The Blah Factor

I was perusing an article on Kevin Costner in USA Today this morning. I was about a paragraph into the article when it dawned on me, I don’t care what KC has to say. Not to take away from his contributions to cinema and pop culture. Bull Durham alone places him in some of the most memorable scenes in film history. Unfortunately, outside of his movie personas and even in some of his roles, he’s truly dull. Boring. Uninteresting. It’s not his fault.

Despite the obvious push and careful orchestrations by clever studio suits to build movie stars, the process can only go so far. And what do we care? To some degree we don’t care if KC doesn’t entertain us with his sharp wit or mesmerizing stories. We care that he brings energy to a movie. However, it becomes tough when certain celebs are shoved down our throat and touted by agents, directors, co-stars and others making money off them as unique individuals. Not everyone can have the charm of Clooney, earthy likeness of Julia or charity mindedness of Brangelina.

They may be brilliant in their profession but lack that certain something personally. Here are my picks for stars that personify the Blah Factor:

Katie Holmes

You would think her emergence into higher celebrity echelon would raise my curiosity level but she’s still as dull as when she was on Dawson’s Creek. At this point her experience and courtship with her couch-jumping hubby haven’t added any edge to bland little Katie. Though her style profile has gone through the roof. Work those shoes, honey.

Carrie Underwood

She’s a delicate songbird with the personality of wrapping paper. Even though she’s showing more gumption now than her tenure on American Idol, she still lacks that personal sparkle. She needs to sass it up a bit.

Tobey Maguire

He’s a great Spidey but even in his roles he has a Rain Man meets the Tin Man quality. He’s not the most fascinating person in young Hollywood. Unless you’re into robots.

Nicole Kidman

Good thing she’s an amazing actress because she seems to be very reserved in her private life. I thought it was the pressure of being Mrs. Cruise but it turns out she’s just extremely distant and remote in person. And I think she has the beginnings of Jokeritis. Her forehead refuses to move.

Who do you think as the Blah Factor?

I'm Still Standing

Last night started my summer TV watching schedule, which besides the belated House season finale included Elton John’s birthday concert from Madison Square Garden taped earlier this spring. Yes, the bitch was back and performed in glamorous and decadent style for his 60th b-day. It was a celebrity-filled event with the likes of President Clinton, Robin Williams and Elizabeth Hurley. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen Anne Hathaway rockin’ out with her girlfriends like it’s last call at the sorority house.

Elton sang all his favorites and was still dynamic without the glittery Donald Duck outfit and enormous eyeglasses. It was possibly more fun watching the drunken and rhythmically challenged concert-goers trying to get their groove on than the performance. The best part was the insightful and often amusing stories from close friends. Scissor Sisters members had a funny tale about the queen throwing a tantrum and them covering their faces in fear.

In honor of Elton’s birthday, I listed my favorite EJ songs. With so many selections, it was difficult to make a decision.

Philadelphia Freedom

As strange as this may sound, this is my favorite song. I adore the energy and vibrancy of the song. I can’t explain it!

Don’t Go Breaking My Heart

How can you not love a duet with someone called Kiki Dee? One of my favorite duets ever. It’s right up there with Islands in the Stream and Endless Love.

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

It is the most beautifully poignant written songs of all time. Simplistic and stylish in the music. Brilliant!!

I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues

This make go back to the craptacular 80s video but I love this song. I dig the doo wop-esque vibe.

Your Song

Another powerful song lyrically. A favorite that crosses generations. A classic.

What’s your favorite EJ song?

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Today is an important day in pop culture history. It marks the day in 1971 that the Pop Culture Diva was born. That’s right, my darlings, I’m 36 and proud of it. I figure if I own it, it becomes a celebration and cause to rejoice. I’m actually okay with being 36. I think people have problems with their age when they are not fulfilled personally. Since my life is a work in progress, I’m always looking a fulfilling my needs and finding joy. It’s working.

To commemorate this big day, I’ve decided to share my pearls of wisdom and nuggets of truth. Here’s what I know at 36:

Life is fleeting! Embrace it and don’t take it for granted. Buy that Gucci purse if you want it. (You know who you are.)

Brad Pitt is possibly the most beautiful man alive (outside of J, of course). Angelina better hold onto his ass and make more babies. Jennifer Anniston should kick herself everyday for letting him go.

Water, sleep, exercise and a good moisturizer are a girl’s best friend especially after age 30.

Reality television is a horrifically addictive trend that will eventually end just like all of those salacious talk shows that polluted daytime television in the 80s. Remember Richard Bey?

Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Richie are not role models. They are marginally talented and minimally interesting play things for the media.

The 80s has spawned some of the most prolific rock and pop music ever made. Not to mention the music videos.

It’s not the size of jeans that makes the woman, it’s her complex mind and wit.

What do you know at your age?

Throw Your Horns Up

Well, summer repeats have already started and though I’m happy for the reprieve, I was dreading my television choices for last night. That was until I saw the VH1 Rock Honors. It’s always proved entertaining in the past much like the Hip Hop Honors. Rockers ZZ Top, Heart, Genesis and Ozzie Osbourne were honored with Super Bowl-like rings and tons of adulation. Celebrities were trotted out to introduce and hype up their musical idols.

The bands were stellar with Alice in Chains providing a thumping soundtrack to Gretchen Wilson as she eeked out ‘Barracuda’. Sweet! The ladies of Heart still rock. Ann Wilson has one of the best voices in rock and roll EVER. Genesis looked like three middle aged British men with melodic genius. Oh yea, that’s basically what they are. Ozzie must have switched to better meds because he was coherent and on task. ZZ Top harkened back to their Texas honky tonk days and supplied young nubile go go dancers in suspended cages.

Here’s the Diva’s look at the most memorable moments:

Crypt Keeper’s School

Ozzie’s band mates looked like the guards at the gates of hell in a Rob Zombie movie. Huge thick biker builds, long Ted Nugent hair and lots of thrashing and angst. They were actually a bit frightening.

Goldie Hawn Tribute

Cameron Diaz was brought in to introduce Heart. Unfortunately, her flighty giggling act is not as endearing as her obvious mentor Goldie. G patented the effect, Cameron is unfortunately annoying in her attempt.

Cousin It Wannabes

The fellas of ZZ Top always looked a bit hairy but now it’s hard to distinguish any skin. Only eyes are visible and maybe a little lip. Amusing in the 80s, scary in 2007.

Rock-Lite

Keene tried to rock it as hard as they could on Genesis’ ‘That’s All’. It was a different take on a classic but sounded like Peter, Paul and Mary trying to cover The Police but you have to love the effort. Cute!

Best Performance

The rockin’ Cabbage Patch Phil Collins was in fine voice last night and yes, he does look like Bob Hoskins. The time away from his band mates has improved his expression and showmanship. He was pretty damn awesome. I forgot how many cool songs Genesis had.

You’re Still Alive

I’m showing my age now but was shocked to see original MTV VJ Adam Curry hosting segments between the show. He looked exactly the same without his bushy 80s curls. He still sounded like the authority on music. Great to see him out. I recently saw Nina Blackwood and let’s just say there is A LOT of water under that bridge.

What did you think?

The Planets are in Alignment

Talent reigns victorious. The big humongous American Idol final show was gaudy, commercial, long and jam-packed with artists stumping for their records. In other words, it was a glorious display of marketing, glamour and ego. I adored it! I wasn’t going to watch but decided that that one beat boxing moon walking troll wasn’t going to stop my inalieanable right to spend two hours watching crappy Up With People-styled production numbers.

AI producers spared us multiple attempts at the shiteous ballad ‘This is My Now’. We only had to suffer through it once at the emotional climax. We learned many things. Like the grasshopper has not surpassed the Master. Doug E. Fresh is still the beatboxing champion despite Blake’s white bread attempt at knocking off his crown. Jordin is not a small girl. Savor her curves now because in a few months she will be 30 pounds lighter and her hair will be miraculousy straighter. AI will make fun of the mentally challenged. The Best Buddy winners of the Golden Idol were heartbreaking.

Here’s the Diva’s take on the show:

Best Sammy Davis Jr. Moment

Blake was touted as the great performer but before him was Sammy Davis Jr. and Taylor Hicks. I forgot what a showman the dancing panda can be. He may have slimmed down, cultivated a sense of style and trimmed is silver hair but his charm and voice are untouched. I think he deserves that chance at stardom and hope he finds the right music to make that happen.

The Tammy Faye Award

Goes to Paula Abdul who predictably fell to pieces when the winner was announced. You can best believe that she would have had the exact same reaction had Blake won. She was a blubbering mess, just like we like her.

John Lennon Rolls Over in his Grave

The moment Kelly Clarkson started bouncing around barefoot in her Janis Joplin gear screeching Sgt. Pepper. It was awkward and clunky and I felt bad for Beatles fans worldwide. Yoko Ono is probably talking to lawyers right now.

Best F U

Went to Chris Daughtry who had performed the previous night but got a shout out from producing legend with the golden ear Clive Davis. I was expecting Clive to pronounce Daughtry bigger than Jesus at any moment. He may not have won but whose laughing now.

Best Performance of the Night

Carrie Underwood shed her bumpkin tunes for one night and performed a lovely rendition of The Pretender’s ‘I’ll Stand By You.’ Brilliant. She may have been dull as dishwater during her stint on AI but one thing was constant – her pure voice.

Best Showbiz Glitz

Melinda Doolittle was a hit with her former bosses Bebe and Cece Wiand. It was like watching the Bobby Jones Gospel Show on BET only with a white puzzled audience who didn’t know what to do with the lyrics or the performers. Splendid.

The ‘Let it Go Already’ Trophy

We’ve had enough fun exploiting Sanjaya. It’s time to put the toy back in the box. The intro was clever but his manic performance was just as startling as the first time especially with Joe Perry accompanying him. Perry was either high on mushrooms or coerced into doing the show by his teenage children. You pick.

What was your favorite part of the night?

Save the Cheerleader Save the World. Done.

I almost laughed myself silly this morning over a hilarious Paula Abdul story. If you haven’t heard, I’ll explain a little later. The news is once again littered with fascinating and ridiculous headlines. Here’s a sampling of what has me mesmerized:

Tripping over Tulips

Our girl, the highly medicated therefore regretfully entertaining Paula Abdul, broke her nose trying to avoid stepping on her itty bitty Chihuahua Tulip. Are you freakin’ kidding me? This is another reason not to have one of those pint-sized mutts, especially if you have problems walking. I’ll admit, I’ve nearly bit the dust trying to avoid my fat cat S as she slid under my feet but this takes on a new dimension when Paula is involved. I can only imagine her drug-induced state tonight during the AI finals. I hope she has black raccoon eyes and a splint on her nose. Classic Paula. Have you seen the preview of her new Bravo show, where she’s walking down the street in a gown as motorists are calling her name and she trips on her hem? More classic Paula. I might have to TiVo that.

Who gives a shit?

I’m still salty that Melinda is missing from the AI finals. I don’t think I’ll even watch it tonight. Why bother? It will be crammed with slick advertisements and a tuneless original song. I welcome Jordin but the idea of another beat-boxing moon walking performance from Blake may push me over the edge. I can’t guarantee my full interest. I may watch Dancing with the Stars. At least Joey Fatone makes me laugh.

Heroes is the Bomb

No pun intended but I have to say that the season finale of Heroes was astounding. Not only did it wrap up some lose ends. It gave us a taste of next season. Brilliant! Hiro is my all-time favorite Hero. Truly bad ass.

Bitten by the Bug

Was watching my TiVo’d Oprah’s this weekend when I saw Sarah Jessica Parker and her fashion line Bitten. Everything is under $20 and cute as hell. It comes in sizes 2-22. Changing the face of fashion. Similar to Forever 21 and H & M but more fashion forward and reasonably priced and better made. Check it out here.


What’s on your mind today?

What's Eating the Pop Culture Diva?

This weekend was blissful. As you know, a reoccurring theme of mine on Monday is the joy of a relaxing weekend filled with my favorite things- sleep, movies and good food. I had all of the above this past weekend. Tops of that list has to be my weekend film selection of Blood Diamond. It had been languishing on my Netflix list for a few weeks when it was finally liberated.

Blood Diamond is a complex film that takes a perplexing look at the conflict (blood) diamonds. No longer the topic of a Kanye West tune, BD examines the cause and effect of the brilliant marketing campaign that has made diamonds a luxury/must-have item across the world.

BD centers around the harrowing story of Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) whose world is torn apart when his village is taken over by rebel forces. Separated from his family, Solomon is forced to mine for diamonds only to come across a coveted pink diamond, which he promptly hides. In order for him to reunite his family, he will have to use the diamond for leverage. Especially his son who was kidnapped and brainwashed by the rebels.

Enter Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio); an opportunistic self-described soldier of fortune that sees Solomon has his big payday. Jennifer Connelly plays Maddy Bowen an optimistic reporter looking for the big story. All come together for a riveting if not exhausting movie that takes you around the world at break neck speed. Its violent scenes brings home the desperation and savagery of rebel soldiers propelled by greed and ignorance.

I found the movies to be a bit too long but worth watching. The topic alone is a conversation starter. DiCaprio is a wonder that just keeps getting better. His maturity as a man and actor bodes well for him. There is no way he could have attempted this role or The Departed 10 years ago. He simply looked too young. Hounsou is intense and expressive; best when he lets lose with what I call his roar, an emotional cry that originates from his belly. Connelly’s character is more of a plot device to move the story along but she shows a youth and freedom that I haven’t seen from her since her teenage days. When she wasn’t playing intense journalist in a serious situation, she was kinda sexy and engaging with DiCaprio.

BD made think of other hallmark Leonardo moments. Below are my favorite Leo roles:

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)

Leo was outstanding as Gilbert’s retarded brother Arnie. The movie is a gem waiting to be discovered and marked Leo’s first Oscar nomination. And did I mention that Gilbert is played by Johnny Depp? Nice eye candy.

The Departed (2006)

Lives up to its reputation. One of Martin Scorsese’s finest. Leo’s all gangsta hot in the film.

The Aviator (2004)

Made me look at him in a different light. Marvelous. The scene with the milk bottles is unforgettable.

Romeo + Juliet (1996)

Didn’t care for the movie on a whole but appreciated the creativity on Shakespeare and energy by the young cast. I probably need to take another look.

What’s your favorite Leonardo role?

Man Whores Unite!

I’ve never been so happy for a Friday in my life. TGIF. With my mind in its usual frenzied state, I started reflecting on Wednesday’s American Idol results show. Not the hideous fact that Melinda Doolittle was robbed of her rightful place in the finals, it’s more about the Maroon 5 performance. I’ve been into the fellas for a while and totally dig the lead singer Adam Levine’s vibe. But let’s keep it real, in his personal life he’s a man whore.

Let me define man whore for you. He’s that cute or sexy or hot guy that loves the ladies and enjoys tempting the boys. Hollywood is brimming with himbos. They bask in the metrosexual sun. They are intriguing in their pure joy in being man whores. It peaks my interest. While I’d never date one, I’m too much of a germ freak to be involved with a loose man and I’m married, I still salute their crafty/shifty/crazy ways.

Here’s a look at my top 5 man whores:

George Clooney

You can clean it up, dress it in an Armani suit and place it in an Italian villa but it’s still a man whore. He’s just more polished and honest in his approach. He loves the ladies, drives the men wild and will never marry. Classic man whore style. No judgement here.

Wilmer Valderamma

Wilmer is a hot mess and typical man whore especially with his delicious accent and tight T-shirts. His liaisons with boney starlets and proclivity for the nightlife qualify him as a man whore.

Colin Farrell

This is your dirty drinking man whore. Once again with the yummy accent. With a recent stint in rehab and a notable absence from the tabloids, it would seem he’s trying to clean up a bit. You can take away the booze and the thin layer of nasty but once a man whore always a man whore.

Lindsey Lohan

Is she really a girl? The voice and slight resemblance of an Adam’s apple may be misleading. She has the sexual appetite of a man or she could just be an old-fashioned tramp but I think there is an argument for man whore status. And her buddy Paris too.

Jude Law

Love the twinkle in his eye but have come to the conclusion that he’s a man whore. Once again with the brilliant accent. If you’ll screw the nanny, you’ll screw anyone. Too bad, I used to find him a lot more interesting when he was happily married father of 10 or however many kids he has.

Who makes your top five?

Let the Shit Storm Begin

Call me the bitchy blogger today but what the hell happened on American Idol last night. It’s finally jumped the shark. This is the first time that someone has made it into the finals that doesn’t deserve to be there. Talented people have bit the dust too soon but the final always contained equal competitors. I’m a Melinda fan but even if I wasn’t, I’d agree that she deserves a spot in the finals for her consistency and never being in the bottom two.

It’s appalling to think that Blake Forrest Gumped his way into the finals. His status as the most talented male has served him well. Had the male field been stronger, he wouldn’t be there. He’s a great entertainer but not a vocalist. It’s a slap in the face for singers everywhere for his appearance in the finals.

Of course, it’s a hit for the show as well. If he wins, it sends the message that flashy packaging wins over substance. I have no doubt that Blake can mature and grow his skills but right now Melinda and Jordin are prepped for success. I always thought Jordin will reign victorious because she is more marketable but I thought Melinda would be nipping at her heels.

The up side of last night’s travesty is that Melinda isn’t bound by the ridiculous AI contract that makes you record that crappy inspiration song. She will get picked up by a record label that will allow her to do her thing. Look at Chris Daughtry and Jennifer Hudson. I just get pissy because it sends a message to kids that you don’t have to have strong vocals in a singing competition. All you need is a gimmick. Hence, all the Britney Spears and Paris Hilton worship amongst young adults.

With that said, am I the only one outraged by last night’s results show?

Last Divas Standing

I have to say there was a new excitement in watching American Idol last night and it wasn’t Blake’s predictable beat boxing/moon walking antics. It was the realization that after next week, I get my life back. Shows are on break for the summer and I get to have a life. My husband gets his wife back. The universe is once again balanced.

Last night’s AI illustrated some strong truths. Melinda is a consistent and versatile powerhouse performer. Jordin’s innocence and great personality can transcend any shitty song and Blake is in the wrong competition. While he is a performer, the ladies are vocalists and outmatch him at every turn. J put it nicely by saying, Blake’s a performer but not even that great of a performer.

Here’s the run down on last night’s craptacular show:

Jordin

Simon picked Wishng on a Star, which is a lovely song. My favorite rendition is by one of those 80s girls dance groups. Was it the Cover Girls or Seducation? You get where I’m coming from. It started off thin but she delivered in the end. The producer’s choice (What happened to Clive Davis this year?) of She Works Hard for the Money was fun in a disco meets the Love Boat kind of way. She is right for this kind of up tempo oldies song. She brought the heat in her final repeat of I Who Have Nothing. Loved it the first time. Adored it the second time.

Blake

Paula picked The Police anthem Roxanne and it almost worked but didn’t have enough energy to lift off but at least it forced him to sing like an adult. The producers hit the jackpot with Maroon 5’s This Love. This is his type of music though his voice is no match for man whore Adam Levine’s. He ended the show with a clever cover of Robin Thicke’s When I Get You Alone. I love this type of singing over a hip hop track however, Blake doesn’t possess enough soul to pull it off. It was a proficient showing that showcased him with the right songs but not enough for him to advance.

Melinda

Randy chose Whitney Houston’s I Believe in You and Me, the ultimate wedding song, for Melinda. And I’m pretty sure that she thanked Randy Johnson at the end of the clip. Perhaps that’s Randy’s evil twin. The producers picked Nutbush City Limits, which allowed her to perfect her swagger and growl. It was extremely brash and bold for the nice girl. She ended the night with Woman and the sass was back. She earned a spot in the finals.

Jordin and Melinda will be the last divas standing.

Who do you think will make it to next week’s finals?

For Your Consideration

I saw a quirky movie Friday night. In between my bouts of end-of-the week exhaustion, For Your Consideration was amusing. From the twisted mind of Christopher Guest, FYC is a bizarre and often hilarious look into movie making, marketing and the entire nomination process. It has the usual Guest players Parker Posey, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Harry Shearer, Jennifer Coolidge and more. It wasn’t the funniest Guest film I’ve seen but he has a profound talent for silly yet thoughtful comedies/parodies.

This reminded me of other wacky/bizarre films I adore. Here are a sampling of the best quirky comedies:

Better Off Dead (1985)

“I want my $3.” It doesn’t get funnier than that. This is one of the great underrated 80s comedies that starred John Cusak before he was crowned the king of self-important romantic comedies. It’s pure 80s pop culture fluff.

Being John Malkovich (1999)

I guess this is considered a comedy. I remember thinking it was incredibly surreal and imaginative at the time. It’s been years since I’ve seen it but I know it still holds up. Clever. Well written. Great casting. John Cusak before he got paunchy. Cameron Diaz is unrecognizable.

Best in Show (2000)

I don’t believe in cat people and dog people but this movie makes a strong argument that these groups exist. Everyone has witnessed this perverted new trend in dog ownership. Tiny canine designer clothes, shoes and diamond studded colors. This film is gloriously over the top with its insightful look into dog shows. Waiting for Guffman is another gem by Guest.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

I knew I was watching something edgy and fresh when I saw this at the theater. I saw it three times, which is unheard of for me. Each time someone walked out of the theater early, not sure of what they were witnessing. I was enchanted and mesmerized. It’s so original in it’s humor and tone. It's obvious Quentin Tarantino has a love of film, actors and the audience.

What are your favorite quirky comedies?

When did I turn into my mother?

I’m not sure when it happened but I woke up one day and I was a lot more like my mother than I was comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong! G is a fascinating woman. She has a love of shopping that could only be rivaled by Posh Spice. She is the only black woman without rhythmn. The Electric Slide is the ultimate challenge. She has visited every casino is North America, which has replaced her addiction to bingo. Her email onehotbingomomma speaks volumes. Her favorite song is Elvis’ “In the Ghetto.”

I grew up with many images of pop culture mothers. Some were familiar while others rang false. June Cleaver was a great mother but I couldn’t relate to a stay at home mom. My mother always worked. Claire Huxtable was a loving mother and while she was black and had G’s edge, she was still too easy going. It wasn’t until I saw Terms of Endearment that I recognized my mother. She’s a black version of Shirley MacLaine’s character Aurora Greenway. The pill scene could have been ripped from my life. She’s a demanding, loyal, fierce and protective momma bear.

In honor of Mother’s Day, here’s the top five ways I knew I was turning into my mother.

5. I started wearing her longtime scent Youth Dew by Estee Lauder a couple of years ago and get at least once compliment each time I wear it.

4. I started taking extremely hot showers and bathes while also refusing to wear gloves when I clean with strong detergents and scalding water.

3. I can turn a simple trip to the grocery store into a epic journey, which can easily send me to other stores and lunch.


2. I have the most expressive eyes. My face may not say your breath stinks but my eyes will send you the message

1. My blog is peppered with such G sayings as “Lord have mercy”, “… go sit down somewhere”, “Good God” and more. If it sounds folksy, it’s G.

Is your mother a character from a movie/TV show? If so, which once?

How Deep is Your Love

Last night I was in 70s mellow Bee Gees heaven. The American Idol wannabes had the unfortunate task pf selecting from a list of over 600 songs penned by that cuddly/hairy Bee Gee Barry. These songs are so well known it’s hard not to sound like karaoke. During his mentoring sessions, I couldn’t help but imagine Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake as the brothers on SNL.

The budding singer’s song choices were baffling. Jordin sang two dreary overblown ballads and Blake used beat boxing to nauseating heights on two dance tracks. Where was the diversity? Not to mention the evil stylists were at it again. Jordin looked like she packed on 20 pounds on her behind. Her clothes are hugging her glorious curves at all the wrong angles. Melinda’s jeans were so damn tight I wouldn’t be surprised if she got a yeast infection and they were hanging low in the crotch despite hanging on for dear life to her thighs.

I thought I’d take another approach to blogging AI this week. I’m looking at what songs would be a great fit for the contestants.

Melinda

Homegirl is the resident professional. She’s consistent and thoughtful in her interpretations. I see her as a young Stephanie Mills or Natalie Cole. She needs to show more sassy contemporary personality. She could benefit from “This Will Be” by NCole and “Gravity” by John Mayer or tackling Mary J. Blige or Alicia Keys. Corinne Bailey Rae could fit as well.

Blake

We get it. You can beat box. The problem is figuring out what songs to beat box on and how often. Last night’s double dose seemed foolish and didn’t work like the previous week. He could benefit from a Maroon 5 song like “Harder to Breathe” or Jason Mraz.

LaKisha

She’s a great belter but needs a song that doesn’t call for shouting or over the top dramatics. I would take her to Motown or the great jazz stylings of Dinah Washington, Etta James or the new darling Amy Winehouse.

Jordin

She’s proven she’s up for anything but extremely fast tracks lose her. She’d be great at bringing a young spin to the great singer/songwriters of the 70s like Carly Simon, Carol King and my Idol James Taylor. These are pure well-written songs that would allow her to shine without taking her over.

What do you think?

Get Off the Damn Couch!

I ran into this article in USA Today and was quite frankly elated. Top 25 public meltdowns. I live for this stuff. Not because someone is having a nervous break down or going through a traumatic situation but because it puts my la vida loca in perspective. I firmly believe that there is a lot to learn from celebrities and public figures. Not just how to date your nanny or abuse your children in a fit of rage. We can learn from their mistakes since they are so public and open to scrutiny.

Check out the 25 here. I like #6, #12, #14, #15 and #17. I’m not sure how #24 got there.

What are your favorites? What should be added to the list?

I'm Not Saying I'm Clairvoyant

But I can predict the future. I’m referring to Oprah’s recent guest Dina Matos McGreevey, the long -suffering wife of former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey/the gay American. You may remember the buzz a few years back when after being blackmailed by a male lover, McGreevey was shoved out of the closet. Who was the glassy-eyed blond with the nervous smile by his side? It was his mortified and obviously stunned wife.

I remember watching the show and thinking his story was interesting but everyone would want to hear from his wife. I knew Oprah would get the interview. Dina was out promoting her new book Silent Partner. I have to say her appearance was a huge disappointment. If her book reads like her interview, it will suck.

It’s obvious that she’s passed her shocked stage and slid into the bitter angry stage. I’m not saying she doesn’t have a right to be there. I probably would have slashed his clothes or caught his clothes on fire ala Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. But she’s way too furious to tell her story objectively. She needs more time and prospective on the matter.

She portrayed herself as a victim and I don’t think she’s a victim. She’s a survivor. Her husband did a hurtful thing but she’s still taking the angle that she had no clue. She admits he was extremely secretive. Hushed conversations with his first wife? Throwing a secret party for Wife #1? Not meeting his child from the first marriage? Never visiting her in-laws house? Having his friend ask you if you’d accept a proposal from him if he asked?? This doesn’t make him gay but it does make him peculiar. She sounded like she was in the denial stage.

I’m not judging her but her story and memories didn’t seem 100%.

If you saw the Oprah or read the book, what are your thoughts?

Slippery When Wet

Sometimes I have a moment of clarity at the most surprising times. I walk past a mirror and catch a glimpse of something wild and untamed. Turns out it’s me. My hair has totally frizzed out from doing Tae Bo. I look like a young Tina Turner. I’m watching American Idol and the guest mentor is Jon Bon Jovi. I realize I’m older, once again I refuse to say old. I know all of the Bon Jovi songs. They were the biggest thing running my senior year, next to Def Leppard and George Michael. Yes, we all wanted his sex. Class of ’89 rocks.

I was shocked and relieved that Bon Jovi night didn’t turn out to be another Gloria Estefan debacle. All of the contestants channeled their inner rock star with some amazing results. The selections were typical but filled with power. The stylists went into heavy metal gear. There was more big hair, tight denim, leather boots and chunky jewelry than all of Ozzyfest. With two wannabes being eliminated, performances needed to be perfect.

Here’s the run down:

Phil-Blaze of Glory

He’s definitely found his niche in the country rock format but he was yelling again last night. It was a tad manic and scary but at least it was filled with energy and motion. You didn’t want to fall asleep like on his other endevours.

Jordin-Livin’ on a Prayer

I was surprised she had trouble on this but she worked it the best she could. Her powerhouse voice wouldn’t allow her to let go and live the song. It kind of spun out of control but she was rockin’ the latest in suburban rocker goth wear.

LaKisha-This Ain’t a Love Song

At least I think this was the name of the song. Whatever it was, she sang the hell out of it. I just hope it isn’t too late for her. She was able to direct her belting voice into a rock song. Brilliant! Oh, and did I mention the Kiki/Simon kiss. I always knew he liked the black girls.

Blake-You Give Love a Bad Name

I wanted to hate this from the beat box opening to the Michael Jackson ending but it was pretty good. I don’t know that beat boxing is so much an innovation to a song in 2007 but it was different. Simon had it right. Half of the audience will love it the other half will hate it. My mother won’t know what to make of that.

Chris-Dead or Alive

Poor kid was trying to make it work but barely held on to the groove. I thought he would play up the country boy within since the R & B crooner gets diluted more and more each week.

Melinda-Have a Nice Day

She might not know how to throw up the horns but she can kick it rock style. This was the performance she needed to show her sassy side on a contemporary song. Kudos.

The bottom three will be Chris, Kiki and Phil.

Who do you think is going home?

Casting Call

With Rosie O’Donnell looking to spread her verbose opinions in another venue, it makes me wonder who should replace Rosie on The View. I don’t know if it’s intentional but the brainstorming titans that suggested annoying Rose for annoying Star missed the mark. I know it is a clever marketing ploy to hire Rosie but they need to take into account the existing personalities. Frigid uptight Elisabeth Hasselbeck fills their quota of annoying. They need to branch out in different directions. Explore more diverse backgrounds.

Here are the Diva’s choices for the new Rosie:

Queen Latifah

Seriously. She would be perfect for the show. She’s grounded, sarcastic and hilarious without being offensive for the sake of being offensive. She would add that bit of flava that’s missing from the panel. She’d set the girlfriends in check with style and panache.

Cristina Saralegui

For those of you who don’t know Cristina, she’s the Hispanic Oprah. A woman of a certain age that can tell you you’re dumb and ugly yet you wouldn’t get offended. She has that warm Tia/Abuela vibe.

Leah Remini

With the King of Queens coming to an end, this would be the perfect time for the acid tongued Brooklyn gal to try this format. My only concession to this entry is she can’t use this forum to taut the pseudo religion Scientology. There needs to be a clear division. Her wise cracking persona would complement the existing women.

Mo’nique

Yes, the spelling of her name is ridiculous and yes, her participation in Charm School is suspect but this plus sized beauty is a wonder. She’s warm real with a mad dash of ghetto thrown in. Plus they could afford her.

Who do you think should replace Rosie?