The Void

I was jolted awake yesterday morning with an odd sense of anxiety. Not the ‘I have a lot to do today and not enough hours in the day to do itor I have to tell my boyfriend it’s over’ feeling. I literally popped upright in bed and gasped. Very daytime drama like. I’ve had this feeling before but it’s usually attached to my fear of death and wondering what I’ll be doing for all of eternity. This was different.

I immediately thought I forgot to do something. Did I leave the water running or forget to put the leftovers in the fridge? Feed the cat? Something was missing. I’ll admit I’ve had brushes with this feeling for the last year but it was always an ‘oh no” second. You know the type. “Oh no, I forgot to pick my mother up from the airport” or “Oh no, I forgot to call back that Channel 10 reporter.”

As the day went on, I started to recognize the feeling. Loss. I missed someone. Then last night after a grueling night of TV cramming, the pieces came together. (Synposis: Grey’s Anatomy-Smart, well-written, emotional and enjoyable. Ugly Betty- Birth of a superstar. You root and relate to this metal-mouthed Latina. It’s about time. Hooray! Watch Real Women Have Curves. Mandatory viewing. My Name is Earl- Bizarre characters that make you laugh. The Office-Funny. Dry. Funny. )

I miss Carrie. I wonder if she was able to make it with Big. Did Miranda get used to being a bridge-and-tunnel gal? How is Charlotte enjoying her new baby? Are Samantha and Smith still together? I miss Sex and the City. I miss my weekly fantasy that transported me to NYC hot spots and the lives of these amazing women.

I’m glad the show left before it got stale like Friends or Cheers. The last episodes tied up the loose ends nicely. It came full circle. I still miss the show. How can you not admire a show that brought you so many memorable moments? Samantha dying her public hair bright red and then showing Carrie in the bathroom while she’s eating food. Carries’s hearbreak at meeting Big’s Natasha. Stanford dating a man that collects dolls. Carrie as fashion roadkill during the big fashion show. Me likey. I could go on forever.

The greatness of the show was the location, writing and trendy touches. Everyone could relation to at least one of these women. I always felt like I was a combination of them all. Quirky and unsure like Carrie. Traditional and innocent like Charlotte. No nonsense and practical like Miranda. Sensual and fun like Samantha. But I have to admit I was more Miranda than anyone especially when she softened at the end.

Don’t cry for me. I have Sex and the City Seasons 1-4 on DVD and I watch it religiously in syndication. I’ll overcome this tragic loss.

Which Sex and the City lady are you? Tell me your favorite moment.

Worshiping at the altar of false idols

Remember a long time ago when the person you looked up to most was your mother, teacher or favorite athlete. I’m pretty sure I thought Dorothy Hamill was a goddess when I was in elementary school. I truly wanted to be a figure skater. I wanted to be just like her, dazzling smile and sparkling personality, minus the butch haircut. I couldn’t imagine my hair doing the Hamill without sprouting a fro.

Over time my idols changed. I went through my tiny dancer stage from ages 4-18. I seriously wanted to be a ballerina until I developed. That’s putting it nicely. I went from a training bra to a C cup without looking back. Debbie Allen and Nia Peeples were the ultimate dancing divas in my life. You can tell I was a Fame fanatic complete with hot pink leg warmers and Capezio shoes. Mind you I wore these at school and in dance class. I hear leg warmers are coming back. I took tap, ballet, jazz and pointe for 14 years. I even took modern dance in college.

I then went through my news anchor stage. My degree is in broadcast journalism. Up until graduation, I thought I was Holly Hunter in Broadcast News. Only I would have kept William Hurt despite his ethical lapse. Now I pretty much idolize anyone who is living their life with truth and grace. I admire people who are really inventive and groundbreaking at what they do.

I think this is why watching people idolize faux celebrities is tap dancing on my last nerve. I don’t understand granting celebrity status for no reason. Having an affair with a married man, attending every party on the planet or appearing on a dating reality show does not make you a celebrity. It makes you an adulterer, a party girl and desperate. I know it’s been said that everyone will have 15 minutes of fame but it seems that some have put it on a continuous loop. Neverending.

On the one hand, I can’t blame these false idols for showing some marketing know-how and parlaying that 15 minutes into a career that lasts a few months. Take it while it’s hot. On the other hand, these idols send a message to young people and those with simple minds that there is no skill necessary for celebrity status.

Here’s cautionary tale. Not long ago I was in Old Navy when to my horror there was an 18-year-old girl with straight blonde hair, pink straw cowboy hat, pink micro-mini, pink tank top and pink Uggs. Did I mention the small yippy dog in her arms? This isn’t Europe. Keep your mutt at home. She looked ridiculous but in her mind she was Paris Hilton.

False idol worship trivializes the skill and integrity of real idols. All of a sudden you’re a chomp for having a 9 to 5 job and benefits. WARNING: I’m about to get really mid-western here. What happened to respecting teachers, firefighters, doctors, artists and writers? It’s sad when young women would rather be Paris Hilton than Linda Ellerbee. I’m not saying that Hollywood personalities aren’t important. I’m just saying that being an actor or singer is a profession. I don’t have to like your movies or music but there is merit in the talent no matter how marginal it may be. But there is little merit in calling a lifestyle a profession. Being part of a reality show that doesn’t result in a prize or contract is not a profession. It’s a distraction.

As much as I love pop culture and the flavors of the month (Sienna Miller), I realize a lot of it an illusion and slick marketing. I’m okay with that but don’t you don’t have to idolize it.

And that was my rant for the day folks!

Can Uma beat Charlize?

Remember that MTV claymation show Celebrity Deathmatch that parodied fights between celebrities. Think Davey and Goliath without all of the religious stuff. I was happy to see it’s running on MTV2 after a four year sabbatical. I always thought it was funny as hell. It made me wonder who would win a real Celebrity Deathmatch. Could Uma Thurman really beat Charlize Theron?

Below are some of my picks.

Battle of the Bobble Heads
Nicole Richie vs. Kate Bosworth

This has the potential to be a close one with boney Kate having a good 10 pounds on skeletal Nicole. I think Lois Lane will reign victorious. Since Kate’s weight has just started her slow stroll down Emaciated Boulevard, there is still hope that she can pull herself together. I think she still has a taste for food and is a little cranky from missing her meals. Wave a sandwich under her nose and you’ve got a fierce fight.


Battle of the Crackheads
Whitney Houston vs. Anna Nicole Smith

Okay, I’m not sure that ANS is a crackhead she seems to be more of a pill popper. Can you imagine this fight? I think Whitney learned a few things from Bobby and with her Jersey background this could get interesting. ANS always seems to be half asleep or in some kind of deep sleep. I give the challenge to Whitney.

Battle of the Funky White Boys
Justin Timberlake vs. Kevin Federline

You know Justin is my boy but everyone knows Kevin is a scrapper. He made it out of the mean streets of Fresno to marry his pop tart while Justin pranced around with Mickey Mouse and Lance Bass. You do the math. Imagine a scene out of that time-honored epic Showgirls where Justin is doing his best Rerun poppin’ and lockin’ routine when KFed trips him. This plays out in a very dramatic fashion in my mind.

Battle of the Funky White Girls
Fergie vs. Gwen Stefani

My money is on Fergie. The Kids Incorporated alumn seems way more street that her L.A.M.B.-clad counterpart. Not to start rumors but I’m not that sure that she’s really a woman. I’m just saying. She’s taking tranny-chic to the next level.

Battle of the Over 40 Broads
Vivica Fox vs. Janet Jackson

I think it would be a surprise upset with Ms. Jackson pulling Vivica’s weave out. Vivica will give her a fight though with her new form of martial arts that incorporates ballroom dance moves. Sleek and poised yet potentially deadly. However, Janet knows the pleasure principle and is always in control. Also, wasn’t she part of a rhythm nation?

Who would you like to go to battle?

Calling all my Super Friends

We must battle the Legion of Doom. You’ll have to excuse me. I’m all superhero today after watching Heroes on NBC last night. I have to admit my inner trekkie was looking forward to this show. Clarification, I only liked the original series. That’s about as sci-fi as I get. However, this show was marketed similar to a M. Night Shyamalan movie and that holds great appeal to me.

In reality, the show wasn’t that bad. It started off with a corny scroll explaining that the assorted heroes will come together to save the planet. Yipee! It then launched into the stories of our heroes. High school cheerleader Claire (Hayden Panettiere) has regenerating skin and bones, hospice nurse Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) has aspirations to fly, brilliant but addicted artist Isaac (Santiago Cabrera) paints the future, Japanese everyman Hiro (Masi Oka) can stop time barrier and struggling single mom Niki (Ali Larter) harbors a violent side. I’m still trying to make sense of the single mom who seems to have another personality. Write me if you got this. All of these characters share the common thread (no pun intended) in Indian scholar Mohinder (Sendhil Ramamurthy) who is continuing his father’s research on people with super powers.

The writing and casting is good. I was engaged but felt the show got a little too X-Files for my taste. I was about to give up when the last two minutes shocked me. Based on those two minutes, I’ll continue to watch the show to see if it progresses. Oka introduces a compelling character in the hilarious and endearing Hiro. Cabrera peaks your interest as the tortured artist while Ventimiglia gives a calm read to his nurse. Adrian Pasdar gives a chilling performance as Peter’s smarmy politician brother.

With this said, my twisted mind shifted into gear. If you were a superhero, what would your special power be? What would be your name?

I would definitely be the mistress of disguise. I would use my knowledge of movies, television, literature and music to build a rich tapestry of characters that allow me to blend in to spy on or capture the villains. I’ll keep my moniker of Pop Culture Diva but I’ll be called Lil’ D for short. I’m 5’2’’. My costume will be fashionably black. I’m thinking black gauchos, turtleneck and knee length stiletto boots. No cape. All designed by Tom Ford. My superhero accessory will be my oversized red Gucci handbag that will hold my disguises.

Who would you be?

Reading is Fundamental

At least that’s what I was told when I was young. In celebration of Banned Books Week, I turn my attention to literature. I recently made the necessary trip to the Miami-Dade Public Library to get my card. Up until this point, I had borrowed books from friends. Reading like movies has always been an escape for me. As a child, I’d languish in my basement reading. I’d spend my allowance on those cheesy teen romance novels. You know, cute boys and cute girls with cute problems.

As I got older, the level of cheesiness rose in my reading choices. I graduated to Danielle Steele, Judith Krantz and Sidney Sheldon in high school. That was the 80s when we watched those great three-day mini-series like I’ll Take Manhattan, Princess Daisy and Lace. “Which one of you bitches is my mother?” Remember that classic line. Good times. My favorites were The Thorn Birds and Scruples. They don’t make mini-series like that anymore.

My foray into the romance world was interrupted when my father decided I needed to read African-American literature. I got into The Invisible Man and Native Son. My dad actually did me a favor by opening my mind to another experience. Thanks Dad! College was a void when it came to pleasure reading because required course work made reading impossible. But I did manage to fit in The Autobiography of Malcom X (very insightful, not what I expected) and most of the Terry McMillan books (she definitely gets smart, educated black woman).

My reading in the last decade have been a mix of classics and bestsellers. I just finished The Bell Jar and I’m at the end of … But Enough About Me: A Jersey Girl’s Unlikely Adventures Among the Absurdly Famous by Rolling Stone reporter/editor Jancee Dunn. Next up is the Dave Navarro’ Don’t Try This At Home, a Robert Mapplethorpe biography and Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathon Lethem. Carson McCullers and David Sedaris are also on my to do list. I’m like #20 in line for Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. I want to read it before the movie comes out. I’m trying to find the balls to read Atlas Shrugged but I keep losing my nerve.

In honor of Banned Books Week, I urge everyone to pick a book off this list and read with glee. Turn off the boob tube and read a challenged book. You can always TiVo. Consider it your act of anarchy for the week. If you can’t get that Mohawk you’ve always wanted, read one of these books. I’ve read several of the books on this list and am perplexed by their placement. A lot of Judy Blume titles are on this list, which is outlandish. Are You There God It’s Me Margaret? was a staple of my elementary school.

So, stick it to the Man and the other evil intolerant forces that want to determine what we read. Open your mind and read a book.

Where the hell was the PR person?

Bear with me. From time to time, I’ll be writing these entries. As a PR practitioner, I’m appalled at the lack of ethics or insight in client relations. It isn’t brain surgery. Common sense and a conscious will take you and your client a long way.

It’s happening more and more. Celebrities are constantly putting themselves in embarrassing and ridiculous situations. Look. Shit happens but you still need someone to spin it. It seems to me, if you’ll pay someone to extract the refuge from your colon or pluck the hair from your brows with thread, you can hire a professional public relations person.

There is an entire industry of image shapers out there. This is remedial Hollywood knowledge. If they can turn Nicole Richie into a household name, they can help anyone. However, some of Tinseltown’s finest are flunking this basic lesson. In a bid to save money for more doggie clothing, some of these celebs have passed on PR representation or have drawn the short end of the stick.

Jessica Simpson Doin’ the Do with Bam Margera

Ever the classy gentleman, extreme athlete and MTV ham Bam Margera recently hit the Howard Stern Show and spilled the beans that he had a margarita-fueled tryst with the bosomy singer while she was still married to Nick Lachey. Ouch! That had to hurt.

Even if it’s true, what a way for this info to come out. Unfortunately, Jessica has already taken a beating in her divorce. The perception is that she let a good guy go because she’s flighty and wanted to party. This comes on the heels of John Mayer denying he had a relationship with her and making her look like a stalker. Papa Joe needs to put on his manager cap and start the spin.

Anna Nicole Smith Sells Pictures

Sure this worked for Brad and Angie but there is a big difference. They were announcing the birth of their daughter while possibly sidestepping a potentially dangerous situation with the paparazzi. The best part was that the proceeds went to charity. Brilliantly played.

Anna and her absent PR person on the other hand have opened themselves to much speculation. Did she need the money or is she trying to set the record straight? Why just days after the death? We have no idea since there was no statement. This was the perfect time to wait a couple of weeks to release the pictures with a statement that the money is going to set up a foundation in her son’s honor. Missed opportunities.

Clay Aiken’s Makeover

What cunning stylist thought the Cousin It hairdo was a good idea? Did they actually look at him when this was done? It’s freakishly unsettling. This boy is in desperate need of an emergency session with the Queer Eye fellas. I’m a Clay fan. I thought it was an amazing marketing feat to have his videos on MTV. Why would they turn around and do this? It’s one huge step backwards. Who the hell cares if he's gay? I want to know who gave him that Cure haircut.

Paris Hilton Plays Dumb

I know she’s a twit but girlfriend isn’t stupid. Dateline NBC is slated to air a police interview Saturday in which the socialite uses her usual baby talk to admit she isn’t smart. Just think, thousands of young girls want to be just like her. Scary. The interview and Dateline piece is about the 2004 home robbery of “Girls Gone Wild” perverted founder Joe Francis. Check it out here.

Ode to the white boys

Before I start this blog, I need say I adore my black and Latino brothers. Golden skin and ethnic features will always be my preference. Specifically my husband J but it has come to my attention lately that my Caucasian brothers have grown by leaps and bounds when it comes to that cool factor.

I’ve always danced an intricate tango with white boys. One of my earliest celeb crushes was Rob Lowe but I also fell for Menudo. I went to a predominantly white high school so I had plenty to choose from but none held my interest. Not enough flava. I was the black chick in the popular group who got plenty of stares but no real advances. I was the Tootie of my high school. Believe it or not, my dad had co-workers who insisted I looked like Kim Fields. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but c’mon.

It wasn’t until I moved to Florida after college that I gave my fairer brothers a glance. Turns out, ebony goddesses are a hot commodity in South Florida. I’d actually have men with their baby’s in the back seat try to pull my eye as I sped down I-95. Who would have known? But it didn’t really matter because once I met my Puerto Rican it was over.

However, I’ve seen a powerful switch on the white boy’s image. I attribute it to the fascination to hip hop culture and globalization. It’s cool and trendy to engulf yourself in foreign cultures and mindsets. With that said, I’d like to give a shout out to the white boys who are workin’ it.

Brad Pitt
How can he not go on this list? Right when you think he can’t be sexier, he hooks up with the planet’s gutsiest chick and adopts a rainbow tribute. I totally dig the fact that he’s raising a black daughter.

Justin Timberlake
He’s doing more than bringing sexy back. He’s ushered in a new era. He’s that delicate balance of someone who is influenced by black and international culture but able to work it into his personality.

Jude Law
Okay, the nanny situation was just plain stupid but this guy is smokin’. Maybe it’s the accent or that wicked glint in his eye. The boy can act too. It almost seems unfair.

Matthew McConaughey
He’s what I call a smooth talker. My mom told me two things when I left for college. Don’t leave your drink and beware of men who talk holes in your clothes. He also seems quite sincere. He’s the guy that makes you feel like a million bucks.

Jake Gyllenhaal
He’s growing on me. Oddly, enough it was Brokeback Mountain that brought on my admiration. He reminds me of that quiet boy who sat in the back of your high school English class. You knew one day he’d blossom.

George Clooney
A classic. Older. Wiser. Funny. Intense. Smart. Goofy. Unattainable. Unforgettable.

It makes me want to sing. White boys are pretty. Skin as smooth as milk. Name that musical.

Missed Studio 60? Watch it here.

For all of you suckers that missed Studio 60, here's my random act of kindness for the day. Watch the premiere episode here. Let me know what you think and pay it forward.

Paparazzi- Friend or Foe ?

Last night as I was about to hit the hay, I ran into a familiar sight - Nicole Richie. Ms. Richie was on The Tyra Banks Show sharing her pearls of wisdom with the former Supermodel/budding business vixen and her audience. I still haven’t quite figured out this show. It’s extremely boring and very 80s talk show in subject matter. You know, my boyfriend cheated on me or I think no one will ever love me. I give her an A for effort and she is sincere with people. That should keep the show around a little longer.

Ms. Richie was sitting in her innocent little girl stance while painting the pitiful picture of how the paparazzi stalk her. Tyra made the appropriate faces to express her shock and disapproval. They even set up a little experiment, which included little cameras placed in their expensive Gucci bags to illustrate the point. The cameras captured the paparazzi shadowing the two as they shopped. Maybe my soul has turned black but I didn’t feel bad for her. There I said it! Don’t judge me!

Understand this. The paparazzi have gotten out of control with their stalking techniques. Double teaming Reese Witherspoon while you spew nasty remarks just isn’t right. That’s harassment. There should and eventually will be a law protecting celebrities from overzealous photographers and videographers. It will probably be called the Lohan Act. I like looking at the candid celeb pics in the gossip rags as much as the next gal but to what lengths will you go to snap Mary Kate and Ashley sipping their hearty lunch of iced coffee. I realize there are names that sell. I did work as a tabloid reporter but this hunt for the $1million picture has gone haywire.

With that said, I firmly believe some celebs, especially the younger set, court the media. You can’t have it both ways. I’m just curious how some celebs can actually do their shopping and visit their child’s soccer game in peace. You never see Denzel Washington or Jodie Foster being hounded by the paparazzi. If I see one more picture of Paris Hilton leaving a party, Lindsey Lohan’s private parts, Britney Spears barefoot in public or Nicole Richie attempting to eat a burger, I’m gonna lose it. Oh, too late. I just lost it.

I admire celebrities who realize that their privacy may be compromised due to their profession but they still lead a life. They’re tough with the media when they need to be but seem to carry on in spite of the challenges. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Uma Thurman Mariah Carey, Ricky Martin, Justin Timberlake, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher should all be commended for showing style and grace under extreme paparazzi interest. Another tier of clever celebrity tends to go stealth altogether. Topher Grace, Matt Damon and Alicia Keys are able to maintain an extremely private side while being a public figure.

My message to Nicole Richie is simple. Keep your ass at home. Oh, and give Justin a call. He can give you some tips.

Studio 60 brings back smart TV

Just so you know. I was set to blog on something else but after watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip last night, I was compelled to write about it. Finally, a TV drama that engages you while making you laugh. Studio 60 is brimming with intelligent dialogue, witty characters and a bird's eye view into network dealings and sketch comedy shows.

I know what you're thinking. The West Wing did this years ago but the kicker here is the subject matter. Studio 60 engages you in a more accesible topic. Comedy shows. West Wing was a bit high-brow and alienating with its political backdrop. However, I always admired the cast and writers for bringing smart programming to TV. All this from the gal whose guilty pleasures include America's Next Top Model and Dog the Bounty Hunter. With that said, I think I'm the perfect example of a viewer who loves reality TV but craves well-written dramas and sitcoms. The two aren't exclusive.

Studio 60 is brought to you by genius Executive Producers Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme. Tommy Schlamme (pronounced Sha-la-me). Say that five times. I love his name. It was always fun to hear people try to pronounce it when they won for West Wing. Studio 60 chronicles the backstage dilemnas on the Saturday Night Live-inspired Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The premiere episode exploded with a Emmy-worthy monologue by the show's Executive Producer after having a controversial skit pulled. Judd Hirsch was brilliant and accurate as he exulted the downfall and commercialization of television.

His live speech and eventual firing rockets the plot into motion. Steven Weber is chilling as the no nonsense network chariman, Jack Rudolph, while Amanda Peet is brash and independent as the new network president, Jordan McDeere, who must make sense of the mess immediately. Her idea is to bring back the writing team of Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) and Danny Tripp (Bradley Whitford). Matt and Danny were fired years earlier but have since become Hollywood's power writing team.

The writing is tight and fast paced. It feels like an Robert Altman film. You're not bored. Matthew Perry proved what I long suspected - that he is the funniest Friend. I look forward to meeting the supporting cast and seeing what the future holds. If the first show is any measure, it will be a great success. It certainly has the marketing and public relations push to get it noticed.

It's definitely worth a watch! Believe me, I don't pop my cork for every show I see.

Oprah's coming! Oprah's coming!

That's right, kiddies. Today marks a new season for The Oprah Winfrey Show. I'm as excited as if I've heard the ice cream truck in the distance. As you may know, I adore Oprah. I don't want to be her as much as I want to be Oprah-esque. In honor of my shero, I've put together my thoughts on what I've learned from the Big O. Enjoy!

Be yourself

Oprah is a modern-day phenomenon. It’s like the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series or Gloria Steinem getting married. You thought you’d never see it in your lifetime. Here’s a black woman from the south who struggles with her weight and isn’t a conventional beauty yet is now one of the most influential women on this planet. The world adores Oprah.

Sure, she went through her toothpick period where her hair rose like a lion’s mane and her nails extended like bright red talons but it was the late-80s. We were all looking for that extra height in our hair and nails. Too many Tina Turner videos will do that to a woman. She eventually hit her stride and settled into a subtle glamour that understands she’s not the most beautiful or skinny woman but can still rock a red carpet with class and sass.

She sends the strong effective message that woman don’t need to apologize for being smart, having opinions and not taking no for an answer. That doesn’t make you a bitch. It makes you a strong woman. Women aren’t defined by their bra size, hair color or income. They exist through their wit, faith and intelligence.

Use your influence

This woman is an innovative media diva. She realizes that when you have influence and a platform to speak from, you’re unstoppable. She ushered in a new trend in daytime talk shows where it’s not enough to simply expose that a mom is getting busy with her daughter’s boyfriend or that Robert’s girlfriend Samantha is really Samuel.

Even if you’re heading the bake sale and other church fundraisers, there’s no reason why you can’t ask your co-workers and neighbors for help. Instead of adding that $500,000 chapel, you know the one that will allow you to charge more for weddings, ask church members to settle on a smaller chapel and give the extra money to the local women’s shelter.

One person can make a difference

What’s your pet peeve? Is it people who don’t clean up their dog’s poo or children who have no place to go after school? Whatever the answer, the solution lies with you. Most great organizations started with one person with an outstanding idea. Look at Mothers Against Drunk Drivers and the Girl Scouts of America. These organizations were founded by passionate people with a vision. Of course, this would mean that you’d have to actually get off you behind and think about someone other than yourself which seems to be an enormous problem for some folks.

Oprah set her sights on literacy and managed to launch obscure writers to bestselling authors and assemble the most finely-pressed book club in her viewers. She made Anna Karenina as hip as visiting a Kabbalah Centre. She offered a reward for two at-large sexual predators on her show, less than a week later both were apprehended. Who said one person doesn’t make a difference?

Dignity

Whether she was 140 pounds or tipping the scale at 300, she always has an easy grace. She might have been secretly plotting an escape but we were clueless. There are overweight people that are confined to their homes due to embarrassment and health conditions. Oprah braved a national audience daily and as her girth expanded so did her audience. It’s difficult for me to have dignity or grace when I leave my house only to realize that my favorite Capri pants fit perfect when I’m standing but want to rebel and possibly burst when I sit down. Where’s the dignity in that? Did she take a class?

Dream big

There’s something that happens around the age of 22. We stop dreaming and drift into this purgatory of car notes, baby diapers and working late. We forget those childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut or ballerina because we suddenly realize we’re afraid of heights or its painful to stand on our toes. Practicality and common sense replace curiosity and innocence.

Everyone has dreams. Make it through the week without sending your boss to hell or save enough money to visit Aunt Sadie in Florida. Oprah asks us to dream a bigger dream. If you can’t go a day without visualizing your boss being run over by a truck, look for another job or consider going into business for yourself. Chances are you know way more than you give yourself credit. Turn that trip to Florida with your favorite aunt into a family reunion. Put the call out to the clan and make Alex Haley proud by gathering as many generations as possible. Once you accomplish this dream, who knows what’s next.


50 is the new 30

Something was activated when Oprah turned 50. She got HOT. She was our enlightened spokeswoman. I mean she was always attractive and stately but never HOT. The planets aligned for her or she made a pact with the devil. Maybe she just found herself. She’s an inspiration for 50-somethings everywhere. Hell, we can all learn something for her. Fifty has changed. Say goodbye to sensible shoes, turtlenecks and floor-skimming skirts and hello to pointy-toed high heels, plunging necklines and snug boot cut jeans.

Repeat after me. Oprah! Oprah! Oprah! Oprah!

Is it just me or is Zach Braff kinda sexy?

I left The Last Kiss actually thinking he was kinda cute. Okay, he sort of looks cartoonish and slightly odd but just like Scrubs and Garden State he has that good guy quality that can get ya crushin'. Personally, I like his full lips and self-deprecating humor. What can I say? I'm a lips gal.

The Last Kiss is impressive and ambitious. Directed by Tony Goldwyn and written by Paul Haggis, it was better than it had to be. I was amazed at the truth in the writing. This movie tackles the very common but little talked about issue of the reality of relationships. Not everything is butterflies and rainbows.

Braff's character Michael finds himself sliding into 30 and expecting a baby with his girlfriend Jenna played by Jacinda Barrett. It's hard to imagine this is the same girl from that train wreck called Real World Europe. Michael must come to terms with growing up and settling down with one person for the rest of his life. He's not sure he's prepared for that last kiss. His resolve is further tested by a lively co-ed played by Rachel Bilson. The movie also follows his friends as they navigate similar issues of responsibility. The Last Kiss tackles that devastating moment when you realize you're life is going to be closer to your parent's life than you're comfortable with.

The most compelling parts of the film center around Michael's tortured dilemna and Jenna's reaction to his situation. Blythe Danner is a revelation as Jenna's mother. She gives a heartbreaking performance as an older woman searching for meaning and passion in her marriage. I was riveted and brought to tears through the majority of her scenes. Amazing. Tom Wilkinson held his own with her.

The Last Kiss signals budding big film careers for Braff and Barrett. Both continue to show promise in their film selections.

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago?

She needs to take me away on a vacation. Lately I’ve had this urge to get away. Some place exotic. I know, I live in Miami but I need to get AWAY. I have a cruise planned for next month and a NYC trip planned for November. I want to be swept away to another country with vivid smells, colors and culture.

I want to be in my full glory like Meryl Streep in Out of Africa minus the syphilis. I guess that’s why I’ve always loved movies and books. They transport you to another place. Pure escapism. Over the years, I’ve had numerous theater experiences taunt me into making that fantasy a reality. As I get older, the list gets longer.

Below are the movies that peaked my interest on certain foreign and not so foreign locales:

Out of Africa (1985) – Kenya
I’ve always wanted to go back to Mother Africa. This movie made it look even more beautiful and calm than my dreams. In reality, I’ll probably get bitten by a malaria-soaked mosquito or become a light snack for a cheetah. Despite that probability, Africa is high on my list.

The Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert (1994) – Australia
I want to visit this country as much for the people as the landscape. Australian movies always portray their denizens as quirky as Tennessee Williams defines Southerners. I love that. I want to visit the rugged countryside as well as the Opera House. Priscilla made me want to strap on my stilettos, grab my boa and catch the nightlife. Fabulous!

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) – Naples
This movie captured my heart with the colorful Italian locations and posh clothing. Gywneth Paltrow and Jude Law are breathtaking in this period piece. I couldn’t take my eyes off the cobble-stoned streets and deep blue waters. When I wasn’t petrified by Matt Damon, I was enthralled with the surroundings.

Sideways (2004) – California
I’m not even into wine but this movie made me want to uncork a bottle. Anything but merlot. The California wine country comes alive in this film. The combination of gourmet foods and stellar wine was the perfect recipe. I need to venture west.

How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998) – Jamaica
The movie was crap. Read the book. But the scenery is breathtaking. The colors jump off the screen. I honeymooned in Ocho Rios but I want to go back. The island is calling me. I want to visit Negril next time to watch the sun set while I sip rum punch.

Stealing Beauty (1996) – Tuscany
This was my first real glimpse into Tuscany. The movie was slow but great. I was mesmerized by the sprawling countryside and the handsome men. Yummy. Everything seems so passionate. The food. The wine. The language. The people.

Sex and the City (1998-2004) – Manhattan
This is one of my all-time favorite TV shows. I’ve been to the Big Apple numerous times. I used to go every summer as a teenager. It was my mother’s way of escaping the boring Ohio summer to shop, dine and catch Broadway plays. However, I want to visit Carrie’s NYC and have brunch with the girls while rubbing my sore feet. It’s hard strutting down the street in those Manolos.

The Troll reigns victorious

My phone started ringing immediately after the results. The calls came pouring in. The inhumanity. The horror. Dilana was robbed. The misguided fellas of Supernova selected Lukas the Troll as their new lead singing. I’ll give the show props for only making us squirm for an hour. I thought for sure it would be a two-hour craptacular event. The producers, who love creating drama, put us out of our misery in a quick and swift manner. I’m sure that’s how Magni felt when he was the first to go.

My heart went out to Toby as he was the next on the chopping block. He looked scared shitless all night. His worst fears came to light. Supernova really played with his mind though. They had been blowing smoke up his ass for the last couple of weeks. He started to believe the hype. I think the viewers did as well. We’ll miss his Aussie sneer. He’ll probably go back to Australia and become bigger than INXS or Kylie Minogue.

Then there were two. Together they looked like Chucky and his Bride. Remember that movie when Chucky went goth. Tiny people in tiny goth clothes. It’s hard to imagine Supernova wants Lukas to be their front guy. Though his pink lip gloss had the right amount of sparkle. I wonder if it was MAC. I firmly believe that if Jason had come across Lukas when he was with Metallica, he would have kicked his ass on principle alone.

Despite the pain, I can be realistic about this. Dilana got the better deal by not winning. Gilby offered to produce and co-write on her album and Dave wants to play guitar. She’ll also go on tour with the band probably opening for Panic Channel. That’s a pretty sweet deal considering Supernova will probably put out one album and then go back to their other bands.

I can’t help but feel that women have no place on this show. The most talented over the past two seasons get the boot. Just when you think someone may be progressive enough to take a chance, the troll wins. Dilana might have been too strong and challenging for the band. Maybe the next Rock Star should be the Go Gos or the Bangles. It doesn’t get more rockin’ than that. Seriously, the next season should be Van Halen or Fuel.

I can’t close this chapter in my reality TV life without saying that the House Band is the bomb. I loved them more than Supernova and INXS combined and that’s saying a lot considering I lived for INXS in high school. Maybe they should launch a search for a leader singer.

With that said, I officially close this book. I already hear Dancing with the Stars, America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway calling my name.

I get it. You're sexy.

Janet Jackson needs to go sit down somewhere. If I see one more picture of her breasts, stomach or ass exposed, I’m gonna scream. I get it. You lost a bunch of weight. I get it. You’re 40 and still hot. I GET IT!!!! I just don’t know why she needs us to get it so bad. Not to mention that she's starting to look like a bad drag queen.

Let me just say. I was a soldier in the Rhythm Nation back in the day. I was Janet, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty. At least I wanted to be. I can appreciate her efforts to get back in shape and compete on the Billboard charts with the youngsters but gimme a break.

Something must happen to women in Hollywood when they turn 40. They lose their damn minds. All of a sudden the public is bombarded with sexy images of tarted up actresses and singers. It must be difficult to be part of an industry that puts a premium on youthful looks and a tight ass.

Look at Vivica Fox. She was known for her homegirl good looks and image. She turned 40 and enlarged her breasts, fixed her nose and started dating 50 Cent. I saw her on the MTV Video Music Awards a few years back, droppin' it like it was hot. She seems to be on the endless crusade to convince people that she is still beautiful therefore relevant. Demi Moore and Sharon Stone are also guilty of this offense.

I find it troubling that women feel the need to sex themselves up after they turn a certain age. I’m not just talking a provocative dress. I mean moving full throttle into plastic surgery, too short skirts and plunging necklines. Janet can learn from Diane Lane and Julianne Moore. These woman embrace an eternal beauty that is still sexy but not cheap.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that sex appeal ends at 40. It just matures and moves onto another level. Can I get an Amen!!

What 40-plus actress or actor has gone over the line trying to beat father time?

Rock Star: Supernova has become a two horse race

I have to say I'm glad Rock Star is almost over. It's taken up too much of my attention. Anyway, Dancing with the Stars has started up. It doesn't get better than watching Jerry Springer attempting the fox trot or Mario Lopez prancing around the floor in tight pants.

Rock Star was mesmerizing last night. After all this time, there was still excitement and fresh sounds. I was slightly distraught to see Paula Abdul bringing her drug-induced clapping to the Rock Star audience. Dave Navarro even gave her a shout out which I thought lost him some cool points.

Despite the manufactured drama surrounding Dilana, it has been an amazing run this season. The clear front runners are Toby and Dilana. It should be interesting to see which way the Supernova guys lean. It is a bold choice to pick a chick to front your band since no one else is doing that. However, Toby comes with built-in groupies. The accent, perpetual sneer and regulation spiked hair may make him too much competition for the elderly but well-endowed Tommy Lee.

Magni and Lukas seem to be around as mere window dressing. It would be a major disappointment if either of these guys won the competition. Magni is filled with a bit too much angst and stalker beauty. Lukas is covered with too much eyeshadow, glitter and goth mystique.

I'm calling out my rockers. What has been your favorite Rock Star moment this season?

I personally miss Zayra slaying songs with her heavy accent and dressing like a Puerto Rican superhero complete with cape, gloves, knee-high boots and leopard print body suit. Another highlight was Matt deciding to prove his rock star cred after being voted in the bottom three by singing a Duran Duran song. Priceless.

UB40 takes me back

I was traveling on the Metromover this morning through downtown Miami when I heard the reggae-tinged “Red Red Wine” pulsing through my headphones. (That’s right. I’ve embraced public transportation since my car crapped out on me. I’m one with the “real” people.) The UB40 tune immediately took me back to high school.

This song will always remind me of Carlos, the luscious bronzed exchange student from Brazil. I had a thing for Carlos and spent most of my senior year trying to get his attention. The song was wildy popular and was playing the first time I drove past his house. Yes, I used to drive past his house on my way home from dance class every week. And yes, I did it more than once. Don’t judge me. I was young and in lust. They didn’t make them like Carlos in my small Ohio town.

Looking back at pictures, Carlos resembled a runt from the Menudo litter but he was exotic. Unfortunately, there’s no happy ending to this high school tale. Carlos came to my graduation party but blew me off for the big date. That’s okay. I’m sure he’s fat and balding in some Brazilian favela while I’m fabulous and living a glamorous life in Miami. Not that I’m bitter.

My jaunt down memory lane reminded me of how music can transport you to another time and place. If you’re like me, that memory is vivid and full of the smells and tastes from that moment. Below are some of my all-time favorite music memories:

“Fly Robin Fly” by Silver Convention
This song will always remind me of weekend drives with my parents. They used to have these great 8-track cassettes with titles like “Soul Gold 77” and “Soul Gold 74” which contained the best soul music from that year. I can still hear that loud “clack clack” sound as my dad pushed that 8-track in the car stereo. I can feel the fresh wind on my face and see the metallic pink pinwheel spinning in my hand.

"In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley
My mother adores this song. This may be one of the few songs I remember her singing. My mom shatters the myth that all Black people can sing and dance. She can't do either. It was impossible to teach her the electric slide. So, to hear her commit to a song is really something. It's so much a part of her, I use it as her ring tone.

“Still” by The Commodores
This was before Lionel started dancing on the ceiling. I remember my sister sitting on the floor listening to this song through enormous earmuff-like headphones. She had tears streaming down her face as she proclaimed this the most touching song, ever. My sister also introduced me to early Prince and Parliament.

“True” by Spandau Ballet
This was a favorite at the first boy/girl parties I attended. I remember dimmed lights and that stiff side-to-side sway we called dancing. It was awkward but set the tone for the years ahead. Every time I hear this song I think of “Spin the Bottle” and pizza.

“Wild Thing” by Tone Loc
Imagine an 18-year-old girl allowed to take three of her friends to Cleveland for the Club MTV Tour. The young lady wore a turquoise booty dress with hot pink belt, flowered tights, dangling to her shoulder earrings and sky-high teased hair. Her friends wore assorted animal prints, bolero jackets, polka dots and more gravity-defying hair. The girls danced and sang to live performances by Was Not Was, Information Society, Paula Abdul and Milli Vanilli. The girls really enjoyed the singing of the Milli Vanilli guys. They were great vocalists and hunky with those long braids. The highlight of the evening was Tone Loc who brought down the house by pulling girls on stage to dance. And for one night our heroine danced, grinned and had the time of her life on stage with Tone Loc.

What are your special music memories?

Lifetime movie casting

One of my numerous guilty pleasures besides Taco Bell, reality shows and cheesy 70s music is Lifetime Television. There’s nothing better than sitting mindlessly in front of the tube on a lazy Sunday and watching some woman sort out her screwed up life. For the record, I like the love stories not the creepy true life movies about stalkers or rapists. Too much reality. I also refuse to watch anything with Tori Spelling. I paid my dues watching Beverly Hills, 90210.

It may sound bizarre but part of the fun of watching these movies is imagining who would play me. So, I always ask people, what actor would portray them in a Lifetime movie of their life. I follow it up with who would play you in the big screen version? I just added another. Who would play you in the independent film based on your life?

I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and here’s what I came up with:

Lifetime

Gabrielle Union- I like her girl-next-door meets hot chick vibe. She was hilarious in Deliver Us From Eva. The movie sucked but she was strong. I think her smart confident demeanor can capture strength while her humor is similar to mine. I smell an Emmy and Golden Globe. I'd also cast Mark Consuelo as my husband J. Kelly shouldn’t have all the fun.

Big Screen

Halle Berry- Hell, if you’re going to cast someone it might as well be the sexiest actress with an Academy Award. I think she’s grown into a respectable actress and her casting guarantees a big opening weekend. I team her once again with Benjamin Bratt as J.

Queen Latifah- I took another route with selection just in case they want to make it a comedy or musical. The Queen’s persona is a great representation of the Diva’s. However, she should go by her real name of Dana Owens. If her mama calls her Dana, I’m gonna call her Dana. I’d cast John Leguizamo as J in a comedy and Marc Anthony if it’s a musical.

Independent

Parker Posey- This girl is fierce. I believe in nontraditional casting and Parker is perfect to play me. She embodies my quirkiness. I would cast Jeffrey Wright as J. I’ve love him in everything especially Broken Flowers and Basquiat.


Who would play you in the movie version of your life?

I haven't laughed this hard since Mary put the gel in her hair

I saw Little Miss Sunshine yesterday. It was unbelievably hilarious. Saying that it is about a dysfunctional family is simplifying the plot. I don't know that I even believe in dysfunctional families anymore since at least one or more of the family members reminds me of someone I know including myself. Face it, we're all dysfuntional in some way. I've embraced that truth and am okay with it.

Toni Collette is exceptional as always as a mother struggling to understand her children, husband and brother. If you haven't seen Muriel's Wedding, you should. And when did Greg Kinnear become an actor? He's slightly creepy as a self-help guru wannabe. There are telling scenes of the family simply interacting with each other. The dinner scene is excellent. I liked the fact that none of their cups matched. I got a sense that this was a real family not an polished portrait of the perfect family. Steve Carell, Alan Arkin and Paul Dano were great in supporting roles but the light of the movie is little Abigail Breslin. She brings a fresh original face to her character. You rooted for her and her oddball family.

All I can say is the last half hour of this movie was splendid. I laughed so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I left the theater with a headache. I encourage everyone to go see this movie before the buzz gets too great.

If you've seen the movie, I'm interested to know what you thought. What was your favorite moment?

Fashion Rocks kicks VMA ass

I was treated to a great surprise last night -Fashion Rocks. That's right I was home watching TV on a Friday night and did I mention I was drinking wine coolers. It was all very 80s-chic. Turns out no one sells wine coolers anymore. I had to go to three places to find them. They were Bartles & James. Very retro!

Fashion Rocks was edgier and smarter than the MTV Video Music Awards. The musical guests were a diverse collection of artists. It was basically the VMAs 10 years ago. Even my husband commented on how the caliber of the show was higher. With that said, here are some highlights:

Best Bette Midler Tribute
Christina Aguilera put her dirty stamp on a Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy-inspired musical production, which included hunky sailors. I think she should perform in a wheelchair and dress like a mermaid for her next appearance. LOL if you got that reference.

Hottest Collabo
Nelly Furtado and Timbalind were smokin' on "Promiscuous". Even though I'm over the song, I still can't help bobbin' my head. There's something about Nelly that's contagious. Though someone needs to tell Timbalind he's a super producer but not a singer.

Best Use of a Fruit
Beyonce worked a banana skirt in her Josephine Baker outfit. Homegirl knows how to use a fan. She had her Mahoganey moment as her hair and scarf blew in the wind. Lovely. Her samba was a bit too slow but as usual she gave a solid performance. She has an uncanny ability to look hot without looking trashy.

Best Old Man Dance
Elton John busted the old man dance as he tried to keep pace with the Black Eyed Peas. First of all I was shocked when he stood up from the piano. He has legs. I forgot because he's always tickling the ivories. However, once he started to dance, I realized the problem.

Most Cavity Inducing Couple
Faith Hill and Tim McGraw brought a touch of country to the city. They sounded amazing on their duet. While I basked in their collective beauty, I was surprised to hear them singing about needing each other like a needle needs a vein. Graphic yet sweet.

Most Well Preserved Designer
Donna Karan looked refreshed and tan in a black tulle frock. The only thing that needed tightening on her outfit were her breast. The twins needed to be lifted.

Best Performance
As always the eclectic Black Eyed Peas, gave a memorable performance. I love that they're a crazy mix of rap, hip hop, rock and R & B. Their CD Monkey Business is a required listening. The Scissor Sisters were a close second with their campy upbeat song.

My TiVo is mocking me

She keeps taping “new” Oprah episodes even though the new season hasn’t started yet. That’s right. I refer to my TiVo as a women. Only a women can be clever enough to make you think you’re in charge but really calls all of the shots. Doesn’t she know that’s not funny? What have I done to her? I don’t ask her to tape shows she thinks I’ll like. She only has to tape Oprah.

There something you should know about me. I adore Oprah. Not in a stalker way. I don’t want to be Oprah. I just want to be Oprah-esque. When my back is against a wall, I often think, what would Oprah do? Would she serve (okay would her personal chef serve) lamb or roast beef at a dinner party? Would she wear white after Labor Day? Would she bitch slap that woman who has more than 10 items in the express lane? These are the pressing questions.

I’m plotting how to get invited to her show. Not to merely sit in the audience and receive the customary subscription to O magazine. I want to be a guest on her show or better yet I want to be on the Oprah’s Favorite show. If you haven’t seen this, you’ve missed out on something. Oprah gives everyone in her audience her favorite foods, clothing, electronics and other gadets. Hell, I would have slapped my mom for the Kiehls gift set she gave away two years ago.

My other thought in my quest for Oprahness is to become her best friend. Gayle’s had a good run but I’m younger, prettier and a lot more fun. Oddly enough everyone keeps telling me I should stick to Plan A. So, I bring it to you.

How can I get on the Oprah Winfrey Show?

I don't get Jennifer Aniston

I saw Friends with Money last night. Written and directed by Nicole Holocener, it was this year’s indie darling. The film centers around Olivia played by Jennifer Aniston and her wealthy friends Jane (Frances McDormand), Franny (Joan Cusack), Christine (Catherine Keener) and their spouses. Olivia is source of concern due to her abrupt career redirection, which took her from a teacher to a maid. She also seems to have a penchant for crummy relationships with lousy men.

At first glance, the friends with money seem to be verbose suburbanites with way too much time on their hands. It reminded me of a Woody Allen film where everyone is intellectually inclined and extremely articulate. As the movie unfolds you understand that there are some twisted things happening in suburbia.

Frances McDormand gives a nuanced performance. I have to admit every time I see her onscreen, I smile. You know she’s always going to give an intelligent and often humorous spin to a role. Her scene where she has a meltdown in Old Navy over someone cutting in front of her in line was ripped from my life. It was the best scene in the entire film. Catherine Keener is heartbreaking as a woman struggling to keep her marriage afloat.

Jennifer Aniston was miscast and swallowed up by her contemporaries. It was hard to root for pathetic Olivia. At times you feel deep shame as she’s humiliated by the men in her life and at other times you want to rattle her dizzy head and berate her for living like a college student.

This brings me to a bigger issue. Why is the Hollywood star-making machine so insistent in shoving Jennifer Aniston down our throats? I don’t get her appeal but she’s not the only one. Here are some others:

Jennifer Aniston
The original. Before you get all Team Aniston on my ass, hear me out. There is no doubt that she was good as Rachel on Friends but that was one character. She has shown glimmers of hope in The Good Girl and Friends with Money but it’s a slow-burning ember. I don’t get the assertion that she’s a sex symbol or leading lady. I feel like some evil marketing monkey is trying to play with my mind.

Paris Hilton
She’s a socialite. She’s a party girl. I’d even give her “It” girl status. Where the hell is she coming from with a CD and movies? The media continues to stoke the fire, which really chaps my ass. She can’t sing and she can’t act. Period. The jig is up.

Kate Bosworth
Lois Lane. Really? She was enjoyable in Blue Crush but what happened to the spark. Poor girl just looks hungry to me. Someone needs to feed her a sandwich then take her to an acting class.

Nicole Richie
The incredible shrinking lady. We can all thank Paris for introducing us to her buddy. She’s Lionel Richie’s daughter, right? What else has she done besides the tragic Simple Life series?

Kevin Federline
I almost want to shake his hand. He’s managed to Forrest Gump his way to a pop star wife, rap CD and appearances on CSI and Entourage. By the way, I loved Kevin Federline when he was known as Vanilla Ice. Ice ice baby.

Who do you think gets the Aniston treatment?

Rock Star voters finally wised up to the troll

That's right. Lukas the troll boy was finally in the bottom three. After Magni numbed us with his blah performance with the Supernova guys, hunky Toby got the encore and a brand new car. It was no surprise that Storm and Dilana were in the bottom along with Lukas. Though Magni should have been there instead of Storm.

Storm as always was solid on Pink Floyd while Dilana punked up a Cheap Trick tune. Lukas decided to punish us again with his original song. I heard more words tonight but it still seemed like an odd ode to one's mother. Unfortunately, Storm had to go tonight but she has to be proud to make it this far. I mean, would Supernova really have someone named Storm Large lead their group. Is the really her name? Is it on her birth certificate?

Celeb PR 101

In the wake of the mysterious and yet adorably hairy Suri coming out of hiding, I've come up with the tenents of successful celebrity public relations. That's right students, sit down and let the diva school you. By following my simple rules, we can avoid another TomKat incident and won't have to watch that boney Nicole Richie try to avoid the photogs.

Listen up, Jessica and Ashlee, you might learn something. Here are the 5 things that every celebrity should have:

A full-length mirror

You know where I’m going with this. Every fashion-conscious celeb should have a full-length mirror with the emphasis on full-length. I'm merely suggesting a glance in the mirror might have tipped off Jessica Simspon that she looked like a linebacker in her 80s black booty dress. For this matter every person should have one . . . and use it. Maybe then fashionistas will realize that deep dark tan they acquired through a spray brush actually makes them look like a tangelo.

An honest friend

Everyone needs the good friend who is painfully truthful with you, no matter what. She told you your new hairweave looked like a horse's tail and that your bra was so tight it looked like you had four breasts. This friend actually goes hand-in-hand with the full-length mirror. Friends like this are hard to find but so worth it. You just need to remember to not take things personally. You’d rather hear it from a friend instead of Joan Rivers.

Non-payable family

It’s hard for your mother to tell you you’re getting married way to soon when she’s on the payroll. How can your brother tell you the new script you’re considering isn’t the right choice when he depends on you to make is house payment? Where was Britney's mama when she was chompin' on her gum with Matt Lauer. My mom would have snatched it out of my mouth. Like your good friend who tells you the truth, you need family members who are just that - family. Mom and dad need to be able to take you back to that place when you were in the ninth grade and got busted staying out all night with your 19-year-old boyfriend. Ah, good times.

A television

Here’s a novel idea. Think before you speak. A good publicist will give you three points to express. If an interview strays or goes off course, you can always go back to one of those points. Not every celebrity is a rocket scientist, so a bit of preparation couldn’t hurt. Here’s another thought and I’m just throwing this out there, watch a playback of your interview. TOM CRUISE!! Poor misguided Tommy. He had several opportunities to stop his descent but continued to plunge head first. Listen to what you say in interviews and how you say it. (Hopefully, you’ll be accompanied by your painfully, truthful friend.)

A charitable organization

It’s a win-win situation. Celebrities should give back. They make an outrageous sum of money to which most will never know. They have a great opportunity to generate money for a good cause. It doesn’t matter if it’s for orangutans in Borneo or prom dresses for underprivileged teens. Charitable acts are great public relations tools. Whether you insulted the Jews or you were caught cheating on your wife, charity work is a great image builder and if some ape in the jungle gets a banana, even better.

Rock Star: Supernova is starting to remind me of American Idol

I don't necessarily think this is a good thing but Rock Star is starting to feel like a serious competition. Gone is the wild abandon. In is the calculated performances. It was bound to happen since next week they will crown a winner. It's always a tricky when you talk about writing songs. Not everone can do it. Here's the rundown:

Dilana
Made me sweat like a whore in church. I felt like I was watching an American Idol hopeful try to hit the high notes. I didn't think she going to pull it out. She was in great pain from a pulled calf muscle. But my girl pulled it out by the skin of her teeth. Not her best but she showed diversity in song selection. She was great on The Who's Behind Blue Eyes.

Magni
Was stalker-tastic in his selections. The Beatles' Back in the U.S.S.R. was average. His original was angry.

Storm
Was amazing on her original song, "What the What is Lady Like". She rocked it out. It was impressive and earned her a spot in next week's final.

Lukas
Enough already. How has he not been in the bottom three? He's good but what band is he auditioning for? His Bon Jovi song was tortured and didn't really capture the feeling of "Living on a Prayer." His original might have been good but was unintelligable. ENOUGH!!!

Toby
Is the band's newsest pet? They are grooming him for the front man position. Oh, yea. His original was catchy. I must confess, I watched his performance twice through the miracle of TiVo. He brought it home and may be the one. If anyone is going beat Dilana, it might as well be the Aussie! It was the performance of the night.

I can't stop watching Rent. What's wrong with me?

I didn’t even like the movie that much. I don’t know what it is but I’m thinking it’s the music. My inner high school drama geek side is coming out. I must have watched bits and pieces of Rent least six times since it debuted on Starz movie channel. Did I mention I saw it in the movie theater and was disappointed there? I’m out of control. I feel like a meth addict on a two-week binge.

Let’s face it, Rent is brilliant in depicting a narrow slice of NYC bohemia during the early days of the AIDS crisis. While I applaud that, I still don’t get why they won’t pay their rent. I found myself mesmerized by melodies like “Seasons of Love” and “Out Tonight” only to be turned off by the pseudo-rock songs that sounded more like talking than singing. Yet, I keep watching. Pray for me!

In my defense, I’ve always been a musical junkie. You might have heard of my groundbreaking turn as Hortense in the McKinley High School revival of The Boyfriend. Or maybe you heard of me breaking the color barrier as Mother Abbess in the Sound of Music. If not, my mom would be glad to show you the video.

I guess my point is I have much love for the musical and millions of Americans must agree with me. Studios keep bringing Broadway musicals to the big screen. You can believe I will be there on opening day for Dreamgirls. What’s so special about people breaking into song and dance at the drop of a hat? For me, it’s a matter of suspending belief and giving into imagination. I was never into witches and dragons but I started taking dance class at 4. Musicals are my Lord of the Rings and I am thankful for them.

Below are some of my favorites:

Grease, 1978
Need I say more, a classic. Did I mention I was also a Pink Lady in my high school’s production. I had no lines but had the cool pink satin jacket.

Sweet Charity, 1969
It’s worth watching for epics “Hey Big Spender” and “There has to be Some Life Better Than This”. Shirley MacLaine is magical.

All That Jazz, 1979
I adore Bob Fosse. His choreography is distinct and timeless.

Cabaret, 1972
Liza at her best. It’s colorful, vibrant and full of energy. “Money Makes the World Go Round” is to die for.

West Side Story, 1961
I don’t even have to see the entire movie to fall apart at the end. “America” has the best staging.

The Turning Point, 1977
One of my favorite movies. It’s not technically a musical but ahh the dancing. Dream-like and lovely. Mikhail Baryshnikov is sublime and yummy.

What is your favorite movie musical or is the genre dead?

Top Gun apologizes to Pretty Baby

Gotta love Hollywood. Brooke Shields announced on Jay Leno that Tom Cruise came to her house and apologized for his brazen attack on her mental health and parenting skills. Call me a cynic but this apology is a win-win for each of them.

Tom all of a sudden had a change of heart regarding his attack on Brooke? That was over a year ago. All of a sudden he feels sorry. Oh, that's right, he was dropped by Paramount and all of a sudden he realized his judgmental outbursts are affecting his popularity and eventually his box office clout. After more than a year, what made him show up personally at her doorstep to say he was sorry? Hmm.

What made Brooke announce it on national television that Tom apologized? She made a point of saying that he was sincere in his regret. It seems to me Tom has perfected the role of the everyday guy next door. He's alway trying to prove that he's likable and just like you. I don't buy it. It seems too labored. There had to have been some satisfaction in him coming clean. But she's guilty of milking this by once again making it a public issue. Face it, this issue has been great for her book and public persona.

As a marketing and public relations professional, I understand the spin. And Tom Cruise is trying to spin the hell out of this. Who knows it might work. Personally, I think he went too far and will have to walk the gauntlet before coming into America's good graces.

My question to you. Do you forgive Tom Cruise?

Where did the M go in MTV?

Call me a purist but where did all the music go on MTV. Don't get me wrong I believe MTV is a marketing genius and pop culture icon but they have strayed too far from music. Not to date myself but I've been watching MTV since day one. MTV is all about music videos or it used to be.

I do enjoy some of the programming. Pimp My Ride is funny as hell. Cribs is an insightful glimpse into celeb life. I've been known to watch Laguna Beach(don't judge me. I'm weak!). MTV is brilliant with their documentary series including True Life, Diary and Making the Video. But enough is ENOUGH. I don't get to watch videos in their entirety unless I'm watching early morning or late night. But all of these reality series is enough.

Besides the Osbournes whose British eccentric meets vulgar rockers show made riveting television, not much else is must see TV. MTV needs to rethink its programming. How much Real World and accompanying challenge shows can one watch? Aren't those kids close to 30 now? The Real World was in trouble as soon as they left New Orleans. Who gives a shit about Travis Barker and Shannon Moakler? Can Run's House be more boring? Yawn! What are the parents of those spoiled brats thinking on Sweet Sixteen? Does a 16-year-old really need a $50,000 party, $5,000 gown and a brand new Mercedes? And don't get me started on My Own ... or Next. I realize this is geared toward a younger generation but surely they have to be bored by this.

Where's the music? I WANT MY MTV!!!!!!!!!!!

Did Rob Lowe make a pact with the devil?

I ask because I was watching the 1986 film About Last Night ... last night and Rob Lowe looks the same now as he did back them. For that matter, Demi Moore must have lunched with the devil as well. It's shocking to me that some celebs don't seem to age. It shocks and pisses me off. I used to find great comfort in the fact that the young beautiful people will some day get old and less attractive. Not true for the following celebs. I preface this list by saying I don't hate the players but I do HATE the game.

Diane Lane, 41
How is it possible for her to become more enchanting with age? It's not just her girl next door looks. She now has an aire about her. Serene. She has that quality where guys want to date her and girls want her as their best friend. Check out Unfaithful if you doubt me.

Rob Lowe, 42
True story. Rob Lowe and his brother Chad (Don't judge me. He was hot back in the 80s) were two of my first crushes. I lived for The Outsiders and that brief shot of his booty. Well, from looking at him in the West Wing, his booty is probably still in good shape. Yummy!

Jane Seymour, 55
She went from a Bond girl to Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman to Kitty Cat without missing a beat. She looked great in the Wedding Crashers as the hot older mom.

Donny, 49, & Marie, 47 Osmond
They may be a little bit country and a little bit rock n' roll and a whole lotta timeless. Besides the slight weight gain, they both look amazing. Donnie still has his boyish grin. Marie looked slightly overpainted but still cute and bubbly as a judge on Celebrity Duets.

Susan Lucci, 59
She must have made a pact with the underlord for a eternal youth. I personally think she traded an Emmy for years of youth. To prove my point, she finally got her Emmy and I'm starting to suspect strategically-placed bangs aid her ageless look.

Morgan Fairchild, 56
My God, this woman looks the same as she did in the 80s. Sure she wears a lot of make up. Sure she resembles a drag queen but Ms. Fairchild still looks fabulous.

Christie Brinkley, 52
It probably isn't fair to put a supermodel on this list but she could probably use the love these days. She has maintained her timeless all-American beauty while raising multiple children.

I'm asking the readers. Who do you think made a pact with the devil for eternal youth?

MTV Video Awards disappoint-okay they sucked

You know it pathetic when the Emmy Awards are more entertaining than the MTV Video Awards. What a disappointment. I was expecting great things from Jack Black. Hilarious things. Goofy oddball things. I got nothing. The first half hour of the show looked and felt like a high school improvisational class. Jokes were flat. Lighting and music cues were late. It had the production values of the BET Awards. Scrap that, the BET Awards were better produced this year.

Just because the awards were an enormous let down doesn’t mean there weren’t highlights.

Best Channeling of Angie Dickinson
Jennifer Lopez was a hot mess in her 1974 Dressed to Kill meets Space Odyssey get up. Between the metallic dress, matching headscarf and patent leather knee boots, it was unclear what she was thinking. It was matronly and homely. Two words that have never been used to describe JLo.

Unfunniest Moments of the Night
The usually funny Sarah Silverman was uninspired in her rants about Lance Bass and Paris Hilton. I expected more.

Best Appearance by a Corpse
Lou Reed looked a little freaky. It looked like his truss was too tight. Thankfully, he sounded great and hopefully won another generation of fans.

Best Accessory
Boots. They were in every height, color and size. But seriously, isn’t it still summer in NYC?

Best White Trash Moment
Britney and KFed were in hillbilly bliss playing up their ignorance, vanity and questionable parent skills all in one shot. Who needs the tabloids when you can destroy your own image?

Most Deserved Win
Hype Williams was truly deserving of his Video Vanguard Award win. His imagination and innovation helped turn music videos into short art films. Check out the images in the Ex-Girlfriend video by No Doubt. Vivid. Colorful. Perfection.

Worst Dressed Pretty Girl
Believe me there were a lot of them but Vanessa Minnillo took the top prize. Her tight-fitting spangled dress looked like a design by Pageant Queen Kayne of Project Runway fame.

Best Performance
No dancers. No special effects. Real talent. Huge voice. Christina Aguilera stole the show hands down.

The Druck Award
It’s sad when you have to ask this question but some of the MTV presenters hit the bar early. There were several winners in this category. Lil’ Kim, All America Rejects and Jessica Simpson must have been sipping from the same flask.

Worst Plug
Leave it to Diddy to shamelessly plug his artists. Danity Kane hardly deserved the two mentions they received during the ceremony. I watched the show but who are they really?

What was your favorite moment?