gained 13 pounds in eight months. I thought I’d be tipping 200 pounds by now. Of course, I expect my ass and nose to spread considerably in the last month.

The Food Network- I’ve been watching cooking programs like I am studying to be a chef. I’m utterly entertained watching chefs prepare foods that don’t even look appetizing to me. Go figure!

The Gods of Fashion- Who have bestowed an uncanny talent upon me that’s allowed me to look more put together than I did before pregnancy. I’ve actually made the beer belly look work.

Tums, Prune juice, Water and Pillows- These four things have made the last months bearable.

Britney Spears- God bless her troubled soul. Watching her life spin out of control has made my life (and I’m sure yours) seem a whole lot more normal.

May you have a happy and healthy holiday with the people you love and make you laugh. Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble! Gobble!

I don’t know what it is about this Thanksgiving that has me feeling nostalgic for a homespun Midwest experience. Maybe it’s the hormones or possibly the simplicity of those days. We weren’t exactly a Norman Rockwell painting or the Huxtables but Thanksgiving always promised a most excellent meal. While most Americans have mashed potatoes, turkey, pumpkin pie and some concoction of cranberries. Our soulful spin on the holiday included macaroni and cheese, collard greens, chitlins (Pig intestines. Big with my sister and mother), ham, sweet potato pie, potato salad, sage cornbread dressing (the best) and roast chicken.

That’s right! We have chicken instead of turkey. One thing to know about the Diva is my strong dislike of what must be the blandest meat in the world- turkey. My mother, catering to the baby of the family (that’s me), roasts a chicken. A very large unnatural looking beast but boy was it yummy. No one seems to mind the break in tradition. Or at least they’ve never said anything to me.

I try to make it home for Thanksgiving but with me eight months pregnant (That’s right. It’s the neverending pregnancy), I can’t get on an airplane. So, I’m having a South Florida Thanksgiving, which is sure to include rice and beans, yucca, plantains and possibly Puerto Rican tamales. Don’t get me wrong. I will certainly partake in the meal gleefully if not joyfully. I’m just a little homesick.

I spent the weekend glued to the Food Network watching the Thanksgiving programming. I watched annoying Bobby Flay flog a former Butterball Hotline operator/turkey expert during a turkey and dressing Throwdown. Too bad. I so enjoy it when he loses. I learned the difference between stuffing and dressing. Stuffing is cooked inside the bird while dressing is prepared outside the bird. Who would have known after all these years? I learned five different ways to cook turkey during the Turkey Challenge.

I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe that Ohio Thanksgiving experience that I thought was so unremarkable was downright incredible. I’ll miss my dad angling for the chicken neck, my sister highlighting her latest Martha Stewart-esque yam casserole, my mom cooking the bird all night long and the random relative/family friend that showed up unexpected on that big day.

I’m not so much sad as extremely satisfied and grateful (with a hint of melancholy) for these vivid memories.

What are your favorite Thanksgiving memories?

Valley of the Fakes

I survived another weekend and even have the strength to talk about it. All I can say is there was a car trip to the West coast with my in-laws (J had to work) and a baby shower (not mine). Anyone who knows me, knows that baby showers are one of my least favorite things in the world. It’s not that I don’t love babies or baby items. I even strongly believe in the ritual of making them women-only. It’s a right of passage like getting your period and your first broken heart- you muddle through it.

But for some reason you put all those factors together and I lose interest. I participate because I’m a wickedly traditional diva. I much rather go to a bridal shower. With that said, I actually had a good time considering the circumstances. It’s also prepping me for my Big Fat Black Puerto Rican Baby Shower that is coming up shortly.

I got into town early and was treated to a delightful treat. I’d never done this before but felt it was about time. Being the prickly movie and pop culture critic I can be, I was so surprised by my acceptance of this taboo practice. Enough of the foreplay. I’m coming clean. I saw my first bootleg movie this weekend. It was Why Did I Get Married? Besides a man coughing, baby crying, low audio and the occasional large bodied person that blocked the screen, it was an enjoyable experience. Would I do it again? I was poised to do it again with what I was assured was a stellar copy of American Gangster, alas I didn’t have the opportunity.

WDIGM was surprisingly funny and universal. I admire Tyler Perry but his movies tend to be very heavy handed in their message. Sometimes catering too much to his targeted market. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but he has the potential to be more that a great black writer and filmmaker. He can be a talented filmmaker. Period. Look at the growth in Spike Lee and Woody Allen when they stretched their talent.

WDIGM tells the story of four seemingly happy married couples. A yearly get together exposes the true state of their relationships. It’s not so much important to know the couples or their circumstances as much as the writing was witty and authentic. Singer Jill Scott was fantastic as the mistreated Sheila and Tasha Smith stole all her scenes as the ghetto fabulous businesswoman Angela. America’s Next Top Model fans know Smith as Tyra’s drama coach to the models. I wasn’t going to mention Janet Jackson’s participation but I will say this. She only sucked when it came to her dramatic scenes. That’s when the infamous Jackson whisper crept in. Other than that she was okay.

I kinda feel like a badass now. Watching my bootleg movies. I didn’t think much of my fake Dolce and Gabana purse and Chinatown Gucci watch but the movie sent me to another level.

What badass things did you do this weekend?